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AIBU?

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Original poster

Strangest phone call from school

158 replies

Dorisswept · 25/02/2017 09:24

It is the last weekend of half term here and I have just received a phone call from the headmaster of ds(17) school that 2 members of staff have been suspended pending investigation, after members of the public reported comments they allegedly made concerning ds
.no more detail than that.I don't know what to think.do I tell Dc? The last thing he needs is this with his a level exams coming up. I cannot begin to imagine what kind of comment ,who made it, who reported it, and how given it is half term?

OP posts:

GirlElephant · 25/02/2017 10:49

I would want to know more before speaking to DS.

Donthate · 25/02/2017 10:53

I would tell Ds. Imagine if he finds out another way and finds out you knew

ShelaghTurner · 25/02/2017 10:53

Not a teacher but we lost a TA overnight last year for getting a bit lairy about the school on social media. Nothing illegal but unprofessional.

OurBlanche · 25/02/2017 11:08

Suspension can happen for being unprofessional. So no laws need to have been broken.

As I am tired of saying: Safeguarding is there to protect teachers, too. The Head may not have details, may have acted because of allegations... which is following procedure.

If, after many explanations here, you still don't understand why the Head can't just tell OP everything that is happening, think it through or do some homework... 2 key words are all you need : Safeguarding Confidentiality

manicinsomniac · 25/02/2017 11:09

Agree that the head probably can't say any more but also get how frustrating and frightening it must be for you.

Don't answer these questions on the thread but, to help you get an idea of what it might be about:
Does your son have any additional needs?
Is he gay, bi or transgender?
Does he have a disability?
Does he have any strong or controversial political views?
How does he behave at school?
Is he a popular child?

If none of those common reasons for saying nasty things abut people apply then only then would I be worried as oppose to angry, I think.

geordiedench · 25/02/2017 11:09

Wow, Shelagh - that sounds harsh. A bit lairy about the school generally is pretty different to two staff members improperly discussing an individual pupil on social media (if that's what it is.)

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 25/02/2017 11:09

If the Head is 'not reachable try to contact the Chair of Governors.
It is outrageous to give you so little info to leave you and potentially your Son to worry about this over the weekend.
All those who whine 'safeguarding' are using a fig leaf that people use to weasel out of anything difficult.
The Head can inform you of the nature of the incident so that you can reassure you son before he hears wild speculation and gossip form his friends - maybe he already has {sad]

FrenchLavender · 25/02/2017 11:10

What on earth was the point of the head telling you that something has happened/been said that indirectly involves your son, if he's not in a position to say what it is and your son doesn't know anything about it?

If you are not likely to find out imminently via gossip then I don't understand what is to be gained from him telling you about it at all.

OurBlanche · 25/02/2017 11:12

Ye gods! I give in!

MrsGuy I almost hope that one day you or yours stands in need of someone who understands Safeguarding. Then you would understand why that fig leaf is much needed!

OurBlanche · 25/02/2017 11:13

A prime example: Christopher Jefferies!

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 25/02/2017 11:17

Are you sure it was the HT who phoned you?

This sounds so odd. Was it definitely him? Is there no way it could have been one of DS' mates winding him up?

Sunnysky2016 · 25/02/2017 11:26

When there is a safeguarding issue, and an investigation started, the head will not be allowed to provide you with further details at the moment. That is how a safeguarding protocol works. You will be provided with further details as and when it is appropriate during the investigation.

I can imagine you are very upset and worried at the moment, as any of us in the same situation would be. I would tell you son now, how much you know, as he may be called in and spoken too during the investigation.

BoneyBackJefferson · 25/02/2017 11:31

MrsGuyOfGisbo

Even as the resident anti-teaching profession teacher, you seem to know a remarkably small amount about safe guarding, or is this another area that you were able to negotiate out of your job?

Patchouli666 · 25/02/2017 11:37

Contact the head and say you want to have a meeting today. Mention that you will involve OFSTED if necessary. And ask for a copy of the schools policies and procedures so you know how organised they are / how they should be dealing with this stuff.

hesterton · 25/02/2017 11:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alice212 · 25/02/2017 11:41

That's awful they won't tell you
It will be to sort out their legal side first
At my school it would have been teachers and pupils drinking together, taking drugs together ir bumping into each other while collecting from the same dealer.
Unsurprisingly in the last case it was mutually agreed by all parties, parents included, to just keep quiet!

Jaxhog · 25/02/2017 11:43

Presumably it will be obvious which teachers have been suspended, as they won't be there at school. There is likely to be at least some speculation as to why.

Whether you tell your DS depends on what his reaction is likely to be. If he's not good at keeping information to himself, he might be tempted to tell others why the teachers were suspended, opening a major can of worms. If he's reasonably mature and sensible, I'd be inclined to tell him, and assure him you'll keep him as informed as you are. It might also be worth talking again to the Headmaster and getting his advice on this.

MsJolly · 25/02/2017 11:43

I would talk to DS about it-and tell him your knowledge is limited but he deserves to know, and he is 17 not 7 so needs a heads up before he goes in on Monday and before he spots anything/is messaged by another party

You're clearly not going to get much more info over the weekend but I would go in with DS on Monday and ask to see the Head and go from there

Safeguarding is as much for the teachers as for the kids and confidentiality is important here.

KateAdiesEarrings · 25/02/2017 11:49

I wouldn't send my DC into school on Monday until I knew how the school planned to support him.

OurBlanche · 25/02/2017 11:56

Boney thanks... I knew there was something I hadn't quite remembered about that poster

OliviaStabler · 25/02/2017 11:57

Can you be certain it was the Headmaster who called you?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 25/02/2017 11:59

So sorry you have been worried like this. The good thing is that he is 17, not 7, so it's unlikely to be anything truly horrible.

I would definitely talk to DS, again he's 17 not 7 - he has a right to know. He has a right to hear it from you not via social bloody media or when he walks into school on Monday. He might be able to shed some light on it.

It's the teachers that are (rightly or wrongly) in bother, not DS, and at his age (and if he seems ok) it's highly unlikely to be abuse etc. If he was younger I'd be going out of my mind with so little information, but he's not, so try not to worry too much 💐

OurBlanche · 25/02/2017 12:00

I wouldn't send my DC into school on Monday until I knew how the school planned to support him.

He is 17.
It is the run up to his exams.
He has done nothing, so need not hide.
He may not need any support, see above.
Taking such action just highlights that there is a Big Bad Something going on. Which OP doesn't yet know.

Overreactions won't help. Acting like adults, staying calm, arranging channels of communication and letting people get on with their jobs, rather than demanding their attention, is the best course of action!

ScrapThatThen · 25/02/2017 12:20

Yes, it might be another students parent that has reported it, and if on social media then others might know. However, if it is something horrible then it might be a bit of a blow.

Serin · 25/02/2017 12:21

I wouldn't tell your son at this stage, there is no evidence at all that this is social media related or is known to a wider audience. It could be something as simple as two members of staff chatting in a pub or at a party and saying "Doris's son" is the brightest kid i've ever taught/ A bit of a bully or whatever. Still absolutely inappropriate but being dealt with by the head in the proper way.

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