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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask for a night on my own in a hotel for my birthday?

64 replies

Collienova · 20/02/2017 18:18

My husband thinks it's 'weird', but I've got my 40th birthday coming up and I'll be 25 weeks pregnant. I don't want a big party or a night out watching everyone getting p**d. All I ask for is a night away on my own in a little hotel (maybe with a spa) so I don't feel tempted to do stuff at home even if I was child free. I'm an introvert and everything's been very full on. I just need to recharge (on my own). My husband's an extrovert and he recharges by spending time with friends and family or going out. Is my request really that strange?!?

OP posts:
llangennith · 21/02/2017 11:00

Sounds blissful. As you can tell from one of the few extroverts who responded to your post they just don't get that introverts physiologically need time alone to recharge.

popcornpaws · 21/02/2017 11:01

I do this roughly four or five times a year, but book two nights away to get the best break!
I go to a city about 30 mile away that i love, try different restaurants and cafes each time, shop, buy a new book and relax, its bliss!

Last year we were renovating our house, it took over 7 month to complete and i stayed in the hotel around 6 times during the work being done, it was how i coped with the mess and chaos!
Once you do it though it will be your new hobby!

Julju · 21/02/2017 11:04

I asked for this for my last birthday and everyone laughed and carried on discussing what we should do to celebrate but I wasn't joking!

The dream would be a luxury Spa hotel with michelin star restaurant, huge bed, etc. All on my own 🤤🤤🤤

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 21/02/2017 11:10

That sounds amazing. Absolute bliss.

I think if your DH is an extrovert he will just not 'get it'. He's just going to have to trust that it's not a slight on him or your relationship. I also think (sorry, making some assumptions here) that if you're a SAHM or primary carer for small children and babies, you just feel so used up and touched out in a way that is impossible to explain to someone who doesn't experience it. I love my children (and despite what I'm about to say, I miss them after an hour anyway Grin) but my God. Sometimes it's so stifling to have somebody touching you all day. Making demands on your time, your thoughts, your body. To have a night away to just be yourself, alone and uninterrupted sounds like heaven.

facedontfit · 21/02/2017 12:25

YABU at 1 night - you need at least 2! Smile

WeeM · 21/02/2017 22:07

I have never thought of doing this but now I want to lol! As an only child I like my own company and I don't think my dh would understand! Go for it!

early30smum · 21/02/2017 22:15

Do it! I'd love to and I'm not pregnant!

Original poster
Collienova · 21/02/2017 22:55

A little update... I think he still doesn't 'get' it, but he realises it's nothing to do with him or that there are any issues. I think we're both happy with a night out together in my actual birthday and then my little escape probably the week after. To answer a few question:
I am the primary carer, but I also work part time. It is true that I feel totally 'touched out' some days - I'm not sure if this is more for introverts, but having no personal space does get to me after a while. Don't get me wrong, my daughter and I cuddle a lot, but I do need to balance that out with alone time...
When I say 'spa' I'm mainly thinking of a head massage or something along those lines. I'm only just half way through this pregnancy, but I already feel blobby, so anything else would probably make me feel more uncomfortable than relaxed.
Looking forward to pooping in peace, too. I might even take more than 30sec to do it! Grin
Thanks everyone - It's nice to know I'm not the only one. I love my family, but I need to love myself, too and recharging is important for my mind as much as my body.

OP posts:
mortificado · 21/02/2017 22:59

I know what I'm doing for my birthday now!
Absolute genius!!! Grin

ImtheSantaAnaWinds · 21/02/2017 23:02

Oh my god, this sounds amazing. I fantasise about this all the time. I would need a really quiet hotel though, no bloody people banging doors at all hours.

I hope you have a fabulous time.

SparklyBusinessFuckingFairyNo1 · 21/02/2017 23:09

This sounds amazing! I'm going to ask for this for my 50th in a couple of years' time, Im a carer to H and the idea of sleeping on my own in a bed totally uninterrupted for as long as I want is just wonderful!

AtlantaGinandTonic · 21/02/2017 23:10

I don't think that YABU at all. I'm also an introvert and, whilst I love my DH and DC to bits, I often imagine having a night away to myself to just do whatever I fancy. Whatever I fancy would more than likely be drinking copious amounts of hot chocolate while lying in bed and reading a book.

Oh, and I've name changed. Not that I'm worried about my post outing me, I just fancied a different name. Grin

Xmasbaby11 · 21/02/2017 23:16

I would never do this myself as there would always be people I'd rather spend that time with. But I'm quite extroverted. My DH is an introvert. His idea of bliss is if I take the kids to my mum's for the weekend and he spends the entire weekend at home on his own! I must admit I would struggle to understand someone spending their birthday alone BUT I totally respect it.

KnitFastDieWarm · 21/02/2017 23:33

i'm doing this in a few weeks! going to a conference related to one of my interests to geek out and buy stuff i don't need, then a blissful evening all by myself with a book and a box of chocs and room service.

i'm a very social, outgoing introvert so my ideal birthday would involve a big night out or a party followed by a weekend on my own in a hotel - best of both worlds Grin

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