Am I always the troublemaker?

[troubleunderscoremaker]

Ok, so I am ready for people to throw tomatoes at me. I will be completely honest as you are complete strangers.

So here it goes: sigh.

I am 27, and I can't hold a job down. I've only got female bosses who seem to hate me all the time. I quite had nice coworkers though not of all the time. I had decent relationships with them. I work in customer services and while I do agree the pitch of my voice can be a bit loud and firm I am doing my best to serve my customers.

I am at the fourth job now, and after 4 months things don't seem any better. My director hates me, she calls me into her office every day, she blames me a lot and I really don't know what to do. The worst part is that I'm part time (4 hrs/day) and she makes everything possible for me to stay extra at least another 2 hrs (unpaid, of course), which I cannot really do as I have other commitments (hence looking for part time work).

WWYD? I can't keep job hopping anymore but also I can never seem to be able to shut up because my sense of justice is too damn high. I will have to admit I had issues in the past with customer as I lost my patience and dropped a few harsh words, but definitely not offending.

I sometimes think I am the only damn person in this world who can't hold a job down. Am I a miserable person? :(

Thank you!

@helenagwells no, never been fired, actually. Always left

My sympathies Trouble.
It sounds like your current role is not right for you.
People like you might need autonomy and a role in which they could use their strong sense of justice.

I had fairly serious problems and conflicts with some female bosses, never with men. Now that I am a boss myself I thrive. I have a fantastic team, and people tell that I am a good leader.

Self employment or work where you are given a lot of independence might work better for you. Do you want to be in charge? A free online personality questionnaire like the Myers-Briggs (MBTI) might give you some insights. It definitely helped me - here's my profile. I have a sharp tongue and want to be in charge. In the right environment, I am an excellent worker. In the wrong context and role, I am a troublemaker. I've walked away and burned bridges quite a few times. I had to switch careers to be where I am now but it was definitely worth it.

Good luck!

@frustratedfrugal thank you very much. Is it normal then that I feel frustrated, useless and miserable!

Not sure if anyone will still reply to my post but have an update.

Screwed again. Yesterday, my lovely boss lets me know that for the next 3 (!!!!) weeks I'll be covering for someone in another office about 100 miles away full time, then I'll be off for three weeks

I have no childcare, no one to walk my dog, and she didn't ask me if I want to, she just sends me there.

WWYD?:(

tell her that it is impossible for you to do

Well you tell her you can't make alternative areangements and so can't do it. Obviously she may use this as a reason to dismiss you ( does your contract state anything about working at an alternative base/ hours?)

She can't do that, unless it's in your contract.

Thing is, people here are responding to the issues in your current job. Which is fine, there are difficult bosses and companies.

However it seems like you've had many jobs, and similar issues in all of those jobs. That would suggest that the common problem is you. And no, not because you're "too pretty". Because your attitude, manner, , or work ethic is not up to scratch, and you are thinking it's the workplace, not you, so you are not changing the right things.

Have a good think. Watch how your colleagues behave. Is it "doing everything she says", or is it showing her respect and following her instructions because, you know, she's the boss. Are you willing to listen, or do you get defensive and just think "she's out to get me again".

You start by saying "no, I can't do that".

When my team were working across sites for a period of time, the extra travel was included in our working hours. I'm guessing that would mean you'd be there very little! Check your contract, this sort of thing should be covered.

Check your contract. You'll just need to tell her you can't do it. Is this a large company you work for? Does it have an HR department?

Call ACAS as soon as you can and get some proper employment advice. Tell them everything you've told us here, the most important being this recent development without adequate notice.

It really sounds like she is setting you up for a big fail, she is making it difficult for you to do your job. Then she'll turn around and say that she asked you to do x & you didn't so she has to fire you.

Do you have a union rep or are you a member? If you are get some advice and if not join up asap.

m.acas.org.uk

Presumably you said no?

She sounds like an awful bully. I would look for another job very quickly. Quit ASAP if you can afford to.

She is taking advantage of you. It's a hard lesson to learn - that someone could be such a bitch I know - but that's life.

I didn't say no, I agreed because she told me I have to. In my contract says "your work place is place x" and that's it, does not say that I might be required to work at other locations.

Thanks everyone for your input

@toomuchfaster Not really, no. I would leave at 7 to be there around 8 ish, work 9-5 then leave around 5.20 and be home for 7

@reallyanotherone thanks for your reply. I do not think I have an issue, but perhaps as other suggested they experienced I'd rather be self-employed.

Wtf you need to groe a back bone. You say "no, i am contracted 4 hours a day at this premises, it does not state in my contract i may be required to work elsewhere or more for hours. I cannot do this due to childcare issues". Is there HR in your workplace?

Sounds like you probably have a duff employer. If you work the same hours every day, no reason for your boss to get used to this idea.

Spend the time you are not there looking for a better job, but remember when interviewing not to slag off your current role.

I'm sorry you're feeling so rubbish right now. It is definitely not normal to feel useless and miserable.

Personally I'm pretty bad at this stuff but I have noticed that colleagues who are good at it just say..."that doesn't work with my other commitments" no apologies, no offers of anything else just that on repeat.

Good luck.

Good grief. She can't just send you somewhere else to work full time.

Why on earth did you agree?

What happens in 3 weeks when she tells you you can't have the time off?

Who is she employed by? Unless she is the owner there must be a higher level of can go to. You can't be told to double your hours, 100 miles away for 3 weeks with no warning! She might be hoping you refuse so she can fire you but surely that would be good grounds for unfair dismissal? Are you in a union? If not, join one!

@hippyhippyshake ohhhh God help her! I will just not turn up and not answer calls. Yay.

Will phone her on the last Friday at the other location and tell her oh, my next 3 weeks are off, bye fuck off.

Honestly she told me I can't say no and i must go. What could I say?!

OH FFS! Forgot to tell you the most important part of it.

So Friday, end of day. I pick up my coat & bag to go home. As I am walking out of the door I bump into her. And she says hey "troubleunderscoremaker I have something with you" (in my mind I was thinking yep that's right).

It was already almost 6 PM, i go in to her office and she says "OH BTW, you ll have to go 3 weeks there full time & then 3 off". She fucking said oh btw. And if she missed me on fri I would ve found out tomorrow, less than 24 hr notice.

OH BTW, you ll have to go 3 weeks there full time & then 3 off

'Thank you for your offer, however I work 4 hours a day. And after checking my contract it does not mention working away from X at any time. I hope you find someone to cover.'

Why don't you do temping until you find a role you like? This sounds utterly horrendous. Someone will get you and find a niche for you.