To think my 14-year-old DS should be able to find his shoes?

[StuntNun]

DS1 went to school fifteen minutes late with his hiking boots on because he couldn't find his school shoes. DH, I and DS2 all helped look for them but they can't be found anywhere. He came in from school yesterday wearing them and went straight up to his bedroom but we've turned it upside-down and they're not there. Is this normal behaviour for teenage boys?

Not sure about boys but I was like that as a teenager and still manage to lose important things now so it can't be that unusual.

It can be.
Teenagers' brains go through a massive rewire.

My ds is 14 tomorrow and still expects me to tie his laces I've made a rod for my own back:

14 yr olds are mainly lazy according to ds and his friends.

My DS couldn't find his school shoes last week and had to go in his trainers. It turned out that they were still at school from the sports session the night before.

Are you sure your DS come home in his shoes?

Its normal for all teens, i once lost something as a teen, i turned my bedroom upside down about 3 times looking for it but no joy

6 months later when it was a particularly cold winter and the boiler broke i put on my old dressing gown which i never normally bothered with, and lo and behold the lost item was in the bloody pocket!

Zoflora!

tell him to tie his own bloody shoes!

OP DD9 did this exact same thing a couple of weeks ago- I'm mean though and refuse to help her look as she's old enough to be responsible for her own stuff. She eventually found them under her bed.

They'll show up eventually!

Zoflorabore behold this wondrous invention No Tie Shoelacess*

Why would you bother looking for something properly if mum will do it?

Surely it's normal at any age if it's a one-off?

It was the second time this week although we managed to find them in the end on Monday.

My ds is 14 tomorrow and still expects me to tie his laces blush I've made a rod for my own back:

Assuming your son is NT and not physically disabled either, that is beyond ludicrous! FFS how old do you think he will be when/if you stop doing that for him?

We had this for years - though children are younger - so had a box in hall all shoes in box.

Still couldn't find them now they have a box for all their shoes and get reminders that shoes go in their room in their box for shoes

Drastically reduced all the I can't find my shoes when trying to walk out the door and the associated stress for me.

Yep it's normal and carries on until adulthood. Ds1 was always better at finding things but at 23 ds2 still has a problem as does dd who is 15...can never find her school tie, shoes, socks etc 😬

StuntNun those are amazing, I wonder if they might look odd on shoes though as opposed to trainers. But my ds currently has flappy shoes that drive me crazy because he won't/can't do them up so I'm ordering those now! Thank you.

OP, a "shoe place" is a great thing to have. We have a shoe rack that hangs over a door and everyone is told to put their shoes there. We haven't lost any for a while now.

Sorry StuntNun just realised you ARE the op!

DS2 once couldn't find his trainers, his old trainers or DS1's trainers. Looked everywhere, swore they weren't at school. Eventually I asked the school if I could check the boys changing rooms and what did I see as soon as I opened the door? Yep, three pairs of trainers!

Dd does have AS but is just being bloody well lazy! He manages just fine after P.E or if he's at a sleepover.

I decided to shame him ( and me of course ) to his friend who called for him for school and said friend said his mum does the same so that didn't go as planned.

I think I've just always done everything for him and I'm now realising how ridiculous it is, he's nearly 6ft.

We've had a conversation today and I've told him that dd who is 6 manages to do hers and he had the grace to look embarrassed, I've mollycoddled him for far too long.

Sorry should say ds has AS not dd

It's definitely normal for my ds. Not at home so much but he often (about once a term) forgets his shoes in school and either I have to give him a lift back to school for him to look for them, or we have to scrabble around to find some other shoes he can wear to school until he retrieves the proper ones.

I still tie my son's laces for him when he has an athletics competition so they won't come undone halfway through a race - they need to be really firmly done up. Not everyday shoes though.

StuntNun thank you! Those laces are getting ordered today! Never seen them before. My ds has fine motor skill issues and these will hopefully help us move onto lace up shoes! It's been Velcro straps all the way as he can't get to grips with lace tying.
Thank you!

Has he 'lost' them deliberately? I'd check places like the bin, top of wardrobes etc.

DS1 had them on his school shoes when he started high school and they looked fine.

We have a shoe rack although that's usually the last place I look for shoes.

I'm 37 and this is still a fairly frequent occurrence for me annoyingly.

Going to sound really thick here, but what does NT mean?

It means neurotypical, as in no special needs. Hope that helps :)