Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To change nursery because of menu options

304 replies

Confusedwithcake1 · 23/02/2017 17:11

So I'm returning to work soon and my LO will attend the local nursery for 2 days a week when 11months old. When I chose the nursery I was happy with the care, location etc and at the time I was happy with the menu options.

Fast forward now and I've looked at the menu options and now I think I want to look for a new nursery. Specifically because they serve cake as a pudding (wasn't on previous sample menu)

Don't get me wrong I love cake and know that LO will eat cake at parties but I was just hoping that a nursery setting would provide something less junkie.

My DH thinks it's fine as it's only 2 days a week but I'm not so sure as it seems unnecessary for a 11month old.. so aibu to try and find a new nursery based on one sample menu that lists cake as a pudding?

OP posts:
bumsexatthebingo · 23/02/2017 20:46

Slightly splitting hairs there! She's not going to reject it if she can't find anywhere better as she needs the childcare 2 days a week!

Applesandpears23 · 23/02/2017 20:59

I think you are right. I didn't want nursery feeding my 1 year old things like treacle sponge and custard. I asked for no sweet puddings until she was older. At about 2 she started to notice she had somethig different from the others and get upset so at that point I allowed her to have the sweet puddings. I plan to do the same thing with the next one. Don't listen to people telling you it is normal to eat cake. Unfortunately it is now also perfectly normal for preschoolers to have cavities. I also didn't do biscuits until she was old enough to notice she was missing out.

dairymilkmonster · 23/02/2017 21:06

The parents who have obese children/ dental issues etc are rarely those who are worried about occasional nursery sized cake portions. Your baby will be fine, whether they have the cake or not.

DS1 is 5, his school have a proper pudding option daily, which he always chooses. He is low normal weight and dentist says teeth are fine.

Healthy balance in diet, moderate exercise and good teeth brushing= all fine.

I agree with various others' comments that once you have a variety and healthy things refusing toddler monster, you will get more flexible!

wrinkleseverywhere · 23/02/2017 21:09

The thing with a nursery is that they are treating to cater for 60 or so young children's dietary whims as well as all of the allergies & religious diets that they have to work around. Most children do seem to become sheep at nursery and eat a more varied diet than they might do at home (DS spent six months only eating plain pasta, bread, cheese, cucumber & blueberries at home but would eat anything which wasn't "wet" at nursery) but, even so, cake is something a high percentage of them will like and, whilst it will have some sugar in, it will also have fat which toddlers need & be calorie dense.

TheWinterOfOurDiscountTents · 23/02/2017 21:13

No wonder there are so many fat kids if people think cake twice a week is ok lol

sod off with the lol. My kids have cake twice a week and are not fat. That isn't why kids are obese. Hmm

TheWinterOfOurDiscountTents · 23/02/2017 21:14

Don't listen to people telling you it is normal to eat cake

No, do, because it is.

WTF is wrong with people?

Klaphat · 23/02/2017 21:17

Lots are made with honey or syrup etc - think you'll have better thing to worry about probably more sugar in a yogurt

Hmm

That reminds me of someone who was dieting and said they had stopped adding sugar to their porridge, but were adding golden syrup instead.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 23/02/2017 21:17

You can ask the nursery not to serve him any. When I signed my son up I was asked in the induction if he was allowed cake as a dessert, I was fine with it but there are parents who aren't and their dcs get fruit for pudding.

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 23/02/2017 21:18

Cake eat this with a helping of this Wine

We have all probably been PFB when it comes to our kids. But you won't give a flying toss when you start to realise what crap they pick up off the ground and shove in their mouths.

You will be hard pressed finding a setting that DOESN'T serve cake. Schools all have cake at some loot and even twice a week isn't all that bad (and I bet both are not both your days either?)

If you are that PFB about it, just tell the nursery no cake for your child.

But be warned. There will come a point when your kid realised that mum is BU and all merry hell breaks loose!

I had neighbours who would hyperventilate and pick up sweets from the ground in secret because their parents banned ALL forms of sweets, crisps and cakes when they were growing up.

They are now obese!

Excited101 · 23/02/2017 21:20

The private school near me used to offer cake and proper puddings at every meal time as the dessert, it was ridiculous. People complained and now they sometimes have cake but other times it's just yoghurt or jelly etc. Not hugely better but better than the 'eat cake every day' message that was being sent out before!

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 23/02/2017 21:21

Also I don't understand why some parents say no at 1 but at 2 they let them.

What was so bad about them having cake at 1 but not at age 2?

Was it that they would die???? Be obese before the age of 2???

Sweets101 · 23/02/2017 21:23

Ime you'll struggle to find a nursery that doesn't provide a proper pudding (as in something sweet, not an apple) and it's the same at school unless you opt out of the free school meals and go for providing lunch boxes (not half as much fun as I imagined with PFB, really is a balls ache)

lionsleepstonight · 23/02/2017 21:34

Just wait till they're at school and it's a cake pudding every day! (If you take school dinners)

MotherofA · 23/02/2017 21:42

I do think it's OTT the amount of sugar that schools and nurseries give children tbh. However I wouldn't change nursery due to it. Perhaps like pp said ask they don't offer your little one cake .
School dinners are the same , the get dessert regardless of how much lunch they eat and it's always very sugary unnecessary crap .

BBCK · 23/02/2017 21:49

Obviously you didn't have cake as a child !! FFS get a grip. Is this all you've got to worry about ? Lucky you 😕

Atenco · 23/02/2017 22:17

Well this thread has been an eye-opener. I've been most of my adult life outside the UK and find it very odd that so many people think that cake is perfectly fine food for a nursery to serve up.

We don't normally have dessert of any sort where I now live and my dgd's kinder prohibits yoghurt because of the sugar content.

MotherofA · 23/02/2017 22:19

I agree about yoghurt ! Full of sugar too , why do kids need so much refined sugar ??

AlcoholicsUnanimous · 23/02/2017 22:36

OP I totally understand your concern. The menu would influence which nursery I chose for my DD too. It's not as simple as 'cake twice a week isn't going to kill them.' At 11 months your LO is developing their taste buds. Babies naturally have a sweet tooth, why encourage it? As they get older they'll become more aware of junk food due to advertising, having more control over what they eat for lunch at school and so on. Why not delay them eating rubbish for as long as possible?
I regularly hear 'Well your first food was rusks and it didn't do any of you any harm!' from my mum. Yeah, except my sisters and I all have a sweet tooth, battle with weight, had loads of fillings as children and have diabetes and pre-diabetes.
Having said that, if it's a good nursery in all other regards and you're happy leaving LO there, speak to them about alternatives.

Charlieismydarlin · 23/02/2017 22:39

atenco this is why the UK is so unhealthy. It really is the norm here

PixieL · 23/02/2017 22:47

If you are still concerned, then do have a look at the Children's Food Trust website and their Eat Better Start Better info. The Voluntary Guidelines for Early Years Settings (www.childrensfoodtrust.org.uk/childrens-food-trust/early-years/ey-resources/) are quite easy to read and have a section on desserts/puddings. Our nursery serves 'pudding' and their menus are approved by the Children's Food Trust.

DorcasthePuffin · 23/02/2017 23:00

I was raised in a family where we had no sweets, no sugar, everything home cooked. My brothers will eat everything, and are good cooks (and their kids are slim and healthy). I was anorexic by 12, later bulimic, now out of control around food and overweight. I have tried to be more relaxed with my children, not wanting them to fixate on food as I did, and they eat far too much sugar Sad

So, I think it's very easy for people (including some posters on this thread) to think that cake/not cake is obviously the way to go, that with a few simple rules we can control our children's later attitudes to food. What works with one child won't necessarily work with another. Eating habits and body image are hugely complex, and shaped not just by parents but by our wider (obesogenic) society.

This article is very wise, I think: www.tes.com/news/school-news/breaking-views/flaws-how-schools-talk-about-food

Vandree · 23/02/2017 23:51

You are the parent and you are paying for a service. You won't be the first parent to request your child only get a dessert of yogurt and fruit. Its a lot easier to limit desserts when your children are very small and they haven't got older siblings to lead them astray. I have 3 children. I have pcos, ibs and gestational diabetes 3 times. I am also very over weight with disordered binge eating habits. My parents never allowed "treats" and any that came into the house where hidden and locked up. We snuck into locked rooms to get at them and I was binge eating from loneliness when I was a latch key kid from the age of 9, hiding the evidence down the side of an armchair for months. From the age of 15 on the way home from school on my birthday where once again I knew it was to an empty house I bought a box of roses and box of pringles and binged and purged for the first time. Its not the fault of my parents. My own mother grew up where food was scarce in a 2 bed house of 14 where first come first served so she only knew how to horde and hide food.

I am hugely aware of my kids diets and trying to figure out how to keep a good balance so as not to pass on my issues. I bake regularly with my children from a small age. We actually had one of those pods kids could stand in to reach the counter so my 2 and 1 year old could help bake. I alternate between regular baking of sweet treats and also things like porridge bread or buns made with mashed banana, oats and eggs. They are allowed a treat on friday after school. They eat a good variety of healthy food and while I would prefer them to have less sugar (the now 8 year old as discovered chewits fml) I don't make an issue of it as a once in a while thing as long as 90% of the rest of their diet is good.

We have gone through the weaning stage where we were smug that our children would devour hoummus, olives, tapanade, rye bread, goats cheese, lentils, chickpea curries, cabbage, pates, quinoa and all manner of family dinners. Then we went through the phase of tearing our hair out that our toddler would eat nothing at all for weeks at a time but jarred spag bol or rice crispies. And we have come out the other side with an 8 year old who loves everything and a 7 year old who would sell her soul for sardines and spag bol (guess who loved the jarred kid) but is still wary of sprouts and green veg. But the now 3 year old, well today we were delighted that for the first time in months he had an actual "dinner" for dinner. A very rare treat of pizza meant he ate popcorn chicken, chips and dip. I mean he ate the same food as the rest of us, it was cause for celebration!

So be PFB while you can, because when they grown up a bit more you wont be in charge so enjoy it while you can.

Charlieismydarlin · 24/02/2017 06:48

dorcas thanks for the link. It's a fascinating subject.

I thought her actual recommendations were a bit wooly - almost as if we should just eat crap when younger or make it healthier crap. But it does make sense although society and schools are completely the other way at present.

I have a child who has listened carefully at school and says she avoids biscuits as she wants a balanced diet. I'm not sure what to make of it and neither do I think I should eat shite biscuits as a "treat" in front of her as the word is unhelpful (and your article would confirm that)

I do make healthier desserts and offer them freely to my kids - including cake - so I'm going for the best.

insancerre · 24/02/2017 06:53

If you want children to eat fruit you need to make sure it's not seen as the second best option when everyone else is having cake
That's a sure way to give children hang ups over food
It's sending all the wrong messages
They should all have cake or fruit

Hatemylifenow · 24/02/2017 06:55

this is why the UK is so unhealthy

No it isn't. I'm originally from a country that routinely has cake for breakfast. We have very low obesity rates.

It's got much more to do with portion size, snack culture and most importantly attitudes to food.