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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think DD's punishment from PE teacher was draconian?

867 replies

moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 17:15

DD is in Year 10 and came home quite annoyed about a punishment she got in PE for something very minor in the first place. Her teacher made her get changed into her PE kit at lunchtime (without any tracksuit in the cold wet weather), and run laps around the football pitch for all but the last 15 minutes of the break (so she could eat), much of it whilst the boys were having football practice, who apparently found it quite funny. Is it overreacting to think this is a bit out of order? I might not have been surprised when I was at school but I can't help be a bit annoyed, seems a bit like it was intended to embarrass her and unnecessary.

OP posts:
user789653241 · 02/03/2017 17:22

But we don't know the full story. Was she told off second time for moving, or talking when she wasn't suppose to?(sit in silence?)

We have this at my ds' martial arts class, children are to sit out. They are excused after certain time, as long as they kept quiet, moving/fidgeting doesn't really matter.

SookiesSocks · 02/03/2017 17:24

OP why do you think allowences need to be made for your naughty child?

Why is the punishment now ok but the location not?

She was badly behaved. Accept it and move on.
Stop trying to find ways how a reasonable punishment can be wrong.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 02/03/2017 17:30

No Dulcimena she was immature, made a silly comment, got made to sit aside, protested briefly but did it, then sat quietly just didn't sit exactly as the teacher wanted her to so the teacher told her off again.

Irvine she was told off the second time for moving not talking, she had no-one to talk to as she was sitting there on her own.

SookiesSocks I don't think major allowances need to be made beyond having a bit more of a sensible approach to her punishment, I don't think it's totally reasonable and am explaining to people why not. She was badly behaved and has been told she made silly, immature comments by myself.

OP posts:
SookiesSocks · 02/03/2017 17:33

sensible approach to her punishment,

It was sensible. She did the excersise and gave up her time for the excersise she missed out on and for taking up the teachers time. Whats not sensible about that?
Isnt that what punishments are unpleasent?

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 02/03/2017 17:38

I mean unnecessarily having a go for just not sitting cross-legged for the uration of the lesson and insisting she did, then making her run around the specific field the boys were having football practice on. Giving her a couple of punishments and what she had to do in them isn't the problem.

OP posts:
Dulcimena · 02/03/2017 17:41

Sorry OP, it's been quite confusing to follow exactly what happened and at what point. Are you going to call the school and get the other side of the story?

Italiangreyhound · 02/03/2017 17:52

moonlightshadow I have not rea dthe whole thread so I may be mistaken but from what it sounds like this punishment was way out of line.

It's the kind of shit that puts people off PE!

"she was immature" she's a child
"made a silly comment" Like loads of the others I expect
"got made to sit aside, protested briefly but did it, then sat quietly just didn't sit exactly as the teacher wanted her to so the teacher told her off again." That sounds fair.

"...she was told off the second time for moving not talking, she had no-one to talk to as she was sitting there on her own."

lovely, removed from her classmates for a tiny thing. Teacher sounds pretty insecure.

Making he run around all lunchtime, not fair, making her run without a track suit, not fair, making her run around all lunchtime in front of the boys, unacceptable.

I would have told my dd she was quite justified in not doing it, pretend her leg hurts! I hate this kind of punishment and this kind of teaching, it is why school is so crap for so many.

If the teacher screws up (as we all do) do they run around in front of the male teachers in their PE kit (I bet not!).

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 02/03/2017 17:57

Dulcimena sorry that's my fault, I posted hurridly in the first place then got more details and found out in full about it which I now feel I know. I'm not going to contact the school specifically but was planning to speak to her form tutor anyway so will bring this up, not in an undermining the school way, just in a way that suggests I'm concerned that she behaved in such a way which warranted the punishment and to make sure she's not made immature, silly comments to other teachers I should know about (but I don't think she has).

Thanks for the post Italiangreyhound. Appreciate your support! I'd never tell her not to carry out a punishment she got herself into though, I think the teacher was entitled to punish her in the first place even if it wasn't the biggest issue (the moving when sitting, rather than stupid comments when the teacher told the class to be quiet). Understand where you're coming from but I wouldn't want my DD to think when she gets a punishment she can get out of it even if I personally think it's been ill carried out!

OP posts:
MrsGuyOfGisbo · 02/03/2017 17:57

and in fact told her the first bit of the punishment in the lesson was entirely fair.
Which implies to her that you agree the second part is unfair?
When you have only heard her version?
You are not teaching her logic any more than you are teaching her manners Sad

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 02/03/2017 18:04

MrsGuyOfGisbo no, I mean because she was complaining it was embarrassing to have to sit cross-legged in front of the class, then made to again after the teacher stopped the lesson to tell her to, I told her she shouldn't have made silly comments in the first place, and also explained the laps were to make up for her missing PE. I don't see how I'm not teaching her manners. I've made her tell me in full exactly what happened including what she did in the first place and am satisfied I have the full story.

OP posts:
ALittleMop · 02/03/2017 18:07

There's being told off for being lippy
And there's being humiliated, twice over
YANBU OP

SookiesSocks · 02/03/2017 18:09

got made to sit aside, protested briefly but did it, then sat quietly so says the lippy 14 yo Hmm

she was immature" she's a child

Shes 14 not 10 and has been in senior school long enough to know how to behave.

lovely, removed from her classmates for a tiny thing. Teacher sounds pretty insecure.

She was distrupting the class. Why should the other children suffer?

Making he run around all lunchtime, not fair, making her run without a track suit, not fair, making her run around all lunchtime in front of the boys, unacceptable.

It wasnt all lunch time. She still had time to eat.
She was running that would keep her warm plus she plays hockey on a team so i doubt she wears a tracksuit then.
In front of boys......she goes to a mixed school. Her PE lessobs include boys so i am sure they would have seen her run before.

If the teacher screws up (as we all do) do they run around in front of the male teachers in their PE kit (I bet not!).

If a teacher behaves badly and does not follow the rules they get diciplined. This girl behaved badly didnt follow the rules and was diciplined. Same thing but you cannot apply adult rules to children. Thats daft.

I would have told my dd she was quite justified in not doing it, pretend her leg hurts! I hate this kind of punishment and this kind of teaching, it is why school is so crap for so many.

Great parenting skills. Teach them rules dont matter and you dont have to face the consequences of your actions. Hmm
Schools crap when others disrupt lessons, bully, cause tension. Not because fair punishments are dealt out to those that deserve them.

BoneyBackJefferson · 02/03/2017 18:10

Gildedcage

It's a VERY long time since I was at school BUT if people were disrupting the lesson they were removed.

Yes it has been a long time since that was allowed in school.

If the teacher screws up (as we all do) do they run around in front of the male teachers in their PE kit (I bet not!).

A strawman has arrived.

SoupDragon · 02/03/2017 18:13

There is a word of difference between feeling foolish and embarrassed and being humiliated.

FrancisCrawford · 02/03/2017 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford · 02/03/2017 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SookiesSocks · 02/03/2017 18:23

Why was running laps in gym kit humiliating?

If it was humiliating because she was being pubished and others knew that then good. She may learn from it. Its not like she was asked to do it in a tu tu while flapping like a chicken.

She plays sports. She does PE with boys. Whats the issue with the laps?

Studentwife · 02/03/2017 18:24

I totally agree! As a teacher myself I know from personal experience (I've got 4 children of my own) that kids rarely give you the whole story and it's not in the teacher's interest to lie about the chain of events.
My eldest son once was told that if he didn't behave in class then the said math teacher would call me. My darling boy replied with 'Go on then!'
The teacher called, I went mental at my son for been so bloody rude, told him to apologise (which he did, the teacher called to confirm) and the result was that my son knew I would stand by the teacher and not by his poor behaviour. Must have worked, he got an A for his GCSE maths!

WhataHexIgotinto · 02/03/2017 18:28

My biggest problem with this would be your OP's lack of manners.

She was embarrassed because she was pulled up and bad behaviour that she clearly thinks is ok. Now she knows it's not.

Original poster
moonlightshadow1 · 02/03/2017 18:28

She was running laps on her own, clearly as a punishment, whilst the boys had football practice and weren't all being supervised at all times. Yes she plays sport but she's a body conscious teenage girl being made a point of (again after she was twice in the lesson even if the first was entirely her own fault) in front of a group of 15/16 year old boys. She could have been made to do laps around a vacant field.

OP posts:
SookiesSocks · 02/03/2017 18:31

But why OP?

She was being punished. What is difficult to grasp?
Why should the one being punished have allowences made?
She will remember this punishment and next time behave. Thats the point of punishment.

mahadams2 · 02/03/2017 18:33

If shes wasting the teachers time then why not waste hers. I volunteer in a school & i am shocked at how much learning time is wasted by children disrupting the lesson. When one starts talking, another does & so on. Watever the schools policy on P.e kit is, she would of been told to wear, if a tracksuit is in their policy then it should of been allowed.

EveningShadows · 02/03/2017 18:40

Italian, bet your kids are a delight to teach.

Parents constantly undermining teachers by believing everything their precious darlings tell them and telling the kids the teachers were in the wrong is one of the biggest problems with discipline in schools nowadays. Those children become unmanageable because the teacher knows they will never be supported.

I really wish you could teach for a few weeks - it would be an absolute bloody eye opener for you.

Gildedcage · 02/03/2017 18:41

For the record Boney, and in the interests of accuracy I never mentioned the PE teacher running laps himself. While it may have been a very long time ago we were never asked to run laps. If we wasted our learning time by sitting in a corridor that was our problem, we were the ones who would have missed out on the lesson. Admittedly though we did not have mobile phones. As stated previously, throughout, whilst I personally disagree with the form of punishment, what I thought was petty of the teacher was to not allow her to cover up if she had asked. It appeared to serve no purpose to not allow her to pull on her things over her things if she felt uncomfortable. Where would have been the problem? Surely the changing rooms are right next to the class she had been sitting crossed legged in? It just seems petty. Sorry but asking a 14year old to sit like this for a whole lesson just seems ridiculous, but so be it.

gardenflowergirl · 02/03/2017 18:45

As a former teacher... this kind of lippiness from your daughter would involve her distracting other students and disrupting the class. If the teacher can't teach they have to do something about it, as other students miss out. So if she was sitting at the side in the lesson as a punishment there must have been further disruption or lippiness for the punishment to be escalated. If you tell your daughter you are going to ask the teacher what happened before you complain, she might give you a few more details if she was being econical with the facts.