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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So, AIBU or what

100 replies

Namechangealert123 · 25/02/2017 15:38

I have been feeling ill for a couple of days. H is not a good cook, I am a good cook so I have chosen to carry on cooking things I like in the hope I might actually want to eat something.

Yesterday I made a plum cake, shepherds pie for dinner, couldn't eat any of it.

Today I made crumpets for breakfast - couldn't face them and Chicken Laska for lunch - couldn't eat it.

H just came in from a walk and asked me if I wanted anything - no thanks.

He then sat next to me with a piece of cake and a massive portion of vanilla ice cream (the last of it). I said 'oooh I hadn't thought of ice cream, can I have some in a ramekin with a little spoon' - his response was, 'this is the last of it, I will save you some, you can have my bowl when I have finished'.

I didn't want his bowl when he had finished, I wanted a clean small ramekin with a bit of his massive serving of the last of the ice cream.

I should have asked him before he sat down apparently. He did get it under protest - I am clearly asking too much - not!

I am the one with the problem according to him, the selfish git. I said that if I related this to any of my friends/family they would agree with me - god this is so bloody petty - the completely selfish git.

OP posts:
Herdingcows · 25/02/2017 16:15

I'm not even sure what a ramekin is Confused

GnomeDePlume · 25/02/2017 16:17

You were offered food, said no then decided you wanted some of his

If that is a fair summary then YABU

Imamouseduh · 25/02/2017 16:18

YABU

AQuietMind · 25/02/2017 16:20

I think it would have been nice for him to go to the kitchen for you but you did over react a bit.

He did go to the kitchen for her.

So @Namechangealert123 will you be showing your DH this thread? Grin

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 25/02/2017 16:21

You are being a total child Blush

You've been cooking you all things you like, in case you fancy eating them. You haven't fancied eating them. (And that sounds stupid anyway)

Your DH gets himself something he wants to eat and you suddenly overcome your illness and disinterest in food and not only want some of it, but after him asking if you wanted something and you saying no, you then request he goes and gets you a little dish because sharing obviously isn't good enough for a princess.

Leave the poor guy alone.

CurlyCallie · 25/02/2017 16:21

YANBU... I think he was very unsympathetic with you feeling ill, if you were feeling fine and this had nothing to do with you being poorly I'd say you were being a little petty (that's the kind of thing I'd do myself lol) but no, in a nutshell, not a bit unreasonable. It wouldn't have taken 2 minutes for him to put some in a little bowl for you to try

Dolallytats · 25/02/2017 16:24

YABU. He asked if you wanted anything-you said no. You decided you wanted some of the ice cream he had got for himself- he offered to save you some. You didn't want that you wanted a 'ramekin and little spoon' which is laughably weird!!! Why a ramekin and little spoon??

PositivePeggyNans · 25/02/2017 16:24

OO sorry OP I have to say YABU in the nicest poss way.He had offered you something and you said no, but then when you seen his you wanted it

I hate it when my husband does this. he gets told to fk off lol

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 25/02/2017 16:25

YABU, he asked if you wanted anything -you said no then proceeded to want what he had got for himself. He actually shared it with you which is more than I would have done with cake & ice cream tbf

ThatsPlenty · 25/02/2017 16:25

YABU - You didn't have to cook when you felt so ill.

melj1213 · 25/02/2017 16:35

YABU - if you're well enough to cook just in case you fancy it, then you're well enough to get up and get your own ramekin to take the bit that he was willing to share from his bowl!

You didn't want anything, until it was in his bowl, he is not BU to be pissed off that you wanted him to get up and get you a seperate bowl when he asked if you wanted anything before he made it and then compromised on saving some for you ... if neither of those was acceptable to you, tough.

youwouldthink · 25/02/2017 16:36

YABU...and playing the martyr!

harderandharder2breathe · 25/02/2017 16:36

Yabu

You chose to cook when you weren't well. He asked if you wanted anything and you said no. He had sat down and was ready to eat, you wanted his food. He was prepared to share, but you insisted he get up and separate you some immediately rather than him save you some. Even though you've been well enough to cook so could've just gone and got your own ramekin.

RedAndYellowPeppers · 25/02/2017 16:39

YANBU
You have been ill, he should have been happy to make an effort for you this time, even if it was annoying etc etc.
Because he is supposed to live you and care for you.

Also he never actually proposed some to you anyway, which was rude in the first place!!
The proper way would have been for him to prepare himself the bowl and ask you if you wanted some.

picklemepopcorn · 25/02/2017 16:40

I'm with you, OP. It's hard to find something you want to eat when you've been ill. He was finishing off the ice cream and you asked him to put some in a dish for you. Sounds ok to me. I wouldn't want it after it had sat and started to melt and full of cake crumbs, either. Just a little dish of cold ice cream.

Next time you're ill, ask him to go to the shops and get some more, it will be easier by the sound of it!

NapQueen · 25/02/2017 16:41

If you managed to cook all that food, then you really cant be that ill. Stop doing stuff for other people and rest if you are that bad.

OnionKnight · 25/02/2017 16:44

*You are being a total child blush

You've been cooking you all things you like, in case you fancy eating them. You haven't fancied eating them. (And that sounds stupid anyway)

Your DH gets himself something he wants to eat and you suddenly overcome your illness and disinterest in food and not only want some of it, but after him asking if you wanted something and you saying no, you then request he goes and gets you a little dish because sharing obviously isn't good enough for a princess.

Leave the poor guy alone.*

This.

FairNotFair · 25/02/2017 16:44

I would say YANBU. I would have thought he'd be pleased that you'd found something you actually felt like eating.

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 25/02/2017 16:47

People who do you unasked for favours then demand payment are really annoying.

diddl · 25/02/2017 16:53

So he did actually get them for you & he's still a selfish git?

I think that if using his bowl & spoon weren't what you wanted to do then you should have got the ramekin & little spoon yourself.

321zerobaby · 25/02/2017 16:54

Yanbu. He should have gladly given you anything you asked for, he sounds a bit selfish.

OnionKnight · 25/02/2017 16:57

Yanbu. He should have gladly given you anything you asked for, he sounds a bit selfish.

Learn to read, he did.

MiddleClassProblem · 25/02/2017 16:57

PAQ totally appropriate name for that totally appropriate post Grin

MadamePomfrey · 25/02/2017 16:58

Sorry I'm with him it sounds like you have chosen to carry on cooking for reasons I completely get but you can't really hold that against him. He offered to get you something and agreed to save you some ice cream when you said that's what you fancied. I don't get why it had to be in a ramekin to be appealing and I don't think it's unreasonable especially as he did get up. I do agree with you though that it all sounds very petty! When you boil it right down story is you wanted ice cream and your husband got it for you!!

Nofunkingworriesmate · 25/02/2017 17:00

I would have gotten up and fetched my oh a ramekin and shared if my wife was REALLY sick, not sick I'd begrudgingly share but do what you OH suggested
Also how sick can you really be if you are cooking bloody plum pies?. Wtf !!