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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Driving dilemma wwyd

18 replies

whatisforteamum · 02/03/2017 19:36

I seem to have developed a phobia about driving.occasionally I would feel a bit anxious however I still managed to get myself to work and the shops and keep independent.Dh does the long hauls and motorways.
Recently I took on a local job I could walk too. Then I became I'll with flu and didn't drive for two weeks.I then returned to my old job and happily drove there and back.After a few weeks I got in my car one day to go to work and felt very dizzy.I pulled off the roundabout and went home by foot.this happened again later that day.I then resorted to the bus..after two weeks I tried driving and had to leave my car in the next village and walk back.
Family members have helped me a couple of times but are losing patience as I'm now not keen on the bus.
Wwyd
1 go out with dh who can take over
2 stop driving
3 ask my sons driving instructor for lessons
I have had alclear on blood tests from the Gp.I have never had an accident although a lorry wrote my car off over a yr ago when it hit me while I was stationary.

OP posts:

JaneEyre70 · 02/03/2017 19:43

There's no law to say you have to drive if you don't want to. If you're getting physical symptoms from your anxiety over it, then you're in all honesty probably not safe to be on the road, and if you can manage without driving, then don't put yourself through all that stress. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

Original poster

whatisforteamum · 02/03/2017 20:18

The downside is I last loose my independence though.

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twofloorsup · 02/03/2017 20:32

My son had this problem and had managed to overcome it with some counselling mostly over the phone I think. I sympathise as I could see how debilitating it was.

picklemepopcorn · 02/03/2017 20:50

Work on relaxation. Anything that reduces your anxiety overall will help this phobia. So do yoga, learn some relaxation exercises, positive visualisation before you head out to the car etc. It takes work but you can do it.

Original poster

whatisforteamum · 02/03/2017 20:50

Looking on the internet it is quite a common phobia.I have no idea why it suddenly struck me unless it started as a virus then became a phobia.my dh said I'm over thinking it which I am now the same as the bus journey.

OP posts:

Brightsmoke · 02/03/2017 20:55

I'd go out with instructor a few times, knowing they have part control may help

StarkintheSouth · 02/03/2017 21:11

I'd have a few lessons with an understanding instructor to bring up your confidence. I totally sympathise as I get anxious. I read a book (title escapes me now sorry) but it said that creative/imaginative people tend to have this problem as their mind takes them to the worst case scenario. I'd imagine all the things that can go wrong when driving and then brood and stress about that, rather than focussing on the act of driving itself which I can do and I'm not that bad. But I still get anxious. So I think maybe some top up lessons to reinforce your skills and boost your confidence as well as perhaps some kind of counselling to learn some anxiety reducing tips? X

greedycushionhoarder · 02/03/2017 23:06

I believe the AA offer a free anxious drivers lesson for drivers who have developed a driving phobia, it might be worth a try.

greedycushionhoarder · 02/03/2017 23:08

Just checked, it's called AA drive confident course.

PeaFaceMcgee · 03/03/2017 00:36

Clinical hypnotherapy. Search nch register.

IRegretNothing · 03/03/2017 00:44

Op, I'm going thru this right now and it's bloody hard. I've missed 5 weeks of uni as I just can't make it in without my car (the drive takes 1hr 15 on motorway).
I'm getting my bil to sit in the car with me while i drive this weekend to get my confidence back. I'm nervous already but bil will calm me down a bit. Would that be an option?

Original poster

whatisforteamum · 03/03/2017 07:18

Great suggestions thank you all so much :)I feel lost in a way as previously I did the school run then went home to do chores then went to work no problem.intact I loved the drive as I had my music on and would sometimes drive to be alone and think.
In 32 years. I've never had points or caused an accident.
I do have underlying stress in that my df is terminally I'll though he has. Been much worse than he is now and I haven't felt solo anxious.it was he who told me to get driving again and not let this blip be the new normal..
Dh has said he will go with me today.I think in a week if on no better I will call the gp.Sorry you are struggling to get to uni iregretnothing have you got underlying stress too? I hope your bio helps x

OP posts:

Original poster

whatisforteamum · 03/03/2017 07:19

BIL*

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Julju · 03/03/2017 07:21

I would definitely look for a local driving instructor who specialises in nervous drivers and book in some refresher lessons which might help to get your confidence up. If you had never been happy driving I'd say maybe don't push it, but you have been and it feels like it's something you can tackle! Definitely see if you can refer yourself for some CBT which will help arm you with techniques to overcome to reaction which leads to the anxiety and panic when you are in the car.

Good luck!

Janet80 · 03/03/2017 07:26

Could it be your eyesight? I found I was getting anxious at night, I had an eye test and my sight had changed. Once I had my new strength lenses, night driving was normal again.

Original poster

whatisforteamum · 03/03/2017 07:58

Yes Janet eye test is next.surprisingly I loved driving at night more though.Roundabouts give me the most fear.thank you for reassuring Me mumsnetters.
It would Mr a lot to me as my dh often gets different days off.
Getting to work ten minutes away would be great.

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IRegretNothing · 03/03/2017 09:21

Whatis I'm an anxious type person but I did used to enjoy driving like you.
It sounds like the driving issue is referred stress from all the other things going on for you. I'm sorry you're having a tough time of it at the moment. I'm sure having dp will help make you feel 'you' again. My dp doesn't drive but he's still a calming influence in the passenger seat on unfamiliar journeys. He tells me I can do it and that I'm a good driver!
I totally know what you mean about it not wanting to be the new normal! I've only been driving a year but getting my licence was so empowering and I just can't let it slip away. When you go with dp try to keep to your usual routine amd act like it was any normal day going to work before this happened. I try to trick myself into just getting on with it if you know what I mean. I think ruminating on it for too long makes me worse and if I try to dismiss negative thoughts I sutprise myself with things I can do!

Original poster

whatisforteamum · 03/03/2017 09:53

Thank you for the encouragement.its crazy that all the time DM was very I'll and dh had a heart attack I was OK.I wonder if getting my work hrs reduced has given me more time to think !! I've been far too busy for many years :) onwards and upwards as they say.also D's is learning g to drive so I want to show him it is so liberating.

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