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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think DD's punishment from PE teacher was draconian?

867 replies

moonlightshadow1 · 01/03/2017 17:15

DD is in Year 10 and came home quite annoyed about a punishment she got in PE for something very minor in the first place. Her teacher made her get changed into her PE kit at lunchtime (without any tracksuit in the cold wet weather), and run laps around the football pitch for all but the last 15 minutes of the break (so she could eat), much of it whilst the boys were having football practice, who apparently found it quite funny. Is it overreacting to think this is a bit out of order? I might not have been surprised when I was at school but I can't help be a bit annoyed, seems a bit like it was intended to embarrass her and unnecessary.

OP posts:

Gildedcage · 02/03/2017 10:04

A schools primary role is to facilitate learning not administer punishments. Removing her from the lesson would have removed the disruption and avoided the further disruption. The 'punishment ' then would have been her own lost learning. This would not have happened in my school and it's a very long time since then...

stonecircle · 02/03/2017 10:11

Have only skimmed the thread so this may have already been said. But if you want to get to the bottom of this op, I would contact the PE teacher. In a completely non-confrontational way and say that you just want to find out how your DD is doing in his class as this recent punishment suggests to you she's misbehaving more than she's letting on. And see what he says.

There are always two sides to a story. I don't think the fact that your DD never normally gets into trouble etc is necessarily relevant. DH and I once sailed round a parents' eve basking in the glow of all the praise being heaped on our then 15 year old DS. High grades, excellent behaviour, played sport for school etc. Until we got to the PE teacher. "How's it going Mr and Mrs S?" he asked. "Extremely well," I beamed. "Well then," he said. "I'm sorry to have to burst your bubble". Turns out wonderful DS wasn't so wonderful in PE. In fact he was being a pain and hanging around with the 'bad' boys who were disrupting his lessons. I suspect the fact that he is very good at sport meant he found PE quite tame.

Perhaps this is the case with your DD?

I also don't get the humiliation of having to run in front of boys.

Vegansnake · 02/03/2017 10:16

All the posters who don't get the humiliation part...I guess you were never the fat one at school.the one who was different ,the one everyone picked on...the one with huge breasts that jiggled as you ran...i and my friends at the time were all these things,all we would of been totally mortified at being singled out to run round the the field,humiliated with the boys laughing at our,wobbly bellies ,large chest ,so yeah we would of been humiliated,but I'm sure the pe teacher would of thought rightly so,as we weren't the favourite students as we were crap at pe.

Dulcimena · 02/03/2017 10:20

Vegansnake I'm sorry you went through that. But you're right, no, I wasn't that person, and neither by the sounds of it it OP's DD.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 02/03/2017 10:22

I also don't get the humiliation of having to run in front of boys I think you've hit the nail on the head here. It's not the running in front of boys she's annoyed about - OP has already described her as 'sporty' and if you enjoy sport, then, at some point, you will have spectators. It's the punishment she's annoyed with.

Youcantstandme · 02/03/2017 10:23

There was no double punishment. First punishment: made to sit by the side for being cheeky and immature (by girl's mother's own admission)
Second punishment: for not sitting like she was told.
First punishment was sensible, OP's daughter was misbehaving and she couldn't disrupt the lesson as much sitting out. Second punishment taught her that doing what teachers say isn't optional and helped her catch up on missed PE. I think her complaining about being made to sit cross legged and having to be told again because she decided she could sit as she pleased shows she deserved to be punished and makes her seem like quite a little madam, maybe more treating her like a little kid is how she might stop misbehaving like one?

stonecircle · 02/03/2017 10:27

Vegansnake - but the op's DD is sporty!!! Perhaps the PE teacher took that into account when deciding on her punishment? Perhaps he would have chosen something different for an overweight unsporty student?

Vegansnake · 02/03/2017 10:32

Oh....I've not read the whole thread,only the first page and last page..I had visions of someoneone like me and my friends clutching her boobs as she ran in tears...if she's a sporty type,I've no advice sorry,and my dd was very quiet and respectful at school so never had a detention or anything.

Youcantstandme · 02/03/2017 10:32

Exactly I'm sure a sporty girl can handle doing a few laps at lunchtime. Which she wouldn't have had to do if she'd done as she was told in the first place or not been immature in the first place. She's embarrassed because she was seen being punished and everyone knows she was.

SookiesSocks · 02/03/2017 10:37

Vegan i am sorry that was your experience at school but I think the nit understanding the humiliation part is more to do with the fact the DD plays in a hockey team so should be used to spectators watching her run.

Vegansnake · 02/03/2017 10:38

It was 30 yrs ago when I was at school ,and my children's schools were nothing like mine.my kids (bar one school ,a long story) have always been treated well at school,and I've pleased to find schools have moved on and my kids have been happy there and treated with respect...so I think If my dd had been a very sporty type,and been cheeky ,I wouldn't of complained no ,I would of trusted the school...sorry I should of read the whole thread before commenting

SookiesSocks · 02/03/2017 10:38

Sorry Vegan i missed your update post

PuffinDodger · 02/03/2017 10:55

stonecircle Loved your description of the parents' eve "basking in the glow of praise" etc.
That wouldn't happen at dd's school as we get a report before the parents evening and they get graded for things like behaviour, homework etc. So you'd know in advance which teachers to avoid at parents' eve

eddiemairswife · 02/03/2017 11:06

Is she only lippy in PE?

Emboo19 · 02/03/2017 11:08

I'm sorry, but people are missing the fact, that it's not up to the teacher to decide on suitable punishment for individual children! So the sporty type who looks good in her pe kit and is physically capable runs laos fur back chatting, but the non sporty type who's maybe overweight doing the same does what?
If a punishment is not sutible for the whole class it's not sutible full stop!!!

And I was the sporty type, I danced and was on the netball and girls football team. I'm a slim 6/8 with boobs and a bum. Would I have liked the football team gawping at me running alone ar 14, no way!

SookiesSocks · 02/03/2017 11:14

I'm sorry, but people are missing the fact, that it's not up to the teacher to decide on suitable punishment for individual children!

Erm so who is it up to then?
The children?
Should we just allow them to pick their own punishments?

Dont be silly.

It was a PE class. Where strangly enough all children in the lesson partake in physical excersise so I really cant see your point running laps is only ok for those who look good in the PE kit

The rest of the class was not punished as only the OPs DD was the one to misbehave.

Eolian · 02/03/2017 11:17

I'm sorry, but people are missing the fact, that it's not up to the teacher to decide on suitable punishment for individual children!

Really? Who is it up to then? I'd say that choosing appropriate punishment suitable for the particular child and the particular misdemeanour should very much be up to the teacher.

Eolian · 02/03/2017 11:18

Cross-posted .

Emboo19 · 02/03/2017 11:19

I'm not being silly! It's up to the school to set behaviour expectations and punishments, and these should be the same for every child. So unless that's the expected punishment for any misbehaviour in pe class then it's not acceptable.
Sitting at the side of the class for 45 mins is an absolute waste of time and having spoken to a few high school teachers I know, and my own school experience it's poor behaviour management at best!

Eolian · 02/03/2017 11:21

A schools primary role is to facilitate learning not administer punishments.

It's pretty hard to facilitate learning if there are kids arsing about and undermining the teacher. How do you propose that teachers stop kids from misbehaving and disrupting lessons without administering punishments? Because I assure you that having a quiet chat with them and appealing to their better nature does not work in most cases.

Youcantstandme · 02/03/2017 11:21

Sitting at the side of the class for 45 mins is an absolute waste of time

The OP's daughter was wasting the teacher's and her classmates time by being immature. The teacher needed to teach the lesson so putting her at the side was the way to do that. That would have been that if she hadn't continued to fidget and not follow instructions so the teacher had to stop the lesson again

Dulcimena · 02/03/2017 11:22

It's up to the school to set behaviour expectations and punishments

Quite. So your point is...?

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 02/03/2017 11:23

So now the entire staff/governors/PTA have to have a meeting to decide and agree upon appropriate discipline when ONE CHILD ACTS UP IN CLASS?! Maybe if adults agreed to share responsibilities regarding their children's behaviour instead of all this 'My bubs, my rools' bullshit, there'd be a little less bad behaviour and bullying in schools?

SookiesSocks · 02/03/2017 11:24

The teacher made her redo the class she had missed in detention due to her bad behaviour. Just like a maths teacher would do if it had been a maths class. Would you have an issue if it was a maths class Emboo?

She was removed from the lesson for talking and being lippy. You may feel its poor behaviour management but why should the rest of the class suffer because of her poor behaviour?

SookiesSocks · 02/03/2017 11:26

My bubs, my rools'

I hate this phrase.
I find only stupid people use it. I agree its bullshit Jess

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