Birthday Party, WWYD?

[dippylongstocking]

DS (soon to be 7) handed out invitations at school today for birthday party at end of March. Within 10 minutes of school ending the mother of one of Ds's classmates sent me a text saying 'Sorry, X won't be at DS's party because X's party is at same time.'
I replied, saying 'Never mind, have fun.'
I assumed that would be the end of the conversation, but got reply almost immediately saying 'X has invited most of class so don't expect many to come to DS's party. I'd rearrange if I were you.'
DH thinks it was rude of her to suggest we should rearrange, but I'm not sure if she was trying to spare DS's feelings when his friends don't come to his party.
I don't want DS to be disappointed, but its the only time we can really do anything because of other family birthdays etc, so cant really rearrange it.
I'm quite new to the birthday party thing, and I tend to over-worry about stuff, so just wanted to see what you guys think?

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

But did you tell her to fuck off op?

[Pissedoffhousewife]

Sounds like the other Mum is desperate for her child to have a big party and that's why she didn't want it in half term. She must have panicked when your invitations came out. Glad you've had some yes replies hope the party goes really well :)

[Yukbuck]

I'm another one who thought the text wasn't too rude as I thought she wasn't the other host. But now I know it Is, he text is rude! I think she's the one panicking that not many will turn up

[Mummyoflittledragon]

That number of replies with cousins on top will be a great party.

[Bestthingever]

Glad things look like they'll work out,

[CoraPirbright]

What Yukbuck says. The other mum is extremely rude. Why should you be the one to rearrange when the invitations went out on the same day? Cheeky mare!

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

I was going to say she was giving you a heads up, then I saw the invites were sent out the same day, then that she was the other party mum. How bloody rude of her! She could move her party. And extremely rude to tell you that most of the class was invited, making it clear your son is one of a few who has been left out. I hope hardly any day they are going which will force her to change hers.

[Witchend]

She may have sent out invitations only the same day, but if she was arranging it for 5 weeks later she may have spoken to a number of mums to sort out the best date, so already invited/accepted as it were. I've certainly seen similar done.

As for not having it during half term because of lack of numbers I got hit by that.
Only the other way.
Dd1's birthday was during half term and she was desperate to have ti on her actual birthday. So we invited about 25 over the two classes expecting half to not be able to make it.
24 yes replies.

I got very used to saying between gritted teeth and rising panic "oh how lovely I'm so pleased they can come."

[TellMeItsNotTrue]

I would have had to reply with something like "whereas we wouldn't invite most but not all, hence your son being invited" PA smiley

I can't believe the cheek, if anything I would expect your son to get more people going as he has been friends with these people a lot longer, and he invited everyone so bound to get more just because of that! If she has skipped 5 weeks anyway then what difference does another day/few hours/week make?

[SleepFreeZone]

Love it! Hopefully more people will come to your party and she might sheepishly rearrange hers.

[DailyMailDontStealMyThread]

Cheeky school mum! Stick with your time and date, 13 plus is lots and I hope your DS has loads of fun.

[SpiritedLondon]

sounds like it's all going to be fine with the numbers. I do think her message to you was rude. She could easily have said " Just to let you know that we're also having a party on the same day" without then going on to recommend you change your date.....that's the bit that's rude. However, You can now send out your invites to the " not quite as popular reserve children" and we can enjoy another AIBU thread from an offended parent 😄

[PuddleJumper01]

She's MAD to wait until the end of March (and I'm quite stunned that you're both giving out invites with such a long lead time, incidentally.... I tend to give out invites 2 - 3 weeks before), because - like me - other mum has a winter baby.

Those poor summer borns, who organise lovely outside parties generally have poor attendance because everyone's away on hols. But with my winter born babe, doesn't matter if someone we invited LOATHED her... parents were so pleased to be able to get rid of their kid for a couple of hours when there was mank weather and long dark nights. Why on earth is she waiting until spring has sprung? Unless you live in some haven where the minute schools break up, you all whisk yourselves away somewhere gorgeous and hot for a winter sun break or something.

[Aeroflotgirl]

If I had a summer born baby, I would do a party for them in the Summer term nearest the end of the term, do something with them on their actual birthday.

[ALittleMop]

Why should op negotiate? She's been told by the other mum most kids won't attend her ds party - very rude, and suggested she change her party - also rude.

er because it's also this other little kid's party, and even if his mum has sent a misjudged text, its a bit shit for that little kid to have fewer guests at his party too, especially if he's new to the school.

One of you should rearrange, if you possibly can. It's crap for the kids and crap for the guests to have a clash.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Why should they rearrange fgs.op has already plenty anyway, with family coming too. There is more than enough kids to go around.

[Babybubblescomingsoon]

Wow. So they handed invitations out at the same time and she seems to think her party is more important? And assuming more people will choose her sons party?! What a nasty woman.

[TheDowagerCuntess]

It's awkward for other Mum, as they've only invited most people, whereas OP has invited the entire class.

The invitations were given out on the same day, so the OP is much more likely to get the better turn-out.

Basing it purely on a numbers game, other Mum would be wiser to move her date.

It's unfortunate, as other Mum's arsey attitude isn't helping her DC one bit.

[CoraPirbright]

How are the numbers going OP?

[lougle]

Am I the only one feeling sorry for the new kid? When are the parties? If you're glossing yours in a barn (sounds fab!) could you move the time a few hours either way so that both parties could run on the same day?

[LucklessMonster]

Such a yo-yo thread!

First, when I thought she was a neutral third mum, the reply seemed helpful.

Then it transpired she was the other party mum, and the reply seemed terribly rude.

I cheered when I saw you had 13 confirmed.

Now I think about this poor new kid and I worry the mum is panicking that he's going to have a crap party when he's already the new boy.

[Astro55]

Well she shoul play nicely then shouldn't she?

[MadMags]

Didn't OP say that another time wouldn't really suit?

[JustSpeakSense]

Other mums abrupt attitude isn't really going to help her DS is it?

[JigglyTuff]

The OP can't rearrange her party. I do feel sorry for the other little boy - it's not great if your mum has no idea how to make friends when you move to a new area.

Perhaps if the other mum had been a nicer about it and texted the OP to ask her how they could resolve the situation, it could have worked out for both kids.