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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So, AIBU or what

100 replies

Namechangealert123 · 25/02/2017 15:38

I have been feeling ill for a couple of days. H is not a good cook, I am a good cook so I have chosen to carry on cooking things I like in the hope I might actually want to eat something.

Yesterday I made a plum cake, shepherds pie for dinner, couldn't eat any of it.

Today I made crumpets for breakfast - couldn't face them and Chicken Laska for lunch - couldn't eat it.

H just came in from a walk and asked me if I wanted anything - no thanks.

He then sat next to me with a piece of cake and a massive portion of vanilla ice cream (the last of it). I said 'oooh I hadn't thought of ice cream, can I have some in a ramekin with a little spoon' - his response was, 'this is the last of it, I will save you some, you can have my bowl when I have finished'.

I didn't want his bowl when he had finished, I wanted a clean small ramekin with a bit of his massive serving of the last of the ice cream.

I should have asked him before he sat down apparently. He did get it under protest - I am clearly asking too much - not!

I am the one with the problem according to him, the selfish git. I said that if I related this to any of my friends/family they would agree with me - god this is so bloody petty - the completely selfish git.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechangealert123 · 25/02/2017 15:38

Namechanged so that I can show him the thread as long as it goes my way.

OP posts:
AnneEyhtMeyer · 25/02/2017 15:41

If he'd already sat down with it then I think YABU.

ScarlettFreestone · 25/02/2017 15:41

So you're ill and off your food but have continued to cook for your DH while feeling unwell?

And you asked him to stand up, walk to the kitchen and transfer a small amount from his bowl into one for you? And he said "no" knowing that you haven't wanted for days?

Nope, you're not the one that's unreasonable, not even a tiny bit.

potoftea · 25/02/2017 15:42

Sorry but I think he was very reasonable. But I know when you feel ill any little thing going against you is a big deal.

Original poster
Namechangealert123 · 25/02/2017 15:43

That is it in a nutshell Scarlett, spot on. I have continued to cook but not been able to face eating anything.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 25/02/2017 15:43

I think YABU. He'd settled down and started eating it. You sound very pissed off about it in relativity and if you are so poorly the sugar may not help. Even your title read as aggressive to me! Maybe have some rest and see if he can pop out and get some more?

Original poster
Namechangealert123 · 25/02/2017 15:45

He had not started eating it.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 25/02/2017 15:45

I think you are milking your part a bit. You chose to cook. I'm sure he could have sorted something out for himself for a few days.

Original poster
Namechangealert123 · 25/02/2017 15:46

Yes, he could cook - but he is not a good cook and the likelihood of me wanting to eat what he cooks is tiny, DC even more so. I carried on cooking in the hope I would want to eat it.

OP posts:
SenoritaViva · 25/02/2017 15:47

He offered to share it with you, that's fine. If you're off your food don't cook. Your DH can look after himself even if the crumpets won't be homemade!

pigsDOfly · 25/02/2017 15:47

You're not well, it wouldn't have hurt him to just pop to the kitchen and get you what you wanted.

But perhaps I'm a bit sensitive about this sort of thing as years ago I was ill in bed for about three days and my then H, now exh, didn't once even offer me a cup of coffee, let alone make food for me. I had to go downstairs for anything I wanted or ask the DC.

AQuietMind · 25/02/2017 15:48

H just came in from a walk and asked me if I wanted anything - no thanks.

He asked you if you wanted anything and you said no Confused

Am I missing something? If not then yes yabu.

MiddleClassProblem · 25/02/2017 15:51

But you didn't cook anything you would want to eat... and I'm sure dcs would have coped with something you just pop in the oven or something basic.

ScarlettFreestone · 25/02/2017 15:53

Namechanger

I'm really surprised at some of these responses. He's your DH, he's meant to love you and want to take care of you when you're ill.

How much effort was it to share the ice cream?

Seriously, what an arse.

Oysterbabe · 25/02/2017 15:56

I think if you're well enough to cook you're well enough to get your own ramekin if you weren't happy to use his bowl.

VimFuego101 · 25/02/2017 15:58

There's nothing g more annoying than someone wanting a bit of your food when you've sat down with it and are getting ready to eat it. He should have asked you if you wanted any though, before he dished some up for himself and used it all up.

SpreadYourHappiness · 25/02/2017 16:04

YABU. He asked you if you wanted anything, you said no. He got settled down with his food and then you decided you wanted some. He very kindly offered you some after he'd finished. If you were fussy enough to want an entirely separate bowl right at that very second, you should have got it yourself.

AQuietMind · 25/02/2017 16:04

How much effort was it to share the ice cream?

He never said he wouldn't share, He said he would save her some.

JP1985 · 25/02/2017 16:08

So he asked you if you wanted anything, you said no so he got himself some. Sat down to eat it and then you wanted some of his but didn't want his bowl? Why did you need a ramekin? I think YABU. It's not like he wasn't prepared to share.

golfbuggy · 25/02/2017 16:11

I can't see how he's being selfish either. he was happy to share - just not to get up after he'd already sat down so that you could have exactly the eating container you wanted.

diddl · 25/02/2017 16:12

YABU.

Good grief!

IamFriedSpam · 25/02/2017 16:12

I think it would have been nice for him to go to the kitchen for you but you did over react a bit.

KateDaniels2 · 25/02/2017 16:13

Wow yabu.

He asked if you wanted anything and was going to share. He just didnt want to get up.

Big deal.

happypoobum · 25/02/2017 16:14

I think your illness has turned you into an unreasonable martyr OP Grin

Never mind - get him to go to the shops and get you some more ice cream later.

cdtaylornats · 25/02/2017 16:14

I bet the OP is one of those people who don't want chips when your out then eats half of yours.

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