To refuse to feed my children tonight

[Everyoneafter3]

Dc aged 9 and 6 drove me crackers in the supermarket earlier as I was attempting a weekly shop so I ended up abandoning the trolley and hauling them out.

As a consequence, we've not much food in the house. I was about to cook something when dd2 whined she didn't want that, she wanted something else. Dd1 whined she didn't want that.

I turned off the oven.

WIBU not to feed them this evening?

Agree I'd be furious withDH
They need to see the connection

'Neither will accept sandwiches or toast as an evening meal.'

Seriously stop pandering to them. Unless you know its a meal they don't like serve it and leave them to it.

I totally understand where you are coming from. After dishing up healthy home cooked meals to 2 DC when they were younger and having them refused, I said nothing but the next night just served up Weetabix and explained why I was doing so. It doesn't seem to have harmed them-both now eat well and taller than me!

So they are being rewarded for bad behaviour by having their favourite meal cooked for them?

Your DH is NOT a hero!

Here it would be "you get what you are given"

Neither will accept sandwiches or toast as an evening meal.

sorry, but you really sound as if you are running a cafe.

My kids do not get to choose dinner! I decide what we are eating. If it is ds favourite, then dd2 is a bit meh, but tough she eats the bits she likes (ds likes lots of meat, dd2 doesn't like meat much)
If it is dd2s favourite meal, ds is a bit meh. I make sure there is somethign they can eat, so plenty of veg for dd2 to fill up on with a tiny peice of meat, and plenty of garlic bread when ds only wants a small portion of dd2s pasta dish, but basically, one meal, one dish, eat it or go hungry.

Stop pandering to them!

I was about to cook something when dd2 whined she didn't want that, she wanted something else. Dd1 whined she didn't want that.

Why did you change plans? tough shit I am cooking xxxx. No I am not cooking something else, that is what is for dinner.

And while I get that it is easier to shop without them, at their age they should be perfectly able to go round a shop, possibly even HELP you shop. So if they are that bad, you need to start taking them and teach them how.

Whilst you can't actively starve your children, that is unlikely to happen with them foregoing one meal. You would be perfectly reasonable or even demonstrating good parenting by saying, "This is the food we have in the house because of your appalling behaviour in the supermarket. You may choose to eat it or not. If not, then you will be hungry". Then stand firm. They'll eat well at breakfast if they choose not to eat supper.

Why the hell are they getting their favourite meal out of it?
I'd have served up beans on toast, if they don't eat it that's up to them, might encourage them not to piss about in the supermarket next time

Your DH is undermining you by walking in and being the 'hero' after crappy behaviour which prevented you from getting the family shopping done.

Why are you letting him.?

Obviously I will feed them. I'm fed up of running a café!

Wow your dh just made your life more difficult!

Id have continued to make te meal, serve it, and if they dont eat it they dont get an alternative.

So dh just undermined you?
Great
Dh needs to come and shop with them if he's going to do that.

Mine have just moaned at tonight's tea option. I've told then it's that or nothing.

Sympathy from me OP. Mine run amok in supermarkets so I can only grab the odd item when I'm with them and have had to leave without everything when they're particularly bad.

Blimey. Nip this in the bud or I suspect t you will have more difficulties in the years to come.

Online shopping maybe an idea in future.

Of course you have to feed them. How else can you fatten them up to eat them?

Stop pandering to them - there is one meal on the menu each night - take it or leave it.

... I feel your frustration.. I have just got back from 2.5 hr weekly trip to supermarket to find DH chatting and drinking tea with the neighbour. I unpacked all the food myself (as he was chatting) and then he bitched and moaned about a couple of the things I bought and said he wont cook this saturday night when my friends are coming over (because he doesnt like them). (He cooks 99% of the time in our house). How shitty and ungrateful is that?
sometimes I want to eat worms at the bottom of the garden...

YANBU!

Do you have a DP?

If so, wait for them to come home and they can deal with it :)

I would serve them a soup, demand that they finish their bowl and that's it.

Mine quite like cereals as an evening meal as a treat when we come back from travelling, so that would not be a punishment. Soup isn't a punishment either, it's healthy but they wouldn't have anything else. They do not deserve their favourite meal tonight, what lesson is that?
If your DH is in the mood, he should make YOUR favourite diner, for the 2 of you.

I am afraid I would be doing toast, butter jam and a glass of milk and they could lump it.

to you. It can be very debilitating dealing with The Ungratefuls!

Your DH is being a dick and undermining you. Tough shit if they don't want sandwiches, tell them it's because they behaved so badly at the supermarket and that's all there is.

At 9 and 6 I'd be expecting better behaviour ina supermarket... were they hangry?

And yes, you have a DH problem.

You realise your the parent right?
You are running a cafe Because you are pandering to their demands.
No choice for dinner. Someone cooks, other people eat or not.
None of this crap about starting a meal one complains so another one is started.
At their ages they should be more than capable of walking around a supermarket

No your DH is certainly not a hero, he's rewarding their shitty behaviour
I'd have cooked a meal & put it out, they either eat or they don't.