To think modern life makes us miserable and unhealthy

[thedcbrokemybank]

I am currently doing an Msc. My research at the moment is on depression and there is evidence that environmental stressors in life are contributing to increase incidence of depression which is the biggest cause of burden in high income countries.
There is also evidence to suggest that modern lifestyles Inc diet, technology, increases in sedentarism etc also lead to us being more physically unhealthy and dissatisfied with our lives.
I am a parent and try and give my dc opportunities in life by feeding them a healthy diet, limiting screen time and promoting exercise but I find I am often up against barriers e.g my ds gets called the health police because he doesn't take large bags of sweets etc to activities, he finds he is somewhat socially isolated because I limit his opportunity to play computer games.
AIBU just to up and leave and move us all to a simpler environment, away from a society where measures of success in life are judged on material wealth?

notangelina, yes I agree modern life is very fast. Everything about it, from things being available at the press of a button, to tv programmes, which all seem so fast paved with rapidly changing images, zappy camera angles etc. And noisy. Everywhere seems to have music, chat, busy, busy stuff.

There seems to be not much "time to stand and stare" in modern life.

Modern life is wonderful. I love technology my kids are never bored I was always bored as a child. I am 50 and training for a new career, working full time and going to gyrate with my mates at the dream boys show next month and going to concerts in a few weeks. My mum at 50 was going part time with no drive as she considered herself old and worn out and my gran at 50 had a perm, no teeth and only went to Bingo! People moan constantly about screens I have a 14 year who is on his computer from 3.30 to 10pm with hourly 15 minute breaks on his trampoline and a bit of time for dinner. He is so educated , plays games with people all over the globe and whenever we travel has masses of knowledge of Krakow, Budapest etc all from the internet. He can also start a fire, make a shelter and many other things so it does not hamper him in anyway. We have never had it so good.

Not the only reason by a long shot but I do think it's a big factor

I think modern life is great! There is a downside: the human body (and mind) is not (yet) designed for the 24 hour lifestyle we often find ourselves in.
I think MH issues are a) easier diagnosed due to advances in medicine and a better understanding of issues around MH. (I came once across a book title "the mad woman in the attic" exploring the stigma of "madness" in Victorian times).
b) a complex interaction between genes and environment. There are a several accounts of how changes to a person's environment can ease symptoms of depression.
c) the media with advertising and information overload (like daily news channels) encourage and feed of the human fear and other emotions associated with it, which can lead to depression in the long run.
d) humans are programmed to conserve & store energy... once again, our bodies have not adjusted to the regular availability of food that is easily digested.

flowers I fear Trump too or more what he represents.
We do have a good life but we are constantly busy (4 dc) and a large part of this is fear that the dc will miss out if we don't provide them with opportunities and stimulus. We live in an area which is quite high on the deprivation index and has significant issues with anti-social behaviour. I see the problems here and I want to make sure our dc know that the world is their oyster. That comes at a cost though - both financially and in terms of time and I worry that we have our priorities wrong.
Ideally we would live somewhere with a temperate climate where we could have some land to be self sufficient. Somewhere where the education system doesn't test my six year old and and make him feel a failure (and me because I refuse to practice tests with him) because he is not at the expected standard despite the fact he is a curious little boy who is developing at his own speed and with a real interest in certain subjects. Somewhere we can enjoy our activities and pursuits without it being one big competition. Not sure that place exists though!

Modern life is rubbish!

Have you read about time-space compression OP. It might be a really helpful angle for you.

FakeNewName - you sound horribly stressed.
But your granny's generation didn't have it simpler necessarily. My mum had no dishwasher, no online grocery delivery, no car. She lugged heavy shopping bags home from the market, prepped everthing by hand. For a long time she had no fridge or washing machine either, so had to lug clothes to the laundrette.
She often cried because we always had severe money worries but my tosser of a father wouldn't 'let' her have a job because he was The Big Provider, even though she had a good degree.
School children got beaten with belts and canes sometimes for being naughty and sometimes because their teachers were sadists and adult word was law. If you came from a home that didn't read books, you knew nothing. Ignorance was rife. There was no access to the wider world. If you had nothing in common with the women in your street you got ousted. No MN to connect on.

OP, why does it have to be one extreme or the other. Isn't a balance better? I just dragged one teen for a hill walk after school before sunset while the other was at sports practise. After we eat they'll entertain themselves on screens and then do some music practise. A bit of both.

thedcbrokemybank

I emagine the place you are looking fore is somewhere like Tanana or Rampart in Alaska!

I think modern life provides people with more choices and more opportunities and information is more easily available

Mellowfartfulness - I remember that TV programme

There are some other TV programmes where people have lived exactly as people would have lived like a social experiment eg Victorian times or 1920s, 30s, 40s, 50,s 60,s 70,s 80,s

Technology - Has its good and bad points
Negative - How would you feel if your job was replaced by new technology and you were made jobless ?
Positive - Self education, keeping in touch with family, forums and information globally instantly

Diet - More choice
In the past people ate more produce that was grown locally and in season

Social - I think in the past families lived closer together. I think modern life provides more opportunities to work and travel

I have a much better life than my previous generations

My Gran was one of 10+ children , some sadly did not survive (pre NHS)
Heard stories of leaving school at 14, food and clothes rations
No electricity, coal fires, no central heating in the early years
Walked, cycled or used public transport
Grew veg on allotment
Never traveled abroad
However, I do not think that she would have ever described her life as unhappy and she lived until she was in her 90s and experienced alot of changes

My life has taken a different path and I would not describe my life as unhappy.
I also think we should take pleasure in the simple things in life

Re trotting out screen time and games etc. I have totally changed my mind on this. Not being particularly technical and only playing pac man as child I was very much against it all. I held off a tablet, xbox etc until oldest dd was 9 and other hobbies established eg voracious reader. But now we have them I am blown away!! Incredible games out there, you can be a wolf, raised packs of cubs, be string creatures in garden etc. I think it's amazing

But Mrexit your dc can create all those things using their own imaginations and developing their own neural synapses rather than relying on the imagination of others to do so. Btw I am not totally against games and I do think there are some amazing things out there. However I see many of them as the "sweets" of technology; nutritionally devoid and a source of instant gratification which is okay but only in small doses.

We have moved with the times. However have a wood burner and bring in logs etc so have a more traditional lifestyle too.

It's not modern life that makes some people miserable, it's just life in general. People have been miserable since the beginning of time and will be forever more, in all countries, nationalities, ethnicities and religions.

Some people are missing the 'make the best of it' gene.

We have moved with the times. However have a wood burner and bring in logs etc so have a more traditional lifestyle too.

Not really- that's a middle class fashionable choice. A first world toy.

No doubt you have central heating too.

If you depended on a wood stove as your only source of heat and cooking and had to cut down your own trees then it would be comparable.

Modern life is fantastic. Sorry, but it really is. I was only thinking about this this morning. If you do it right, you can use modern life to your advantage. We google things to do and things that will reconnect us to each other constantly. We go to places we've searched the map for, and the tech is out of the way and we're there and we've done it. We google when to Sow our carrots, watch how to guides on YouTube, book flights to wonderful and interesting places, and chat with loved ones around the world. We then set about doing those things, and don't sit glued to screens at all. Unlike now when I'm on mumsnet ok I can do things with my kids like have my food shop delivered, then go out for the day to a forest that I've found out has a particularly good trail for children, and find my way there in my super eco car via the sat nav. If we had to trudge between the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker to get our shopping, and had no money for a car, it would be drudgery and we'd perhaps barely get out. Things have improved greatly (though not enough IMO) for women. Since the good old days of when?? as with pp, my dear old Nan, born during WWI was a nurse on the field by WWII - and once it was all over, was a working housewife that looked after absolutely everything and did all the cooking and cleaning, AND had to have a job. They had very little to eat in the winter, and had to pickle stuff throughout summer to keep back for the bare pantry days, which were often. They shared a house with people downstairs with nothing actually dividing them, and a shared toilet at the end of the garden. My grandad was a soldier. The neighbour's etc all helped look after each other's kids (nice community aspect, I'll concede) while one or another was working, they all worked out their various shifts etc to help each other out because there was nowhere for the kids to go, and I've heard the tales of my mum and siblings being left alone at night while pops was away and nan was on night duty. That it there was no bread. No Childrens centres in the fifties. It all started to improve for them in the 60s and 70s. Pops had a desk job, nan got a higher position and had better control over hours and more money. They bought a little place. Still though, into way into the 00s my nan worried about there being enough food stored, even though there genuinely was, and jumped out of her skin at loud noises. My mum to until about ten years ago, was always paid less than men doing the same fucking job. So, I feel like we're getting into better times. The current political climate is quite horrifying, and I feel strongly about this narrative from Trump et al, BUT, it could be worse. Before was worse. I don't want to go backwards with this claptrap from May/Trump and the like, I want to go forwards, but only because we have up to this point BEEN going forwards, step by step. A little slowly for my liking but at least until now we've been going forwards, and technology has been one of the things that had facilitated that.

True but the dc at least know where heat comes from and someone has to source it.

Wood burning stoves are not a eco friendly option. They are causing increasing poor air quality inLondon and many other European cities

www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/01/24/air-pollution-london-passes-levels-beijingand-wood-burners-making/

notalotofpeopleknowthat.wordpress.com/2017/01/24/domestic-wood-burning-leads-to-very-high-pollution-alert-for-london/

I can easily show my children a wind farm if they want to see where our heat comes from.

Fair point. Need to do more research.

If you source your own wood it is FREE

You exercise sourcing and chopping the wood

Wind farms (unless you have your own land) the heat source is not free

Free to some perhaps,, but still terribly polluting.

If I can compare my childhood and teenage years with my DCs then I certainly had more freedom and a simpler life. I played out all day with friends, we rode bikes, made dens, and had adventures and made our own fun. I never heard of a play date, we had no iPads and watched little tv. In my teens there was nothing like the pressure there is today to be clever, beautiful, groomed and sexy. Thirteen year old girls today have bedrooms like a beauty salon obsessed with make up, contouring and eyebrows. If I had an argument at school or if I was feeling under pressure I could go home and escape from it all. Today the peer pressure and the arguments would follow me home and carry online - there is no escape.

We have never had more teens with anxiety and teens who self harm.

We burn wood as our primary heat source. We also have oil, but we would rather use the wood. It's renewable and free for us. We spend time each summer cutting and splitting.

My project this year is to plumb the central heating to the wood burner to increase efficiency.

I can see how it is polluting in the cities but living where we do it's our best option. For us it's renewable, free, a source of exercise. And we like it

My Nan had 4 girls and worked full time as a book keeper.
Her husband worked nights and she did the brunt of the parenting on her own.
They had a fair standard of living but worked hard for it. Not much quality time.
The worst part was that the eldest daughter my Mum, bore the brunt of responsibility for sibling care during the school holidays.
But, they used to travel the underground alone and spend the days in the freezing lidos in London. The cost of being occupied was nowhere near what it is today. The roads were quieter and less traffic meant safer for play.
It's just not like that anymore.
I never had either granny who stayed at home keeping house. They both worked. One was a nurse.
Neither of them drove. Neither of my grandads drove either. One grandad grew up in the slums of Glasgow. The other in the east end of London. One of 12 with an alcoholic mother. The kids ate once a day, were outside all day barefoot in all weathers.now, that would be called child abuse!
I like the fact I can drive and own a car outright. We have a better life than my grandparents, but my child doesn't have a better childhood than mine.

If you source your own wood it is FREE

Careful with this: most woodland is privately owned, even if it's accessible using public footpaths and bridleways. Removing any wood from private woodlands is stealing.

This might not be what the person who posted the comment was referring to - I have no idea so I'm not accusing them - but lots of people have this misconception that it's ok to help themselves to small amounts of wood for free, and it isn't.