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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman threw water at me

396 replies

ijustheartdietcoke · 04/03/2017 21:45

I was cycling and came to some trafficlights. A woman was looking at her phone so I banged on her window and shouted get off your phone. She tried to throw water at me and drove off, would police be interested?

OP posts:
tigerdriverII · 05/03/2017 11:40

Were you being a policeman for a day, OP. Did this perhaps happen on World Book Day and you were dressed up as Mr Plod?

Woman threw water at me
AwaywiththePixies27 · 05/03/2017 11:41

OP. This went viral in twitter last year about two men that threw water at someone. Not quite the same thing as a motorist doing it and not much happened to them. m.nottinghampost.com/brothers-banned-from-tram-after-water-thrown-over-passenger/story-29977131-detail/story.html

But report phone lady nonetheless. She shouldn't have been using her phone.

StumblyMonkey · 05/03/2017 11:49

Away...no it isn't but I'm sure we can come up with many examples that are similar. Whilst illegal in the context she wasn't causing harm or likely to do so, as such I don't believe vigilantism is required taking the context into account.

Obviously you live in a different world to be...I'd be pretty shocked/startled if someone rudely banged on my window whether I was looking at a phone or not. Presumably if not looking at her phone she would have been looking at the lights/ road ahead/ mirror and would have been equally startled so not sure what your point is in that regard?

RiversrunWoodville · 05/03/2017 11:50

Now while I'm not saying it was ok for her to be on her phone op was 10% vvvvu to bang on the window. It's not up to you to be some kind of rogue vigilante law enforcement and as someone who lives in NI and has had an attempted carjacking it can indeed come from the passenger side and believe me, my reaction to the previous (genuine attempt) would have been the same and op would have been in hospital by now.

StumblyMonkey · 05/03/2017 11:50

And presumably Away, Cinnamon and OP never, ever break a rule. I'm sure you never drive 41mph in a 40 zone.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 05/03/2017 11:51

Given I don't drive stumbly. No I haven't.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 05/03/2017 11:53

What was your reaction Rivers?

CountClueless · 05/03/2017 11:54

Isn't illegal to intimidate and scare people by banging on their window and shouting at them?

yabvu

mrsBeverleygoldberg · 05/03/2017 11:56

I had a cyclist bang on the car window at me as he went past. I'm not sure why as I'd seen him and given him plenty of room. He really glared at me too.

MuseumOfCurry · 05/03/2017 11:58

Regardless of whether people think the OP was right or wrong to knock on the phone lady's window. If the phone lady was paying attention to the road and her surroundings then the OP wouldn't have startled/scared her I imagine.

Drivers aren't obliged to constantly scan their surroundings when they're at red lights.

Most often I'm fetching a piece of gum out of the console, fiddling with the radio, chatting with/yelling at my children, checking my reflection in the rear view mirror, etc. I think this makes me fairly typical rather than terribly irresponsible, mostly because I have no points on my license or accidents in the past 25 years (I had a couple as a new driver).

r0tringLover · 05/03/2017 12:00

Sweets101

No, and I didn't realise I was having one with you. It was supposed to be supporting your comment. I'm not looking for an arguement but it sounds like you may be.

Proudmummytodc2 · 05/03/2017 12:10

I haven't RTFT but yes what she was doing was illegal, but I think your were unreasonable to hit her car.

This happened to my friend someone on a bike went by her at lights and very loudly hit her car window for nothing and she had her baby in the car who had a heart condition and was awaiting surgery (she was on way to hospital that day as that's when the baby was being admitted) and it caused her baby to go in to shock because of the heart condition.

The baby is now ok and is 3 years old incase anyone wants to know and is very happy and healthy.

I think this was a very stupid thing for you to do. You are lucky it was only water she threw at you.

Before anyone says the situation was different it's not really because you don't know if any of the occupants in the car have someone wrong like that.

RiversrunWoodville · 05/03/2017 12:35

As dinned into me by RUC relatives (age showing here!) drove like hell in a non straight line with door still open and did not stop. (Had had door locked but they smashed window) they soon let go. They were not armed it was a poorly organised rural blockade in the early days of the Drumcree standoff when the whole province was affected and luckily we had been well advised what to do

barinatxe · 05/03/2017 12:43

YABCFU. The woman was wrong to be using her phone, however your actions in verbally and physically assaulting her and her property were much more outrageous than anything she was doing.

At least this woman's actions caused a cyclist to actually stop at some red traffic lights - that's got to be a first...

TotalPineapple · 05/03/2017 13:01

Then you're breaking the law. You're in charge of the vehicle and a lot can happen whilst you're sitting at traffic lights in terms of other vehicles and people moving around you. If the lights change and then you just drop the phone and move off, in all likelihood you'll do so without making proper checks. People really need to get it into their thick heads that you shouldn't use phones whilst driving and that includes being at traffic lights. The majority of accidents happen at junctions, try concentrating when you're operating dangerous machinery.

That's a pretty big leap. You can move off without proper checks even if you were starting at the red light for the last ten minutes. You can also be found to be breaking the law for tuning your radio, or eating a single gummy bear, which are no more distracting than changing gear.

Most accidents happen at junctions, but they involve moving or stopping cars most of the time, not people moving off without checking.

I'm pretty sure my six month old is more distracting than my phone, but I'm allowed her in the car even when it's moving!

I think most people I know probably break multiple laws a day operating on common sense, because the law is a blunt instrument and humans are not robots.

All that said, how exactly does scaring the shit out of the poor woman make the situation any safer? She's unlikely to become hyper vigilant at junctions unless it's to look out for aggressive cyclists.

wettunwindee · 05/03/2017 13:10

verbally and physically assaulting her and her property

Haha. Brilliant.

Are we reading the same thread?

PussInCoutts · 05/03/2017 13:34

Seeing as so many PP here find it hard to understand, I second molecule

A fellow speeder's friend was checking her texts at traffic lights, car stationary. Lights changed, she sped off, straight over a cyclist who she killed. She got a six year jail sentence. This was a middle aged, middle class mother of two or three children, not a 17 year old daft lad showing off to his friends.

So for all you saying it is quite ok to use your phone at lights, it is not. They are exceedingly distracting and can be fatal. We were told the phone should be out of reach at all times you are in the car on a public highway.

Read. That. Again.

Not comparable to throwing litter Hmm

And I second PP who made the very good point of why does one need to keep checking their phone all the time -- you're not that important!

PussInCoutts · 05/03/2017 13:37

Exactly what Cinnamon said

Good for you. I wish more people would police the general public, perhaps there would be less bad driving ,aggressive behaviour and litter about. It might even bring about respect for each other...

And sweets thanks I had a great sleep, and you were really bloody mean in some of your posts, making snarky fun at the expense of someone who actually knows what the regulations on driving are in practise as well as just in theory, ie the OP

You say you know it's illegal sweets but that's not really the point is it, the main point is it is bloody dangerous and should not be done!

CountClueless · 05/03/2017 13:40

Good for you. I wish more people would police the general public, perhaps there would be less bad driving ,aggressive behaviour and litter about. It might even bring about respect for each other

WTF? Banging on peoples windows and shouting at them IS aggressive behaviour. And it certainly isn't respectful either. Are you on glue?

Screwinthetuna · 05/03/2017 13:45

Why would you bang on her window, though? I get that it's illegal but she wasn't moving and come on, there are bigger crimes in the world. No, she shouldn't have been doing it but unless you are a policewoman, it's pretty brutish/ridiculous of you to bang on someone's window and demand they get off their phone.

Molecule · 05/03/2017 14:50

Thanks Puss I thought my post had been totally ignored.

Yes people do grab a sweet out of the glove box at traffic lights, but that is no where as distracting as being totally absorbed by your texts. Head down, looking at a text, lights change, someone beeps to let you know, and off you go without thinking/looking. Most of the time it's harmless and no one is hurt, same as speeding, but every now and again it is literally fatal.

PussInCoutts · 05/03/2017 14:51

Exactly molecule. It really frightens me people don't take the risks seriously!

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 05/03/2017 14:56

Hahaha barinatxe showing yet again how much they hate cyclists.

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 05/03/2017 15:00

Plenty of drivers seem to think nothing of winding their window down to have a go at a cyclist. Is there any difference to this?

Sweets101 · 05/03/2017 15:39

I never said it should be done puss there you go again making stuff up