Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Was this woman unreasonable to shout at my daughter?

102 replies

oceanstars · 19/02/2017 20:56

I was swimming with DD (18 months) and she was excited and shouting a bit and splashing.

A woman kept giving her daggers and tutting whenever she swam past and saying "too many children." Then when she got splashed shouted at DD "and you can just stop that!"

AIBU to think you don't shout at babies?

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 19/02/2017 21:42

You don't shout at babies.

But neither do you allow babies to splash strangers,

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 19/02/2017 21:45

Sorry OP. There was a couple of threads a while ago with someone VERY irate that children were in the swimming pool when they technically shouldn't have been. It was a "members and hotel guests pool". The threads were very split over whether she was BU or not.

Original poster

oceanstars · 19/02/2017 21:47

I didn't Bert but I was holding DD and she was kicking and the bloody woman kept swimming near us!

OP posts:

passmethewineplease · 19/02/2017 21:51

It's her own fault OP.

You and your 18 month did nout wrong. Don't give it a second thought. Did she expect your DD to turn around and apologise for her unruly behaviour?

Italiangreyhound · 19/02/2017 21:53

Of course it is always wrong to shout at babies.

i think this lady may have had some special needs or issues of her own. The tutting and the shouting.

I've worked (as a volunteer) with people with special needs, who look like any other person, but react quite differently under stress. Like standing stock still in the middle of the road or shouting at total strangers "Well you might think it is alright." Or words to that affect.

Don't think about it anymore.

MabelMcP · 20/02/2017 09:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

oceanstars · 20/02/2017 09:06

Haha she sounds bonkers!

OP posts:

MabelMcP · 20/02/2017 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

xStefx · 20/02/2017 15:27

wow, what a strange woman. I would have dunked her under and given her something to tut about if she shouted at my kid.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 20/02/2017 15:33

Reminded me of when I was a teenager and went swimming with a friend. Every week we saw a woman with huge 'up do' and full make up and we shamelessly took turns trying to splash her!! ob very immature and totally out of order (slaps own hand) but was great!!

Scoose · 20/02/2017 15:36

You sound lovely mabel describing somebody on the spectrum as "a nutter" and "batshit crazy"

WannaBe · 20/02/2017 15:38

I think that it's a tad patronising to assume she had SN. Ime people who go to swimming pools can be a bit odd.

I remember at my local pool a woman having a go at me because I swam in the wrong side of the lane. She could have been polite but she wasn't. And I remember another woman having a stand-up argument with someone because she was swimming in the stretch of water she always liked to swim in.

EweAreHere · 20/02/2017 16:01

hahahaha re the hotel pool inquiries. I wondered the same thing. :)

OP, if you're members and had a right to be in the pool doing your own thing with your little one, I would have complained to the people in charge and asked them to have a word. Children splash, end of. People who swim near children may get splashed, end of. Pools are full of water. She may need a reminder of this interesting face.

LittleMum91 · 20/02/2017 16:04

YANBU. That is horrible!! Unfortunately I am the least confrontational person in the world so I would have just stared into the back of her head. Whilst contemplating dunking her several times.

Kitsandkids · 20/02/2017 17:18

Oh good, a swimming thread. I've been waiting to rant about this for a while! I quite often take my 2 swimming on a Friday straight after school. A few times there have been adult swimmers who have looked annoyed that they haven't been able to finish their length as my 2 have been in the way in the shallow end, or just looked annoyed that there are children there in the first place. I don't allow screaming and shouting, I tell them off if they start splashing (though they try to splash each other, not strangers) and I generally try to keep them contained in the same area of the shallow end. It is a big pool and they're never in the deep end but I have noticed a few dirty looks. But, my point is, surely if as an adult you go swimming at 3.30pm on a Friday, in a public pool, you would expect there to be kids in the pool?! Plus, at this pool there is adults only swimming every week night after 7 or 8, so it's not like the pool is always full of children!

Thinnestofthinice · 20/02/2017 17:22

'Oh good, a swimming thread' made me laugh!

Bad management from the pool owners OP, they should split the pool into lane swimmers and fun swim if it is big enough. You did nothing wrong though, just ignore. She should be having a go at the people in charge, not you and your baby who have also paid for your swim time.

MrsRJCxx · 20/02/2017 17:41

I'd have splashed her completely covering her. Did she expect to stay dry? 😂😂

Grilledaubergines · 20/02/2017 17:48

But neither do you allow babies to splash strangers

Haha brilliant. Yep OP, you should have given your baby a pre-pool briefing.

BertrandRussell · 20/02/2017 17:54

The baby may not need a pre pool briefing- but some parents obviously do.

Grilledaubergines · 20/02/2017 17:59

Ok so how do you prevent a baby splashing? I'm not sure 3 metres of gaffer tape around them is the done thing. Babies get excited in water. Learning to swim creates splashing in adults and children.

angeldelightedme · 20/02/2017 17:59

was she one of those ladies with the immaculately coiffeured hair who swim 'granny breaststroke' up and down never getting their head wet?

angeldelightedme · 20/02/2017 18:04

Especially in a small hotel pool though it is kind of rude to splash.Some people really don't like water in their face..When mine were that age and furiously splashing, I turned them away so nobody else got splashed.

littleoldladywho · 20/02/2017 18:09

Hmm I'm a bit fence-sitty on this one. Lots of people pay the membership to private pools so they don't have to deal with public swim/ rowdy kids, and can slip in for an hour from work, do some lengths in peace and quiet etc etc. I imagine it can be a bit frustrating if you have forked out your members-only fee on that basis, and then find out you are sharing your space with over-excited toddlers.
(Not saying toddlers shouldn't be over-excited, or splash, just that I imagine it would be something of a shock if you had a private membership on the unwritten understanding that it sheltered you from that sort of thing).
I've had my fair share of excited toddlers in pools, but I stop them wildly splashing if there are people about, end especially if they aren't in a kid's pool, or a kid's session (some of these private places do run fun sessions and the lane swimmers know to avoid those times).
I've used a few membership only pools and can't really remember any kids being there except in the fun sessions - the mum's that want to swim out their kids in the in site crèche.
She was probably just a bit shocked that her expected calm and peaceful swim had been unexpectedly disrupted. (And prepared to make it known lol)

CrohnicallyPregnant · 20/02/2017 18:14

I am autistic. I go swimming, but I dislike being splashed in the face- if I know it's coming then I can brace myself and tolerate it but unexpected splashing sends my skin all crawly and can contribute to sensory overload.

Therefore, if there is someone splashing in the pool, I stay out of splashing distance. If the pool is too busy for me to do that, it's too busy for me to swim comfortably and I make a note of the day/time and avoid in future!

littleoldladywho · 20/02/2017 18:15

I also really hate getting splashed in the face because parents are letting their little ones go crazy in the near vicinity. It's fine when there is a good safety distance for the splashing - I just don't like getting a face full of water, and having managed my own kids on that score I expect others to have the same courtesy for other users. It's not rocket science - you see someone coming and you point the kid in the opposite direction. And if it happens inadvertently you grab the offending limb to stop the flailing and apologise instantly - it should be a reflex if you are aware of other public users.
Hm. Maybe not as fence sitty as I thought.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5