Feel like the MIL is taking over at 10 weeks

[Lauraw1989]

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and have only told both sets of parents and my DP's brother so far ...

My MIL is a nightmare! She keeps talking about stuff I don't want to talk about until after the scan. I told her about 10 times the previous night and my DP's dad also told her off as well.

Last night she said to me "I've started looking at prams I would like to buy and can I choose?". I just lost it and said can you please stop it and so did DP's dad. Her reply was it's just your hormones ARGHHH! Surely she should be letting me look at stuff for MY baby first?

I understand she is excited but I feel like she is taking over. This is her at 10 weeks I dread to think what she is going to be like the next 6 months.

I was crying all the way home. My DP understands why I'm annoyed and he said he will have a word with her but can't guarantee she will listen.

osirus yes
And it is something that really upsets me even now, weeks later.
I have awful social anxiety and I don't like people touching my face, my family know this I just didnt think it was something that I had to warn people about. She grabbed my face and said that to make sure I got the message.
I feel really awful about it

I just think it's early, you're adjusting to the pregnancy with MS, tiredness etc. MIL is overly excited which whilst annoying isn't the end of the world. The opposite would gain just as much criticism.

I read posts about MIL and it makes my heart sink that they're regarded with such vitriol.

I would always say, many years down the line, would I be happy if my child's partner did that to me.

My sister and my nephew chose the pram for poor neice's (his wife's) baby.....sister=mother-in-law from hell....and she wont be told by anyone...

I dont think the poor girl got a say..:-(. But I think she has had her own back by ignoring the front door when my sister has called, before her husband has come home...leaving my sister to wait in her car !!

My DP text his DM and she said she didn't realise she had upset me. Although she said she didn't realise I was superstitious although my DP did text back and say it's not about we just want to be the ones to talk about this stuff together when we are ready

But no-one in their right mind thinks a first-time mum and dad want to let someone else choose their pram!

Wouldnt have bothered me at all.

Family chose and bought cot and probably loads of other stuff as well.

You need to tell her that you feel by her talking like this at such an early stage of your pregnancy is making you uneasy. Explain that when the times right you want to have the pleasure and experience of mooching for baby stuff and that you can't do that if she's claiming all the purchases at this stage, where do to fit in?

I had this but with my sil. When I was 5 weeks, yes 5 weeks to the day, she bought baby bottles for us. Then she announced she'd seen a cot set she wanted and loved and found the range of chairs/mats to go with it and it all escalated from there. I bit my tongue at the bottles, but the other stuff she just announced she was buying at 5 weeks like it was no issue made me say something. My dp wouldn't so I had to and I sent her a text explaining how she's going too over the top and isn't letting me have the chance at looking when it's the right time. It's crazy how some people don't understand that it's YOUR baby and that big things like prams, bedding, bottles, chairs etc are things mum and dad want to look for! Why would you want anyone else to choose it?

She's had her go! She needs to back off.

I think most parents would want to pick out their own pram. Thats pretty normal for many reasons!

I was quite sad and would spend hours looking at prams etc in the Argos catalogue. This was before I was even pregnant. So if my mil had even dared to suggest taking that role she would have been shot down in flames.

Poor you blue, she sounds really overbearing.

Oh way too early to be talking about buying prams. We said to DIL we would like to pay for the pram when the time came because my In Laws paid for our pram. She went shopping to John Lewis with her Mum, looked at lots of stuff chose what she liked. Sent a link to us we ordered the pram her Mum ordered the nursery furniture. There is plenty of time before you need to worry about the gear you will need. Congratulations by the way

I sympathise. I am 10 weeks pregnant with my second, we didn't tell MIL but she guessed as I kept being sick during her last visit!

We already have a lovely DS and have been through many boundary issues. Just after he was born she would turn up with the whole family and tell everyone in what order they could hold him and for how long

She's calmed down a lot since then. I was feeling great towards her until she started referring to this baby as "her little princess". It makes me hope it's a boy as I don't care either way!