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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my 3yr old dd wear strappy, dressy up shoes?

24 replies

MeNeedSleep · 27/02/2017 20:26

She sees them in the charity shops and occasionally we get given some in a bag of clothes from friends.
They're the impractical plasticy ones and the sparkly pump types ones from next.
I don't allow her to go outside in anything except shoes/boots/sandals she can actually run about in and are suitable for the terrain/weather. She's mainly in trainers.
But she had a strop the other day as I wouldn't let her wear some next pumps to school the other day.
I'm mot against sparkly, she has some fab sparkly doc martens, it's the lack of protection/support and that they just fall off all the time! She can't walk properly in them at all!
Ai also bu for not allowing them even in the house as part of dress up?

OP posts:
Doyouwantabrew · 27/02/2017 20:29

Allow as dress up and garden play but not for walks/school etc. You have to cut her some slack over dressing up. Wink

paxillin · 27/02/2017 20:32

I'd probably allow them round the house. If she really does keep tripping up, you have a good reason to stop her wearing them again.

harderandharder2breathe · 27/02/2017 20:33

Yabu to not allow them ever, but yanbu to insist on suitable footwear for school and out playing. But there's nothing wrong with them for dressing up or pottering at home

Although I speak as an adult who is still bitter about never being allowed those plastic jelly shoes that actually came back in fashion a couple of years ago. My mum was worried I'd step on nails (in my garden/suburban street/friends gardens Hmm) and they'd go right through the bottom of the shoe. So I may be biased.

SaucyJack · 27/02/2017 20:33

Why don't you go to Clarks/Start-rite and buy some "proper" shoes with a sparkly finish?

Thebookswereherfriends · 27/02/2017 20:41

My dd is similar in that she always wants 'pretty' shoes. She can wear pretty summery shoes on dry days as long as she has tights on (during cold weather), she can wear her sparkly dress up shoes in the house, any other time she wears her 'proper' boots/shoes.

purplecollar · 27/02/2017 20:48

Ok for dressing up in the home. Zero tolerance for outside for me. Shoes need to be good for running/climbing.

CrohnicallyPregnant · 27/02/2017 20:58

YANBU to not allow her to wear them out, I insist DD (4) keeps hers for in the house and I have said she can wear them outside in the summer (this pair is ballet pump style, so she can actually walk properly in them they just don't offer any protection).

After a few tantrums initially she has accepted the rules and logic that they would be ruined in this weather!

I do let her have a say in her everyday shoes though, sports direct are good for character/sparkly trainers and boots that are cheap and practical. And I put her summer shoes away once it was clear the winter was coming, out of sight, out of mind. She usually has 3 pairs out to choose from, so currently 2 pairs of boots and one pair of trainers, in summer it might be one each of sandals, trainers and ballet pumps.

Original poster
MeNeedSleep · 27/02/2017 21:03

Okay, so I need to relax a bit in the house. I'm glad I'm not being too harsh with not allowing them outside.
I'm just worried that having them inside is a slippery slope to her wearing them outside. I'm going to have to deal with the tantrums!

Yes saucy I should take her to clarks to choose some decent sparkly ones!

chronic good idea about hiding them in winter!

OP posts:
Ericaequites · 01/03/2017 03:37

You are the mum. You can say no, and not buy sparkly shoes. I wore boys' shoes as a child, as they were better made. I had proper black patent Mary Janes or ballet flats for best.

EmeraldScorn · 01/03/2017 04:30

Are we really finding an issue with a little girl of three wanting to wear a pair of sparkly shoes? Stop it for God sake, she's three and to her sparkly things will be pretty and fascinating.

You're being seriously unreasonable and a complete killjoy, she's three, let her like what she wants to like and if that involves dressing up in the house in badly made sequinned tacky shoes, so what?

Millybingbong · 01/03/2017 04:33

I don't let mine wear them at all. Sometimes they try to use various stacking cups as high heels HmmSmile

HeadDreamer · 01/03/2017 05:17

Clarks have party shoes like
www.clarks.co.uk/p/26124497

Also take a look at Lelli Kelly.

My 5yo is more interested in sparkles than heels. She call them her party shoes.

IamFriedSpam · 01/03/2017 07:25

Of course YANBU. I don't think nursery would thank you for bringing her in in impractical shoes, they'd also be terrible for her feet if she wore them all day.

Original poster
MeNeedSleep · 01/03/2017 19:45

It's not the sparkly aspect emerald that I have issue with, it's what normally comes with sparkly shoes... heels, no support, hard plastic, no cushoining etc

OP posts:
Original poster
MeNeedSleep · 01/03/2017 19:47

Like these....

OP posts:
Original poster
MeNeedSleep · 01/03/2017 19:49

eric up until she's had her own opinions she has only ever worn boys shoes sadly as I can never find any non garish decent girls shoes/trainers.
Now she's being a bit more stubborn, so i have agreed to to sparkly shite shoes in the house only!

OP posts:
Original poster
MeNeedSleep · 01/03/2017 19:51

head I would allow her to wear them. They're just way too flimsy and not suitable for outdoor use at all. I'm relaxing about her wearing them around the house thougj Smile

OP posts:
VestalVirgin · 01/03/2017 19:58

She's 3. It is a parent's responsibility to make sure a child is safe. At age 3, she is obviously not capable of assessing the risks.

I find your policy of letting her wear them only in the house very sensible.

Cuppaoftea · 01/03/2017 20:08

YANBU. Not even in the house here due to elder child slipping on the stairs in similar shoes in the past (not seriously hurt).

My 3 year old DD has fuchsia pink, glittery, velcro fastening trainers from Clarks she calls her 'sparklies'.

Soubriquet · 01/03/2017 20:10

I had those silly shoes when I was little Grin

Dd found a pair of the other day at playgroup

She got bored with them after 5 mins because she couldn't walk in them. Too slippery

So yes let her play with them in the house but not outside

Ericaequites · 02/03/2017 02:13

I'll admit I am a preppie Laura Ashley type who loathes sparkly and bling you things, and wouldn't all such things in the house. I'd use the all purpose excuse that they are neither practical nor appropriate.

Ericaequites · 02/03/2017 02:13

Blingy things with lights or novelty features

Original poster
MeNeedSleep · 03/03/2017 20:04

I'm the same eric

cuppa we live in a bungalow, so no stairs Smile

As it is, they been in the house for only a few days now and she's bored with them, as you've said soub she can't walk in them so has given up on them! She even handed me a pair this morning saying that I need to give them back because they hurt her feet!

I'll be charity shopping them all on Monday Grin

OP posts:
Familyof3or4 · 03/03/2017 20:11

Yabu about not wearing them in the house.
DD4 wears hers in the house. Usually only briefly as they aren't very comfy!
Yanbu to only have sensible shoes outside.

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