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AIBU?

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Original poster

Strangest phone call from school

158 replies

Dorisswept · 25/02/2017 09:24

It is the last weekend of half term here and I have just received a phone call from the headmaster of ds(17) school that 2 members of staff have been suspended pending investigation, after members of the public reported comments they allegedly made concerning ds
.no more detail than that.I don't know what to think.do I tell Dc? The last thing he needs is this with his a level exams coming up. I cannot begin to imagine what kind of comment ,who made it, who reported it, and how given it is half term?

OP posts:

Wdigin2this · 25/02/2017 10:23

Excuse me...the head has no right to say, he can give no further details!
If your DS has been the subject of inappropriate conversation between members of staff, you have every right to know what it was...exactly.
I think I'd ring the governing body, and insist on a meeting, so you know what you're dealing with! But in the meantime, don't discuss it with your DS, unless of course he approaches you about whatever it is!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 25/02/2017 10:25

I don't really like the speculation about what it might have been but it is entirely possible the comments weren't slagging him off but were inappropriate in other ways. It may have even been too gossipy teachers getting a bit lairy on a night out and being overheard saying something that was taken the wrong way or was genuinely inappropriate.

marvelmummy13 · 25/02/2017 10:27

Could you not sit down with DS have a little chat about things and then slide in and ask him how he's been at school and if he's been having any issues. If he wants to discuss anything that way you could find out if he knows anything but if he doesn't he either doesn't want to talk about it or he doesn't know . either way then i would be contacting the school for a meeting

noblegiraffe · 25/02/2017 10:27

Of course the head can't give details of a subject that is part of an ongoing investigation into staff members and might turn out to be bollocks.

If it's on social media your DS won't necessarily hear about it, because it's on teachers' social media, not students, and the two shouldn't mix. Teachers are allow advised to make social media accounts private, so it could be that whatever was said was never in the public domain.

Atlantis123 · 25/02/2017 10:30

I would say definitely tell your son. He might already know about the comments but not be aware that there is consequences for the teachers involved.

I Maroon's guess is the most likely.

ActuallyThatsSUPREMECommander · 25/02/2017 10:31

MovingOnUp's questions are brilliant. If it's something like Maroon's guess then it's very possible that DS and his friends might never hear anything. It could be a comment made in a private or anonymous group which one of the readers thought went beyond the line - you see it quite frequently on MN that a teacher or HCP posts rudely and gets smacked down for their inappropriate way of talking about their charges. If the complainants happened to be able to work out the poster and child in question then they could certainly report but everybody else would be oblivious, and it would be better to keep it that way.

OurBlanche · 25/02/2017 10:31

Excuse me...the head has no right to say, he can give no further details!

Well, there goes Safeguarding!

Ridiculous!

dowhatnow · 25/02/2017 10:31

The head can and should, answer movingons questions without compromising confidentiality.

Shockers · 25/02/2017 10:33

If it's social media, they may not have said anything derogatory about your son, but if he's identifiable in their posts/discussion, then it's very serious. It could be something such as, X is going to get A* for sure, but it's just not allowed and would be reported by anyone who knew that.

WhisperedLoudest · 25/02/2017 10:33

I don't understand why people are saying the head "can't" give details?

Sure he doesn't want to and is potentially concerned that there may be adverse consequences if the allegation proves to be untrue but there is nothing prohibiting him from informing you in simple terms what the allegation is

CoffeeDiamonds · 25/02/2017 10:34

Head teacher here.
Your DS's head will have done as much as he is able to do at the moment without compromising the investigation.

He will not have called you in for a meeting because of the timing - it's a Saturday morning and he may well live many miles away from the school. He will be following lengthy guidelines from HR.

For those of you advising the OP to go and demand more information, he can't give it.
It sounds like he is taking the situation very seriously (believe me, he will have spent hours of his break getting this far), he's not letting it go, whatever it is. Good man!

I admire that he's not brushing it under the carpet. It's actually a very difficult position to be in (not trying to get the violins out! We're paid to do it! But it is very very hard) but he's sorting it.

My advice would be to keep the lines of communication open with him; understand his position and don't demand info; ask him for advice on what to tell DS; support him in following it through as far as it can go.

Suspending staff is a logistical nightmare in terms of keeping a school running. So he had made his own life more difficult to see this through. That means he is on your side.

OurBlanche · 25/02/2017 10:35

There are a coupe of movingons questions that might not be immediately answerable... but it is likely that, at the outcome, OP will have answers to all of them and more. It is possible that the Head is currently doing nothing other than putting all procedures in place, reporting etc. Details will follow as the procedures progress.

chatnanny · 25/02/2017 10:36

Something similar happened MANY years ago at my school - pre-internet. Some female 6th formers were in the pub by school (just before A levels I think so some were 18) but it was school lunch break,
so against the rules. Some of the younger teachers drank in there and a member of the public reported staff drinking with pupils. The parents were informed and there was an investigation and rapped knuckles but no more - less politically correct times. Just thought something similar might fit the present situation. Poor you, how horrible to have this hanging over you. I would have to ask my DS, you don't want him to hear it elsewhere and he may be eaten up inside by worrying if he knows something. Your relationship with him is of primary importance in what you're about to face whatever it is! Good luck.

OurBlanche · 25/02/2017 10:37

Whispered it is called being sensible and, as CoffeeDiamonds has outlined, is all that can be done.

Look up Safeguarding and the issues of confidentiality that all schools must follow.

Creampastry · 25/02/2017 10:37

Contact the police and ask them?

OurBlanche · 25/02/2017 10:39

Contact the police and ask them? Why?

Have you read something that suggests the law has been broken?

geordiedench · 25/02/2017 10:43

Because Blanche, you don't usually suspend two members of staff for behaving legally?

SuperPug · 25/02/2017 10:43

I think they've put you in an awful position here tbh. I haven't come across this before in any school I've taught in.
I'm also guessing it was something put on social media. I think you have a right to see it before you speak to your son. Otherwise you are dealing with an "unknown quantity."
Possibly speak to governors etc.? Headteacher? I would insist on seeing them Monday morning.

Clearoutre · 25/02/2017 10:43

Given the number of threads on here about schools being slow/ineffective to properly address serious issues it's encouraging that staff are being seriously dealt with.

WhisperedLoudest · 25/02/2017 10:43

ourblanche where is the safeguarding issue?!

How is possibly in the OPs child's best interest that they allegations that relate to him are not disclosed when it is extremely likely that a wider audience is aware?

chantico · 25/02/2017 10:44

If it's for real, then although some details may need to be withheld, OP should still be properly informed about the nature of the incident because her DS is a directly affected party.

Suspending two teachers is a major incident.

The head may or may not be reachable over the weekend. But I'd give it a damned good try.

WhisperedLoudest · 25/02/2017 10:45

It's not being "sensible" at all - its arse covering to protect the school and has no bearing on the welfare of the child.

Meloncoley2 · 25/02/2017 10:45

It's a difficult call about telling DS, as without further information it may bother him and make him stressed, without being able to sort out what it's about. And it may not be that anything bad has been said about him, but even the fact that the conversation made him identifiable would be unprofessional for the teacher.

BoneyBackJefferson · 25/02/2017 10:46

geordiedench

Being as teachers can get suspended for putting things on facebook. It may not be something illegal.

SuperFlyHigh · 25/02/2017 10:48

Geordie I totally agree with you. Id speak to the head again to see what is being done and ask if there is police involvement.

But for the head just ring on a Saturday morning and drip feed (well this is drip feeding to me), surely if this has to take up the head's whole Saturday to sort out or make more clear it's better than me as a parent tearing my hair out with worry.

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