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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think SiL takes Facebook 'likes' too much to heart?

92 replies

FirstOfHerName · 03/03/2017 11:20

SiL is very glamorous – think Footballer’s Wives levels of maintenance. She also loves the high life and expensive brand name stuff and she and DB1 are always flying business class or out at fancy restaurants or hotels. They constantly post photos of themselves partaking in these activities on Facebook, and SiL posts dozens of glam selfies per week. All fine in itself if that’s what you want to do.

However, if I or any member of my family don’t happen to click Like or make a comment on her photo saying how fabulous she looks, DB1 rings us and tells us off! My DM has got several bollockings from him for not doing this – apparently SiL was in tears last time, as none of us had Liked her last selfie. He even told my DM exactly what to say when making a comment on this! It’s actually really upsetting my DM but whenever I or DB2 try to talk to DB1 about it he gets shitty with us.

AIBU to think this is all a bit batshit?

(And no, I'm not going to delete my Facebook account just because of this!)

OP posts:
kaitlinktm · 03/03/2017 11:49

I can honestly say that I have never liked any of my SiL's self-indulgent selfies - why would I want to encourage her? She has enough sycophantic likers to bolster her vanity.

Original poster
FirstOfHerName · 03/03/2017 11:50

Crikey, I would deleted her off my facebook, can't be faced with all that hassle.

I'm not sure I have the strength to deal with all the drama that would follow if I did that...

OP posts:
SapphireStrange · 03/03/2017 11:50

Tell him they both need to get lives.

Itsnotwhatitseems · 03/03/2017 11:51

she sounds incredibly insecure to value her worth by the number of likes she gets on a FB Selfie. Its as if she thinks her only asset is her looks, does she have a job or any other interests? It would drive me a little insane being hassled for likes by an 'adult'

My son went through an insecure phase and asked me to like certain posts etc on FB after his fiancé finished with him. It was as if he was seeking reassurance online for what was lacking in his real life.

LagunaBubbles · 03/03/2017 11:51

Your brother is just as bad ringing up to tell people off, mad!

littlefrog3 · 03/03/2017 11:54

Oh wow! I think I would make a point of NOT 'liking' anything from now on.

It's amazing though, the amount of people who seem desperate to get as many 'likes' as possible. I have lost count of the amount of people (family and friends and colleagues,) who beam with pride when a post or pic they put gets 50 or 60 'likes.' Often though, they have 500 'friends,' so that's still 450 people who haven't acknowledged it! It's really pathetic! I have even known people delete their pic if they only get 3 or 4 likes! And I know one person who will keep reposting a pic so it keeps coming up at the top of peoples timelines, so it gets noticed and they get lots of 'likes.'!

Anyhoo, changing the subject a bit; I know this one girl on FB who becomes a MASSIVE FAN of any celeb that dies. Even though she has never mentioned them before EVER. First Bowie, then Prince, Victoria Wood, Pete Burns, Leonard Cohen, then George Michael.

Since George died, she hasn't stopped blathering about him, and posts 10-20 time a day about him. She says how she can't stop sobbing and having nightmares about her precious George. And she has been joining groups to mourn the loss of George, and has met up with several people a few times. You'd think it was her son that she had lost FFS!

She used to have 333 friends on FB, (around Autumn last year,) and she now has 245. Don't know if some 90 friends have unfriended her, or if she has unfriended them, but she is a pain... so it's probably them ditching her. I have unfollowed her myself, coz I can't bear to read her crap every time I log onto FB.

She did have phases of going on about her kids (calling them 'perfect daughter' and 'perfect son;') and she'd post 10 times a day about her 'wonderful kids,' but now she has this thing about whining about celebs dying, and how it's affecting her life. She even had people coming onto FB after George died saying 'you OK HUN?' And 'sorry for your loss; you must be devastated!' FFS, he is a pop singer that didn't even know her. That made me so mad that I unfollowed her then and haven't 'liked' anything she has posted since.

Also a MASSIVE attention seeker, but for different reasons.

minimonkey11 · 03/03/2017 11:54

Tell her to watch that episode of black mirror

MrsExpo · 03/03/2017 11:58

This really is taking self obsession to w whole new level. She needs to see someone I think ... maybe counselling might help. Why not suggest it, next time ....

Userone1 · 03/03/2017 11:58

Lol@ instgram photos, brilliant!

BarbaraofSeville · 03/03/2017 12:04

She sounds bonkers or mentally ill. There must have been some strange conversations in their house for BIL to actually call people to tell them to like things. Bizarre.

I would ignore them totally and either unfollow or unfriend them and I wouldn't be able to do anything other than laugh, and say 'Really, you're joking, right' if either of them said anything to me. Adults don't behave like this do they?

LemonBreeland · 03/03/2017 12:05

She does sound like an insecure teenager. I would make a point to never like or comment on anything she ever posted again.

Talkietalk · 03/03/2017 12:05

Extremely batshit - who has time to be concerned over things like this

aquashiv · 03/03/2017 12:08

Just say grow up.

GeorgiePeachie · 03/03/2017 12:08

I'm sorry you've chosen to feel that way. I don't have time to check facebook at work/dealing with kiddos/housework/while working out/living my life.

littlefrog3 · 03/03/2017 12:11

I'm sorry you've chosen to feel that way. I don't have time to check facebook at work/dealing with kiddos/housework/while working out/living my life.

This ^ Send this to the brother. What a dreadful couple they sound. Imagine what their children are gonna be like? God help us all! Shock

KurriKurri · 03/03/2017 12:12

Does she like everything everyone else posts - or is this just a one way thing?
I would post things like 'old bike for sale' or 'had fish and chips for tea' , give it five minutes and if she hasn't liked phone your brother and moan at him. Keep doing until he gets the message.

(Frankly I blame your DB rather than you SIL - he is the one phoning, he should be dealing with her upset and telling her not to take it personally not hassling you and your Mum)

Original poster
FirstOfHerName · 03/03/2017 12:14

Its as if she thinks her only asset is her looks, does she have a job or any other interests?

Believe it or not, she works in the City as an investment banker, so is no bimbo, but is obsessed with keeping up appearances.

OP posts:
MadMags · 03/03/2017 12:19

Dear God!

This is utterly, utterly ridiculous!

My job requires me to keep quite a high profile on social media. I actually dislike that element of it...

I have a very separate online life/real life.

But I post "funny" statuses (stati?) and memes etc. I don't sit taking endless selfies all week. That's so cringeworthy.

justcantthinkofaname · 03/03/2017 12:20

I think your brother is the insane person unless it's her forcing him to phone you, she clearly is insecure or attention seeking. Being insecure can be understandable and you can't help feeling that way, but social media is not the place to get reassurance of your insecurities, it will only make them worse.

I dont feel the need to like and post on my sister's posts or to like her newest profile pictures or anything shes tagged in, she knows how I feel without all that. I doubt anyone else cares or notices that you don't.

I cringe when my to be MIL posts all over her daughters posts and likes them all especially her business page telling everyone how amazing she is at her job and she can vouch for her... she would say that, shes her Mother, you would always be bias in this situation when being related to someone so what's the point.

ShoutOutToMyEx · 03/03/2017 12:20

It is batshit but I know some people like this too.

How old is SIL? I'm of a generation that grew up with social media and I find that my peers and I just don't get worked up about likes etc, while those who were introduced to it as adults do attach a lot more meaning to those things.

It sounds like it really stresses her out, she must find life quite hard!

WellErrr · 03/03/2017 12:22

Wow

FrenchLavender · 03/03/2017 12:27

I would have to say "sorry, I just can't commit to spending that much time on FB. Nothing personal, I think she's lovely! If it helps, I can give her a thumbs up every time I see you?"

that made me snort with laughter Grin

NataliaOsipova · 03/03/2017 12:27

Isn't the phrase "No one likes a show off?"......

handslikecowstits · 03/03/2017 12:28

she works in the City as an investment banker but is obsessed with keeping up appearances

She obviously isn't very happy. It seems like a massive projection to me - trying to make up for something.

YANBU but I wouldn't pander to any of this. If my brother phoned to give me a bollocking, I'd put the phone down on him. Fuck that shit.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 03/03/2017 12:29

My DM has got several bollockings from him for not doing this – apparently SiL was in tears last time, as none of us had Liked her last selfie. He even told my DM exactly what to say when making a comment on this!

Said quickly, "Fuck off" is one word.