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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to change my birthday party (ever so slightly) after the invites have gone out

116 replies

Justalittlelemondrizzle · 01/03/2017 22:46

It's my 30th this month and I have planned a big party to mark the occasion. I created an event on Facebook and asked for people to rsvp asap due to me needing to arrange food.
I have since decided not to have any food at the party due to cost.

How do I word this on the Facebook event page so people are aware or should I not bother saying anything. Party starts at 8pm. So i'm guessing people would have already eaten anyway.

OP posts:
greenfolder · 02/03/2017 06:58

Seriously.... £300 for food is not expensive. You really dont want your party to be remembered for the wrong reasons

Iamastonished · 02/03/2017 06:59

" I always wondered why people got dressed up and went to parties to eat."

I think that is an odd view. I have only been to one [arty where there was no food except for a big bowl of peanuts, but it was a student party.

It is totally the norm to offer food at parties.

Loopytiles · 02/03/2017 07:03

Not a small change and you should let people know.

wannabestressfree · 02/03/2017 07:04

This answer clearly not the one the op was looking for......

Astoria7974 · 02/03/2017 07:04

I don't understand why people have event hall parties without food - it's really tacky. Understandable if you meet at a pub but you've hired an event hall. Make the effort even if it means cutting the free drinks.

NowtAbout · 02/03/2017 07:08

We always do bring a plate of food, everyone brings something. End up with a pile of amazing food with little cost to anyone. Maybe ask some close friends to help out?

Depends where you live about drinks, I have never had a free bar (maybe the odd free glasses of wine) in the North almost never paid at the bar in the south (for big parties and weddings)

category12 · 02/03/2017 07:13

You need food.

Proseccohoho · 02/03/2017 07:22

People will definitely expect food. £300 sounds reasonable for a buffet and I think it would be strange to have a party without food. Anyway, OP, hope it goes well and you have a great time.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 02/03/2017 07:25

You need food and that's not a bad price at all for a buffet.

If you don't provide food, it's basically just drinks which you could have done in a pub.

People will think you are tight and we're after the gifts hence the word party when it's not, its just a room.

It's not a sight change but a huge one.

LemonBreeland · 02/03/2017 07:25

As others have said cancel the prepaid drinks and provide food. It is daft to gove people drinks but not food.

Haudyerwheesht · 02/03/2017 07:25

£300 seems totally reasonable unless you're only I corn very few people in which case this is null and void anyways. How much did you think it'd be??

Give them food and not a free bar.

ClashCityRocker · 02/03/2017 07:31

I agree with transferring the drinks money on to the food.

I wouldn't eat before a party where there was food - what with travel, getting ready etc it would be too early for me - or if I did have something it would be something light to tide me over to the buffet.

Especially if you'd said you were doing food - it's one of the componements of a party, really, isn't it? It also means people are likely to bugger of early either in search of food or because they've got too pissed too quick due to lack of food.

First thing, find out if you can bring in your own food. That will keep prices down.

If not, beg borrow or steal the £300 or change venue.

toots111 · 02/03/2017 07:33

I'm thinking back to my friend's 30ths and I really don't think anyone had food at them. Just hired a room in a pub and had a few bottles of proseccos out to get the party started. At 30 aren't parties just about seeing your mates? However, as you said there would be food would be weird not to have any!

troodiedoo · 02/03/2017 07:35

I'd cut the food down. Ask what you can get for 200 or 250. You'll most likely get a lot of no shows and people pile their plate according to how much is available.

Catsize · 02/03/2017 07:41

Can you not provide food yourself, rather than the venue doing it? This is seriously bad planning and you have to deal with it. Can you eBay stuff to pay for food?

QuimReaper · 02/03/2017 07:44

OP you're having a laugh aren't you?! Not providing food is one thing but saying you will and then not doing it is completely awful! Why on actual earth would "most people have already eaten" if they're expecting to be fed? Do people routinely eat an hour before a planned meal? Confused

If you really can't scrape the £300 together you need to tell people now that there won't be any food provided, and tell them what their options are for ordering some once they arrive, if there are any.

Palegreenstars · 02/03/2017 08:10

Agree with toots111 a 30th is normally just about seeing your mates and I wouldn't expect or care about food. Just come clean on the invite and say the food was Waay to too expensive but they'll be some drinks and lots of laughs.

Butterymuffin · 02/03/2017 08:15

You can't back out on the food now. It'll look mean. Just do it yourself more cheaply or as others have said ditch some or all of the guests' paid for drinks and use that to pay for the food.

IMissGin · 02/03/2017 08:25

I'd agree that people will notice no food more so than having to pay for their own drinks. What type of venue? I'd do one drink each max and pay for buffet

daisychain01 · 02/03/2017 08:27

Don't whatever you do hold the party at home!!!

Devastation, mess, noise OMG. And it could generate a year's worth of Parking Threads on here at a stroke.

The whole point of a venue is to be able to relax, enjoy, loads of space for dancing and easier to clean up afterwards (depending on whether it's a village hall where the clearing up is down to the host).

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 02/03/2017 08:28

What can you afford for food?
Let's say for the sake of argument it's £200 - why not just ask the organisers to make food up to a value of £200.
There's bound to be guests who don't turn up, cancel at the last minute, are on diets, aren't that hungry or have eaten dinner.
If you provide some extra snacks too: a few crisps and nuts I'm sure that would be fine and no one will go hungry.

rookiemere · 02/03/2017 08:28

I differ slightly from others.

I think it's fine to provide nibbles only at an evening event - but you need to tell people in advance. I'd be really annoyed if I arrived and I hadn't eaten and there was no food and nobody had told me, but if I know in advance then I'd be absolutely fine with that.

heron98 · 02/03/2017 08:28

You need to tell them. I wouldn't eat before 8pm as that seems quite early to me, particularly if you factor in getting to the party etc.

Ifitquackslikeaduck · 02/03/2017 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nannybeach · 02/03/2017 08:34

one free drink for everyone, nibbles, ask people for contributions ie, to bring quiche etc.