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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

So, AIBU or what

100 replies

Namechangealert123 · 25/02/2017 15:38

I have been feeling ill for a couple of days. H is not a good cook, I am a good cook so I have chosen to carry on cooking things I like in the hope I might actually want to eat something.

Yesterday I made a plum cake, shepherds pie for dinner, couldn't eat any of it.

Today I made crumpets for breakfast - couldn't face them and Chicken Laska for lunch - couldn't eat it.

H just came in from a walk and asked me if I wanted anything - no thanks.

He then sat next to me with a piece of cake and a massive portion of vanilla ice cream (the last of it). I said 'oooh I hadn't thought of ice cream, can I have some in a ramekin with a little spoon' - his response was, 'this is the last of it, I will save you some, you can have my bowl when I have finished'.

I didn't want his bowl when he had finished, I wanted a clean small ramekin with a bit of his massive serving of the last of the ice cream.

I should have asked him before he sat down apparently. He did get it under protest - I am clearly asking too much - not!

I am the one with the problem according to him, the selfish git. I said that if I related this to any of my friends/family they would agree with me - god this is so bloody petty - the completely selfish git.

OP posts:

321zerobaby · 25/02/2017 17:02

@onionknight, I did rtft, thankyou. He got it, but not gladly.

diddl · 25/02/2017 17:06

Perhaps he ought to get some cooking practice in though, so that you don't have to feel the need to carry on when ill.

gingertigercat · 25/02/2017 17:07

Hahaha I can't believe how genuinely annoyed you are about this OP.

You come across as very high maintenance... maybe it's just cause you are poorly but cut him some slack!

diddl · 25/02/2017 17:08

rogue "have to" there!

Frillyhorseyknickers · 25/02/2017 17:09

Of course you're being unreasonable.

He asked you whether you wanted something, sat down with his own food and then agreed to share his when you changed your mind, and you're being a princess asking him to decant it into something else. Presumably you've shared more intimate things than ice cream if you've got a DC together?

I think you're trying to be a martyr. Great- you're still cooking when you're ill, I'm fairly sure you're not in the minority? You sound hard work.

OnionKnight · 25/02/2017 17:10

@onionknight, I did rtft, thankyou. He got it, but not gladly.

Why the hell should he have gotten it gladly?

The OP is choosing to cook, although I'm a bit WTF at the plum cake when she's 'sick'

HappyFlappy · 25/02/2017 17:11

Namechanged so that I can show him the thread as long as it goes my way.

You, my darling, are a woman after my own heart and probably the most honest person on MumsNet.

321zerobaby · 25/02/2017 17:14

Why? Because he loves and cares for her perhaps and give that she obviously cares for him by cooking even though she is ill? I guess I am thinking about what my own dh would do though.

MiddleClassProblem · 25/02/2017 17:18

she obviously cares for him by cooking even though she is ill she was cooking because she doesn't like his cooking and cooking things she thought she might want to eat

diddl · 25/02/2017 17:21

He got in from a walk, asked if Op would like something-no.

Then when he sat down with something, Op decided she wanted some of it-which imo is bloody annoying, so he said taht he would save her some.

But oh no, Op wanted her own bowl & spoon fetching-which he did.

Although not before observing that he wished she'd asked before he'd sat down.

Wtf did he do wrong?

HappyFlappy · 25/02/2017 17:23

He never said he wouldn't share, He said he would save her some

Why should OP have to wait until he has finished his gargantuanportion before eating his leftovers?

My DH would have asked me if I fancied ice cream before he put the whole effing carton portion into his bowl.

Even if I said "No thanks" and then changed my mind when I saw it, he would have got a bowl and shared it out straight away. NO WAY would he have sat there and scoffed it while I longed for a cool refreshing mouthful, and then thrown me his scraps!

I think it's disgusting the way he has behaved - selfish git!

BlisseyMon · 25/02/2017 17:23

Sorry but it's another YABU. I do understand the not wanting anything until you see someone else eating it though. 😂 My DH offered me a coffee earlier and I said I didn't want one but then when I could smell the lovely coffee beans I changed my mind. I did a serious bit of grovelling / flattering etc though. ☕️

I think you should show you DH the thread and have a good laugh about it.

Hope you feel better soon.

HappyFlappy · 25/02/2017 17:24

He never said he wouldn't share, He said he would save her some

Why should OP have to wait until he has finished his gargantuanportion before eating his leftovers?

My DH would have asked me if I fancied ice cream before he put the whole effing carton portion into his bowl.

I think it's disgusting the way he has behaved - selfish git!

ItWentInMyEye · 25/02/2017 17:25

Agree with others, YABU and a martyr. You've been cooking yes, but things you might want to eat. You don't mention if the other people you're cooking for would like it.

Sprink · 25/02/2017 17:26

YANBU for wanting to be taken care of by your husband when you're feeling ill.

YABU for specifying a ramekin for your ice cream.

YABBU (you are both being unreasonable) for not realising the perfect solution might have been for him to eat his ice cream and quickly head to the shop for more. (Unless you live in the sticks, in which case it might not be as easy.)

HappyFlappy · 25/02/2017 17:26

he was happy to share - just not to get up after he'd already sat down

FFS!

MiddleClassProblem · 25/02/2017 17:29

You know when you read a thread and if the genders were reversed...

Trainspotting1984 · 25/02/2017 17:31

OP you're sounding like a martyr- you're poorly but cooking up a plum cake? C'mon. What poorly person does that?

HappyFlappy · 25/02/2017 17:32

OP is unwell.

She has dragged herself to the kitchen to provide food for the family even though she has little appetite herself.

She refused ice cream then changed her mind. (Which of us can say, hand on heart, that we have never said "No thanks" and then thought "I would kill for that baked potato" to whatever?)

She wants a bit of cosseting and reassurance that she is loved and valued and is not just an unpaid servant in the house.

It wouldn't have killed him to shift his selfish arse fetch a ramekins and a little spoon (yes - the specifics are important) and give her a portion of the ice cream and make her feel cherished and loved.

He is a prat.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 25/02/2017 17:34

OP have you name changed again to Happyflappy...?

OnionKnight · 25/02/2017 17:35

*She has dragged herself to the kitchen to provide food for the family even though she has little appetite herself.

She refused ice cream then changed her mind. (Which of us can say, hand on heart, that we have never said "No thanks" and then thought "I would kill for that baked potato" to whatever?)

She wants a bit of cosseting and reassurance that she is loved and valued and is not just an unpaid servant in the house.

He is a prat.*

She's dragged herself to the kitchen, where are you getting that from?

OnionKnight · 25/02/2017 17:36

And nobody with no appetite cooks a fucking plum cake.

HappyFlappy · 25/02/2017 17:43

Disagree.

Many women do things for other people when they are on their last legs, never mind unwell!

I think that if her DG had shown a bit of consideration it would have made a big difference.

And no - I'm not the OP in a different hat, but I admit that that is how I would feel in similar circumstances.

Frillyhorseyknickers · 25/02/2017 17:44

HappyFlappy you sound like a fucking nightmare, your DH deserves a medal.

It is not unreasonable for DH to finish the ice cream when she specified she didn't want anything, he's not Mystic fucking Meg.

KateDaniels2 · 25/02/2017 17:44

Many women do things for other people when they are on their last legs, never mind unwell!

She made the plum cake because she thought she might want to eat it. Not anyone else.

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