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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Gymstergram...

94 replies

Hesdeadjim · 18/02/2017 23:27

I'll warn you, I'm a bit upset and rambley so this will probably be a bit of a rant Sad

So DP and I are both just about morbidly obese, but both are making a concerted effort to get our weights under control (we've both lost 1st 4lbs each since the new year). We've both gone on eating plans and we go to the gym 3 times a week. I run (try doing that with 9st of extra weight, it's bloody hard work!) and DP bikes for 30 mins, then we do 30 minutes weight training. I'm telling you all this so you understand we know what we're doing in the gym, we have a goal in mind and we really push ourselves while we are there. Hopefully this will help you understand my pending rage.

Today I was half way through my cardio (c25k program) when a group of girls in crop tops and shorts come into the gym chatting away and looking as if they were going to get moving in the core mats/ free weights. I didn't really pay any attention at first, but after a couple of minutes they started pointing at me, then turning their backs away from me, then a couple of seconds later laughing. I get it, fat people running is funny. Not a problem.

Then, a couple of minutes later one of the girls gets on the treadmill next to me and starts mimicking my running pattern (3 min run, 1 min walk, repeat) in time with me. There's another girl behind her with her phone out filming her and I imagine me too. I stopped my run early and headed over to DP because I was pretty rattled.

I told him what was going on and asked if we could do our weights then leave. He agreed so we got going on the weight machines.

We needed the core mats but these girls were all lying down on them not doing much taking selfies, and arranging the kettle bells casually and taking photos of them, I imagine for instagram or something.

Eventually we exhausted what we could do without the core mats and went over to ask how long they'd be on them because we would like to use them when they were done.. they didn't really give us a straight answer so I got a bit pissed off and said 'you know, I've heard the kettle bells work better if you lift them'... I got a response of 'cheeky cow' and 'fat bitch who does she think she is' sort of stuff, but it made DP laugh so that was ok.

We decided to leave, so as we left we said to the front desk that the group of girls were making life uncomfortable for other gym users and told them about the treadmill thing and the mats thing, but they said unless they witnessed it there was nothing they could do.

I now don't want to go to the gym in case they are there and it's really knocked me :(

WIBU to find another gym?

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 20/02/2017 12:06

Those girls sound like the sort who join the gym, go a few times and then disappear into the ether - thank goodness.

You sound like you are doing brilliantly OP. Keep up the good work and I wish you every success in meeting your target.

I love going to the gym. I am able to go in the morning when there is a mixture of middle aged/retired people of varying sizes and who are all extremely friendly.

Badcat666 · 20/02/2017 12:14

Id report them to reception, a lot of gyms have a no filming/ pictures policy and they were being a bullying bitches. Please don't give up just because of a bunch of air headed hyenas. Well done at the weight loss so far! You go girl!

Runny · 20/02/2017 12:28

Unfortunately you get these kinds of nasty bitches in all gyms. Rail thin with zero muscle definition and tone, full faces of make up that's more suited to a nightout, either walking slowly on the treadmill or peddling on the bikes a barely breaking into a sweat. I find them quite pathetic. Why do they even go to the gym anyway? Other than to show off?

GlassSeahorse · 20/02/2017 16:11

Well done for reporting them! I hope you get to see them being booted out Grin!

Clearoutre · 20/02/2017 16:32

The gym should ban them for body shaming & invasion of privacy as the LA Fitness did here (admittedly they had evidence) - this woman is also now being prosecuted.

www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-dani-mathers-body-shaming-gym-ban-20160715-snap-story.html

If it happens again I would hesitate to post any incidents & management response to twitter. It would be very easy for them to introduce a no film/photography policy to protect gym-goers with or without evidence.

Clearoutre · 20/02/2017 16:32

wouldn't*

PuddleJumper01 · 20/02/2017 23:44

Jim you're amazing. I'm so glad you went back and that your PT is on your side. And you're so TOTALLY going to smash it. Go you!

I go to 4 - 5 exercise classes a week, and have been doing so for 3 years and I'm still way bigger than you are (but I don't eat what you eat!)

ForeverLivingMyArse (love your username) here's some guaranteed zero fat Cake just for you. Eat it and you'll lose lbs!

Hesdeadjim · 21/02/2017 21:07

Haaaa I've just found them on instagram and on facebook, silly girls tagged the gyms account!

No video of me, but a very artistic shot of her feet next to the kettle bell she didn't lift Hmm there's also a shot of the back of one of the girls on the treadmill, with the hashtag 'workhardslayhard'... too bad she was in there a grand total of 90 seconds! Grin.. those were the ones the gym was tagged in, but on their own feeds there's a TON of selfies where they are pouting in the gym mirrors with #gymbunnies.. I'm crying laughing!!

OP posts:
fluffmonkey1980 · 21/02/2017 21:44

Unfortunately these kind of people exist if every gym, but has someone who attends regular, I can only say one thing, the haters will always hate, if it wasn't you it would have been someone else... train hard, eat right and ignore them, takes dedication and motivation to get to the gym regardless of size so well done to you both - you guys rock :)

WeddingsAreStressful · 21/02/2017 22:05

That's just horrible. You need to remember 1) most people don't really notice/study in detail the other people at the gym (I know I'm more concerned with my own workout than anything else) and 2) those who do, will think what a great job you're doing. Those girls are bullies and you just happened to be there so they could target you. If it weren't for you, they would have picked someone else. Please don't let this discourage you!!! You're doing so well!!!

PuddleJumper01 · 21/02/2017 23:47

Ok, so they laughed at you (which was horrible) but they weren't out to try and publicly shame you. They sound silly and insensitive, but not outright cruel. More bigging up themselves over nothing, really.

SundialShadow · 21/02/2017 23:58

Ignore these tools, if they are not.kicked out of the gym soon, they will get bored and go elsewhere for their fun.
You keep on doing the great job you are doing.

kimann · 22/02/2017 00:03

You can (and are!) doing something to change your weight - it'll all come off and you'll be a changed person in no time. They on the other hand will just remain vile people who are mean. I feel sorry for them. Good luck to you OP Flowers

Aeroflotgirl · 22/02/2017 09:31

Puddle they were cruel, bodyshaming op, teasing her, and making her feel uncomfortable and bashing her self confidence. They were, some people thrive on shaming others, because their self worth is so low.

PuddleJumper01 · 23/02/2017 00:32

Thank you for your explanation, Aero, although I had picked up on all that because I did read the thread.

One of the central points was that the OP was aware she was being filmed whilst these kids were ripping the piss and she assumed it was going to end up on instagram or whatever social media these children were using.

But they didn't do that. They didn't post pictures of a stranger over the internet for other people to laugh at. So my point was, although their behaviour was horrible, they weren't actually setting out to deliberately humiliate her.
That makes them less cruel to me.

But thank you for taking the time to explain.

Hesdeadjim · 23/02/2017 06:47

puddle oh good, so despite making me feel like a whale in spandex and deliberately causing distress to another human being, they chose not to share the fact they are horrible people on social media so that makes them better people?!

I don't for one second think not sharing it was for my benefit, if it was they wouldn't have shit on me in the first place. I imagine they didn't share it because it wouldn't have played well for their own reputations, not mine.

There's nothing to say they haven't shared it among friends and likeminded asshats people...

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 23/02/2017 10:51

puddle you are wrong, it was intentional. Bullying bodyshaming behaviour. They are known troublemakers. How do you know they did not share that film that they took of op. These are the sorts of people, that put people off going to the gym. Even at size12, I would probably be laughed at by them.

flossisboss · 23/02/2017 12:02

Filming someone in that situation, without their knowledge or consent, and sniggering about it is fucking offensive, bullying and immature behaviour. What they intended to do with the footage is neither here nor there (although had they posted it publicly that would have escalated the severity, obviously). I don't think I would have been able to control my rage.

OP, well done for all you've achieved so far and not letting these cruel little wasters scare you off.

flossisboss · 23/02/2017 12:03

Meant to add - just because they didn't post it on Instagram doesn't make it any less cunty behaviour.

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