Postman Pat

[user1471517900]

He gets a plane, helicopter, off road vehicle and a van..... And still it takes him a full day to deliver one parcel (usually opened and retrieved from the sea/a nest/ melted) and then he has the AUDACITY to claim "Special delivery mission accomplished". It's a parcel mate. It's not some sort of amazing achievement. Look at all the parcels Ben deals with and you can't deliver more than one.

He needs to be sacked. I bet Ben would do the job much better and quicker.

I was having this exact conversation with DH on the weekend! Plus PP gets his friends to help him load his van in the mornings, and whenever Ben asks "how soon can you be here?", PP never actually answers the question but just says he is on his way (WTF use is that?).

It's DS' current addiction so I have had rather a lot of too much time to become acquainted with PP's work habits

I have a Postman Pat obsessed son but try to steer him towards the older series (the early 00s one is good) for precisely these reasons.

You just know that he'll be working for Yodel soon and delivering the parcels onto people's roofs or into their wheelie bins for safety sake. Yeah thanks Pat 🙄

Given that the village is full of red haired children but Pat is the only red haired adult, I think we can work out why it takes him so long to deliver a parcel 😝

Postman Pat
Postman Pat
Postman Pat ran over his cat.
All the guts went flying, Postman Pat was crying.
Postman Pat's a really silly man.

Sorry, couldn't resist! I love Postman Pat.

He's also a bit of a dick to his family

"What are you doing today son"
"Today at school we're going to...."
Ring
"Hold on.... Special delivery service, Pat Clifton speaking"

Just finish your chat, don't answer straight away.

You also don't need to take your cat everywhere.

Ooh and when he's late delivering the opened/melted parcel someone always says 'I wonder where Pat can be? He's never usually late'.

HE IS LATE LITERALLY EVERY DAY

I saw one where he won an award for being a top employee. Errr, I don't think so. He regularly opens people's parcels, causes a whole heap of chaos in trying to get them delivered, is invariably late, and then makes out like he's triumphed over adversity in getting a parcel to the customer when actually it was only difficult because he's a fucking imbecile.

And I agree - he's a shit dad. Always makes arrangements to spend the day playing football with his kids or something, and then just fucks em off cos Bens rung about some urgent parcel with barely even an explanation of why he can't be s proper dad today after all. Selfish prick.

I've never forgiven him for stealing the plot of a Fireman Sam episode remembered from childhood where Sam rescued children stuck on an iced over pond and it was cracking. It makes sense for a fireman to have a ladder. But the Pat just happens to be delivering a ladder and comes across the same situation.

Live the idea of Pat working for Yodel!

Love - obviously!

We had a brilliant book called "Postman Fat gets Fat" and it was so old school but hilarious. He basically spent a week stuffing his face on his rounds - would you like a bun, Pat: oh yes Mrs Person that never made it to the telly; would you like some pie, Pat: oh yes please. Then he can't get his suit on for church the fat bastard so he spends the next week cycling and saying "no, I'm dieting" when the villagers tempt him with food and then boofph by the weekend he's dropped 3 stone and the suit fits

There was another book which had the punchline "it's just what I do everyday" - DS had them both every night for months and "no thanks, I'm dieting" and "it's just what I do" were his version of yes and no for ages

I agree completely,but I tell you who is even worse is PC Plum from Bala-fucking-mory.

Talk about a waste of public money, mincing about wasting police time.
It's a fucking disgrace....

user He does need to take his cat with him - Jess often corrects his sloppy postmanship and is the unsung hero of Greendale.

Ted would be a far more worthy lead character.

Postman Twat

Thea agreed, Jess is obviously the brains behind the operation. Surely Pat is due a nice retirement and pension package by now topped up with shifts as a local courier?

This thread has made me laugh. My two year old is obsessed! I have watched them so many times that Inactually spotted two different scenes that both used scenes from other episodes justnwith different words. Very shoddy to copy and paste like that. Do the producers not realise that we will invariably end up watching each episode a thousand times and will notice these botch jobs!

He's so bad at his job. He never says thanks for all the help his friends give him, then he basks in the glory of saving the day (the problems from which were in fact his fault). And how do they keep expanding Greendale? Suddenly it's on the sea!

Also love the sexual tension between PC Selby and Dr Gilbertson.

"I've got an unusual one for you today Pat"

Turns up

"You have to deliver a parcel to someone"

How is that unusual?!

What I find odd is how Pencaster can afford to buy a helicopter, a motorbike, and a van for Pat to deliver some bloody parcels. Where are they getting that sort of money from?

Also he's still the Postman for Greendale right? How can he manage a delivery service and do a full post service for the village at the same time?

That episode where he delivers a bouncy castle then Jess scratches it to smithereens. And he just thinks it's acceptable to use plasters to cover the holes. Erm, no Pat, can you please return the item and ensure the delivery service compensate me so I can buy a new one.

Also have you noticed how Pat's only got one armchair in his living room, and no sofa or anything? Julian sometimes sits at his little writing desk, which leaves Pat and Sara to basically play musical chairs with the 1 armchair.

I've now watched so many episodes I've essentially done a forensic analysis of the entire set! There are so many little errors it's hilarious.

Ben is the micromanager from hell

God I'm glad DD isn't more into Pat.
I remember one episode where it took pat, the policeman and Alf (?) most of the day to work out how to clear up some spilt sand. They ended up using the policeman's hat. Just go and get a fucking spade ffs!

I do love Alf. His wife annoys me though. She always sounds really patronising.

Mrs Goggins dog though should be out through some training. He's a menace!

You think that's bad, you need to watch The Post Train on baby tv. Every episode they lose the address and go trailing around the globe to find the recipient. And then, every episode, the postmaster turns up at the end with a present to go with the package clearly showing that he opened the package! Shocking lack of standards!

And the girl in the wheelchair- has anyone noticed how out for proportion her wheelchair is? It's fricking massive. Her wheels come up to the other kids heads. How can that be right?