Was this woman unreasonable to shout at my daughter?

[oceanstars]

I was swimming with DD (18 months) and she was excited and shouting a bit and splashing.

A woman kept giving her daggers and tutting whenever she swam past and saying "too many children." Then when she got splashed shouted at DD "and you can just stop that!"

AIBU to think you don't shout at babies?

Grumpy woman who hates kids and thought her membership had bought her guaranteed child free swimming away from the riff raff. Ignore!
Not calling you riff raff by they way but have experienced adults behaving worse than toddlers when they think they have paid extra for special privileges above and beyond what they actually have.

Littleoldlady a lot of our membership local pools are heavily marketed to affluent mums: they surely have equal right to be annoyed if they find their cleaner/warmer/posher kids session has tutting adults? If people think that's what they are paying for, that's their problem.

And as the OP states it was a toddler session!

OP, it takes all sorts so don't let it ruin your day. You have a lovely DD and the other swimmer has a poor temperament. I know who I'd rather be.

Oh and if you're PAYING for a mum and baby posh session one of the things you've paid for is not being on tenterhooks lest you annoy others. Nothing to do with manners: that's the function of the session.

I've extended the "politeness" of having the common sense to check whether something is a kid-priority or adult-priority activity before expecting people to moderate their behaviour.

I don't sit on the fence about people who don't do this. They drive me mad. It's sheer laziness or stinginess usually dressed up as delicate offence.
The other woman was being willfully ignorant. You can't swim right by a toddler session at a private pool and expect the paying clientele who have planned their day avoiding YOUR adult session times to moderate their behaviour further to accommodate you.

The situation would have been different during an evening swim or adult lane session.

"Ok so how do you prevent a baby splashing?"

You don't. But you keep your baby out of splashing range if it's not a baby session.

Perhaps she had mental health issues?

I know people who suggest this are usually doing it in a well-meaning, let's-find-an-excuse-for-this-person-to-make-them-seem-less-awful way, but it's really unhelpful for people who do have mental health issues to have it assumed that any MH condition will include rude, inappropriate or odd behaviour.

Sometimes people are just dicks.

I'd have given her a good splash myself and told her to pick on someone her own size, i.e. me.

But you said you don't allow babies to splash. And now you say you can't stop them. So which is it?

Yes you can move your baby away from swimmers. Or you can keep yourself out of the range of a baby if they're splashing. And the. You won't have cause to shout at a baby.

Splashy babies are beautiful.

"But you said you don't allow babies to splash. And now you say you can't stop them. So which is it? "
Oh donmt be silly. You don't let babies splash people who don't want to be splashed.

Loudly "Darling, let's move away from the nasty old lady who is being mean to you. Watch me bombing!"

I think that it's a tad patronising to assume she had SN. Ime people who go to swimming pools can be a bit odd.

I swim 15k a month. You ain't wrong there, there are some right odd ones.

I'd have told said lady to get out of the pool tbh, I can't abide those who want to keep their hair dry.

SWIM ffs!

And yeah, double handed push splash from me to nasty shouty lady.

YANBU unless you kept going into her lane!

On the fence also. I don't like getting splashed in the face either. I don't have any SNs. My DS does. The reason I don't like getting splashed in the face is because I nearly drowned as a child. Whole needed rescuing by coastguards job. It doesn't matter that I'm not in the sea. That I'm just in a local swimming pool. It's that fear of having my face covered in water = I'm drowning again. I have two DCs and I still try and be as 'normal' as possible for them so still take them swimming etc and DD has swimming lessons. Of course it was an overreaction to tell an 18month old off but we have no idea why the woman behaved how she did. Although why she went swimming in half term and expected not to encounter any children is a mystery. Next time OP, don't do any activity with your DC. Stay at home and make DD play on the xbox (I'm joking in case the irony is lost on some).

Missed the toddler session bit was just focusing on the members only private pool thing. Having been a member at some of those places there are a high percentage of lane swimmers who would be appalled by the presence of offspring. And most of them wouldn't have a clue it was half term.

Local pool is full of kids during half term even when the lanes are on - it makes it miserable for people who want to swim properly. Not worth getting angry about. But it is annoying. Pools should offer adult only time.

What the f**k?!
How ridiculous can you be?! Shouting at a baby like that! If she had done it to mine, I would have gone for her! That's made my blood boil!

It's not OK to shout at an 18 month old child unless you are shouting something like "STOP" because they're about to run into the road, or push another child down the stairs, or something equally dangerous is about to occur.

You and your daughter's father are the only people who have the right to shout at your daughter, if you feel it's needed. That woman was being a complete twat, and bloody ignorant at that if she was offended by a toddler's splashing. It's a swimming pool ffs!

This reminds me of going swimming at a fun session when I was about 10.....as you can imagine there was inflatables, splashing and general anarchy. A woman swam passed us with her neck stuck out the water like a particularly grumpy giraffe. Amazingly she got splashed and went on an immediate rant about how she'd literally just got out the hairdressers. She genuinely could not understand why she suddenly had a bunch of pressure teens crying with laughter

Ooh I'd think I'd had to respond to her shouting at my 18 month old. I quite like the idea of the double handed push splash but then would have to let go of ds Which probably would be a bad idea.

You could have passed him to a friend or random stranger and then followed her around doing wildly enthusiastic butterfly.

She's the crazy, ride one. Probably one of those people who believed / believe that children/babies should be seen and not heard. She should find a time to swim that's not around child hours/sessions - that's what most normal, considerate people would do, unless she's never had children and doesn't understand? Though I think she's probably just an idiot.

No YANBU there is never an excuse to shout at a baby,your poor DD.What sort of person thinks it's normall to shout at an 18month old child!

In answer to your question, no she (or anyone else) should not be shouting at your child unless they were about to put themselves in immediate danger. Which clearly isn't the case.
Regarding being in her way, I'm on the fence on that one. I swim most days in a private members pool and it does annoy when I can't swim lengths, especially when the pool is fairly empty and children (I'm not talking toddlers) seem to think it's ok to jump right in front of you. That is partly bad management though as really there should be a lane or 2 marked off.