To think modern life makes us miserable and unhealthy

[thedcbrokemybank]

I am currently doing an Msc. My research at the moment is on depression and there is evidence that environmental stressors in life are contributing to increase incidence of depression which is the biggest cause of burden in high income countries.
There is also evidence to suggest that modern lifestyles Inc diet, technology, increases in sedentarism etc also lead to us being more physically unhealthy and dissatisfied with our lives.
I am a parent and try and give my dc opportunities in life by feeding them a healthy diet, limiting screen time and promoting exercise but I find I am often up against barriers e.g my ds gets called the health police because he doesn't take large bags of sweets etc to activities, he finds he is somewhat socially isolated because I limit his opportunity to play computer games.
AIBU just to up and leave and move us all to a simpler environment, away from a society where measures of success in life are judged on material wealth?

to me, modern life is bloomin wonderful. I was also a 60's council estate child. On a remote cold wet miserable scottish island.

Double glazing, insulation, central heating, clothes becoming relatively cheaper, entertainment not having to involve putting on 6 layers of clothing. Being able to speak to relatives half way round the world rather than having to write and find out 6 days later that Aunt Edie had died etc. Being able to afford to fly places without it costing 3 months salary, a TV that cost under a months salary. Life is sweet - to me.

I look around me and see people who are depressed - but I don't think it is modern life causing it, a lot of it seems genetic. My parents were happy, it was a default position to count your blessings during times of trouble, that rubbed off on me - and I see it in my kids too.

So you type something, another person comes across and tells you what you really mean and then you can spend the rest of your afternoon defending and trying to explain to people who CLEARLY just want an argument over something you haven't even said

Except you did very clearly say one thing, that cannot be construed as anything else. You appear to want to cause an argument about it for some bizarre reason. I have no idea what your problem is, but you're derailing an interesting thread.
It's a shame because your first post was quite interesting apart from the over-generalisation. Perhaps you could go back to talking about the actual topic and not your weirdness?

I don't think it's an either/or situation, a past vs today situation.

Some things were better. Others not. More community maybe but less rights. No easy access to the wealth of knowledge on the internet but also easy access to the monumental stupidity of misogynistic alt-right twat heads.

I saw Sue Perkins on TV once interviewing a woman in the Far East (forget exactly where) who was a farmer, not as poor as many people but still working her arse off in the fields every day to keep going. Sue asked her what she'd like if she could have anything at all - with the expectation, I think, that it would be something relatively humble and related to the sphere the woman lived in. The woman said she'd like to be Sue, thank you very much - bumming around the world chatting to people on telly and getting paid shitloads for it.

Modern life has its risks and downsides. But I'd rather have a Facebook addiction than die of a bacterial illness, yaknow? (Not that that's not in our future since we've got no bloody sense and fling antibiotics around as if we wanted to create resistance...)

But how do you take into account the change in diagnostic criteria for MH conditions in non-western societies? I mean, I've lived in a variety of countries in the developing world, and I have no idea how anyone would get diagnosed with a MH condition, esp something like depression. Unless you're displaying very extreme symptoms, it just wouldn't be labelled that way. I know in India it is currently estimated that at least 50% of common mental disturbances go unreported due to stigma.

And, of course, historically, diagnostic criteria were so different, so I'm not sure how you can compare with the historical record. How does this work? Genuinely interested.

You can't, is the answer. It's not at all possible to say that people now are more depressed than people at X time, or even now but it A country. We can guess, but not very well.

Community is huge. Because my parents fled the Iran-Iraq war, I grew up partly in an immigrant/refugee community. Those men and women had lived through civil war, the Ba'athist coup, and 2 invasions. Many had lost their health, been imprisoned, seen loved ones die etc. None considered themselves extraordinarily resilient but their community held them together. That said, mental illness was considered an indulgence and not generally discussed.. I remember very clearly going through some typical teen angst and being taken aside by an aunt who told me, more or less in so many words, that Iraqi women are tough and to stop behaving like a White girl.

Bethlam hospital, founded in the 1200s...

Shell shock in World War I. 100 yrs ago when one of my grandmothers was young.

Mental Illness has always been here, alright. i think it's dealt with better nowadays than 50 or 100 or 500 yrs ago.

I think modern life is pretty great compared to all the shitty aspects of the past which have already been mentioned. However I think the cause of our misery today is jut different from the cause of misery say 50 or so years ago.

Mental illness aside, my theory is that the key to happiness is two things: expectations, and human/social connections. Most miserable people either have expectations about life that are not being met and are therefore constantly disappointed, and/or they're lonely. Both of these things can be made worse by certain aspects of modern life.

When it comes to expectations, well, these days we are always bombarded with images of the perfect life: online, on TV, through other people's bragging on social media etc. Think back 60 years and people had a lot more modest expectations about what makes a happy life - a stable job, settling down and starting a family, a roof over their head and food on the table, and that's pretty much it... Whereas these days we have bigger ambitions in life - travel the world, get famous, change the world, have a high flying job, become a successful entrepreneur, an Instagram star, etc... Nothing wrong with ambitions but the trouble is it that a simple life no longer seems 'enough' to be happy.

And when it comes to loneliness, well these days we live in less tight-knit communities and families, more living in cities, doing a more socialising online instead of meeting in person, all these things can make people lonely.

So yeah, expectations and human connections. Fortunately both of these things are things that are somewhat in our control as individuals - those of us who are fit and able can go out and try to make human connections, whether that's meeting new people or just making more effort to connect with our families and friends. And with some effort we can re-learn to have simpler expectations and appreciate the little things in life, going back to basics. For me, having kids (especially toddlers!) has helped me see the world through fresh eyes and appreciate simple joys more. This is how I lead a happier life.

Anyway, that's my take on things.

Feral. There were 2 sentences in my comment, with a full stop between them. The first sentence is agreeing with Fake. The second sentence is a generalisation about myself. Neither sentence means I am Fakes granny, or I thought it was about me. Stop being goady

"I'll take modern medicine, contraception, votes for women, marital rape being a crime etc etc over the Good Ol' Days any time" You are literally talking hundreds of years ago with most of that, I think the OP meant a bit less distant past - well that's the way I read

I agree with PatriciaHolm:
The only thing off that list that could even be argued to be 100 years old is that partial women's suffrage was granted in the UK in 1918 (99 years ago) - although it was 1928 (89 years ago) before there was a vote for all women over 21.

Modern medicine was unrecognisable before WW2: the list of things we take for granted which have only come into use since 1945 includes
all current antibiotics, chemotherapy, hormonal contraceptives, ultrasound, IVF, defibrillators, hip replacements, drugs to reduce rejection in organ transplants, vaccines for polio, mumps, measles and rubella, the eradication of smallpox (!) and the whole of genetics (!). Most of these things aren't anywhere near 70 years old yet.

Although marital rape was made a crime in Scotland in 1989, it was 1991 in England and Wales and the United Nations only declared marital rape a human rights violation in 1993 (so within the last 25 years).

This would be a really interesting thread for me but the sniping between two posters is really distracting and has put me off rtft.

Place marking to come back to see if the interesting discussion progresses or it just descends into name calling.

I must say, although I am an avid user of technology, i do worry about the impact of it an our younger generations. I work in a primary school, and have done for many years, and believe me, the standard of social skills of the children coming in has decreased dramatically over the last 20 years. The majority of our 3 year olds coming in now CANNOT TALK! I can't help but wonder if that has anything to do with the parents waiting at the school gates to pick their children up, glued to their mobile phones and who don't even bother to speak to the child. I know from watching the children (aged from 3-11 over all the classes) that many of them are almost addicted to their IPads/phones/PCs?PS4s etc, and for many of them that si all they do from the time they get home to the time they go to bed.

I feel children today are getting immediate gratification from social media....how many likes they get reflects their perceived popularity in their minds, and the pressures of living up to perfectly posed instagrammed selfies that may have taken 30 minutes to set up can be harmful. Many of them are not used to having to wait for anything and expect instant answers/responses.

Like I said, I obviously use tecnonology (typing this up on my Mac when i really should be cleaning!). I love the possibility of having a wealth of knowledge at my fingertips when I want to know the answer to something random. I do just worry about the long term impact on society.

I spent 2 weeks last year rafting down the Colorado River; no electricity/technology for 2 weeks. The whole thing was blissful; we were stripped back of everything, no make up, clothes pressure, work pressures, social media updates, no external news updates etc. Could I live long term like this? Appealing as it sounds, I think it was more appropriate to take a well earned break from it all, and return to a modified usage when I returned to the "real world."

Just wondering where you think you would move to to avoid "modern life"?

UtahGirl I totally agree with you. Although I think there are many advantages of living in the modern world, I think the massive use of technology is a mixed blessing. Yes, it's undoubtedly useful for all sorts of things, but it does seem to be almost addictive for many people.

My son, who is 16, didn't use computers much at all when he was younger. He watched a bit of tv, used computers at school a bit, and occasionally borrowed my laptop to do a few things. At 11 he had a mobile phone, but not a smartphone, so he only used it for calls and texts. He was quite happy about this and didn't ask for his own computer/smartphone/games consoles etc. Then 2 years ago he got his own laptop, as he was starting to need it more for school work etc.

In the last 2 years he has changed so much. He now spends hours online (even more so in the last year since he has been on social media). Before, he used to find all sorts of things to do in his spare time, but now, after he has done his homework and music practice, all he wants to do is go online.

It's as if everything else is just too hard - the instant gratification of the online world is much easier than having to think up his own ways of keeping occupied. I do worry in the long term how it will affect him, and from what he says ALL his friends are the same.

It is all relative.

The brain has capacity to feel anxiety for good reason. So if you don't have a roof over your head or no food or a minor illness that coud lead to your death or your loved ones then extreme anxiety serves a purpose in propelling you into action.

Take away the worry over having a roof over your head, food on the table and the NHS and the brain still has the capacity to feel anxiety and depression. But it will be for a host of other First World Problems: ability to keep up with the Jone's, self introspection, materialistic concerns etc.

You can't turn round to a depressed person in the UK and say you've nothing to be depressed about (even though a person coming from a war torn country might be tempted to say that.)

I remember a Norland Nanny friend of mine who looked after extremely privileged but whiny dc went on a placement to Vietnam to help in an orphanage. The babies and toddlers there literally had nothing and were just so grateful even just for kindly smile, let alone any cuddles (they were so busy).

The experience made her realise that the more you have the less you are grateful for and the more dissatisfied you become.

Even people with very little can feel grateful and live life happily and to the full.

I also think there's a lot in what Zaphod said.

Many people are either time rich and cash poor or vice versa. It seems as if of my friends, half of them earn little money but work standard or part time hours. They have plenty of free time, but are stressed about making ends meet, and can't always afford to pursue their interests in their free time.

The other half are reasonably well paid but work ridiculous hours. They have nice houses and possessions, but are constantly stressed from trying to do too much in too little time, barely see their families, and have no time to pursue their interests even though they can afford to do so.

There doesn't seem to be much middle ground.

I think this has definitely changed from say, the 1970s. I remember then my mum was a primary school teacher, and although she did have marking and preparation to do in her spare time, there wasn't anything like the workload that teachers today have, nor so much stress from constantly changing targets and huge amounts of paperwork.

I'll take modern medicine, contraception, votes for women, marital rape being a crime etc etc over the Good Ol' Days any time You are literally talking hundreds of years ago with most of that, I think the OP meant a bit less distant past - well that's the way I read

Let's break that down.
Modern medicine - Antibiotics first used in 1936; NHS lauched 1948; Infant mortality was approx 14% in 1900, a century later it was less than 0.5%.

Votes for women - All women over the age of 21 got the vote in 1928.

Marital rape - became a crime in 1991.

We really aren't talking the dim and distance past. This all happened within the lifetime of women like my grandmother, within living memory.

I don't know what the wisest thing is to do, but I hugely sympathise with your priorities and concerns here.

I think there are things that were better before and things that are better now. The ideal is to reap the benefits of modern living while avoiding the stressors as much as possible.
I do agree that overeating/junk food, excessive use of screens, reduced exercise, massive pressure at school for kids and reduced playtime, both parents often needing to work along with social media and the pressure/expectation to keep up appearances that you are doing fantastically in every way is causing depression to be very common though.

Hope you are all prepping for Ten a Day fruit and veg now.

On top of everything else.

But for me life is good. I ignore the Nanny State when I can and when I cannot, I moan about it ad infinitum. Better out than in.

No one can say that our lives are worse than the previous generation.

I do worry somewhat about the propensity of children and adolescents to use social media/devices. But every older generation worried about those younger than them I suppose.

All will be well in the end. It is Trump I am worried about TBH!

I see what you're saying but most of what you mention is based upon choice. I don't have to own an iPad but I choose to. I don't have to take my son to after school activities but I choose to etc etc.

Modern medicine outweighs any possible merit in old fashioned living. As do womens rights. My mother had to take my dad with her when she took out a mortgage, I'm not ancient.

I love modern life to be honest.

This area of modern life certainly could:

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/feb/24/revealed-thousands-of-children-toxic-air-london-nitrogen-dioxide?client=safari

Modern life is great, when you think of all the advances in science, education, NHS, equal rights for women and a million other things. I'm not writing a list! and I do know how lucky we all are. But yes, despite all of that modern life does make me miserable. Does it make me depressed? No, but it does send me off in a spin. I do wish I could switch the volume button down sometimes - I find it all incredibly noisy and stressful!

It all seems so complicated to me. Everyone I know hates their jobs and they are all unhappy about something or other. Always busy, rushing off here, there and everywhere. It's exhausting just thinking about lives some of them live.

This is the point, that was not a utopia where all women stayed home and kids were rosy cheeked cherubs playing foot ball in the street!

When you think of previous generations, my grandmas day, the only expectation was she clean house and cook the evening meal and look after the children. She was a house wife, that was her job....

I think I'm probably very different to a lot of mums on here but there are some women who do still live like that. My life isn't a million miles away from previous generations and I'm very happy and fullfilled and I hate that some people believe you are a lesser being if you don't go out to work. I do have job - I am a housewife with a husband and kids and a house to run - and that is it. It is all I want and all I have ever wanted.

Yes, I know we have to eat and pay bills and some people don't have the choice but DH has only ever earned national average wage so we haven't exactly been living the high life and there has been very little money to buy stuff associated with Modern living. Despite not having much money, staying at home with my children was worth it and it works for DH and me. There is something very lovely about living a simple life and I wouldn't change it for the world. I honestly believe modern life isn't all it's cracked up to be. I had a career, good job, we were juggling 3 young children with childcare, work and lots of other stuff and one day we both just decided enough was enough. My wages paid for childcare, I was literally working to pay somebody else to be a mum to my babies and it just felt wrong on so many levels.

I'd strip it right back if I could and move to some far flung remote island with absolutely no modern conveniences but that's a step too far for my family - they wouldn't survive 5 minutes and I'm not going on my own! Dream over :-(

I get that there is choice, Morris, but for young people it can be quite hard. For example, my ds would probably be quite happy without social media (and he certainly was before he was on it), but now he thinks that "everyone else" is on there all the time, and if he isn't, he will be missing out.

There seems to be a lot of fear of missing out with social media use, especially with teenagers.