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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That my first thought was "YEY- I can start a parking thread!" (with diagram)

107 replies

FucketyFuckFuckers · 18/02/2017 22:00

...even though I am pretty sure that this complaint will be ignored and nothing will actually happen... Hmm

NC for this just in case. God, I’m such a wimp. Really hope no-one recognises this.

Lived here a few years. Neighbours are all nice enough. Take in each other’s parcels, exchange Christmas cards, etc... all very pleasant. Until today. Got home and DH gets into a bit of boring football talk general chit chat with the bloke opposite us while I rush inside to escape change the baby.

After I'd gone, the bloke next door to the one opposite us pops out to join their crap conversation chatter and tells them "just so you know, I've put in a complaint to the council about people parking outside our houses"

DH and bloke opposite were a bit Confused so he goes on to add that it's "getting ridiculous" that "so many visitors" are parking on the road instead of on driveways. Reckons he's struggling to get on his.

FWIW the houses on our street are all on a slope. Our driveway and the drives on our side slope down towards the houses, the ones opposite slope up towards their houses. This tends to mean that all the people on our side drive in and reverse out and on the opposite side they reverse in and drive out forwards. This is never/had never been a problem as far as I'm aware. It's just the way it's always been.

Anyway, he likes to reverse on. Fine. But apparently half a road and a pavement isn't enough room. So he's complained.

Houses are 1970s with plenty of room - double driveways and garages and a decent sized road/pavement. He has plenty of room. Not near enough to shops/schools to park unless you're visiting one of the houses, so there's only ever the odd one or two cars parked, completely legally, on the road. For example, there are ZERO cars parked on the road RIGHT NOW. That’s how quiet it is.

Can't work out if he was having a dig at DH and bloke opposite as he doesn’t think we should be ‘allowing’ visitors to park on the road (most of ours park on our drive as if we squeeze forward there's just about room for 4 cars, but if there’s not enough room or they can’t be arsed they of course park on the fucking road).

OR he is possibly being a bit of a twat about the house next door to us (opposite his house). The people who live there all have learning disabilities (think it's called a halfway house, but sorry if that's not the right word). Anyway there are carers there 24/7 and although there is a double driveway I think when they have different shift patterns and the carers are coming and go at different times, etc it's often easier for one them to park on the road. And it is usually just one of them. One car. Which is absolutely fine. Never had a problem with it myself as THERE IS FUCKING LOADS OF ROOM!!! Not sure if/why he would have a problem with them and why they might be any worse than guests of ours who park there? Because they do it more often maybe? One of them has a 4x4 but even then there's plenty of room for everyone. Even if it was a tight squeeze, you can't just ban big cars can you?

If it's relevant, this neighbour has a low wall round his front lawn that has clearly been damaged by a vehicle. Possibly someone reversing into it. There is no way if that was the cause of the damage, that it was the fault of a parked car on the road opposite and not the driver of the car! Grin

Surely his complaint to the council will be ignored? Isn’t the alternative to road parking no parking/double yellow lines? Then anyone who visits will have to park further away and walk?!

AIBU to be a little bit more excited about this than I should be? I've been interrogating DH all evening. He thinks I'm over-interested and has stopped answering my questions. WTF does this bloke think the council are going to do??

That my first thought was "YEY- I can start a parking thread!" (with diagram)
OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 18/02/2017 22:47

So that is a computer generated diagram??

HappyFlappy · 18/02/2017 22:48

Oh joy!

Parking!!!

HappyFlappy · 18/02/2017 22:50

Multi-coloured diagram!!!

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 18/02/2017 22:52

You used a font in your parking diagram? Respect.

SurferRona · 18/02/2017 22:56

Really superb diagram OP! this should go into classics for that alone Grin
Your neighbour is being an arse and the council will laugh at him.

FucketyFuckFuckers · 18/02/2017 22:56

I couldn't write "damaged" in small enough letters when I tried freehand...

OP posts:
HappyFlappy · 18/02/2017 22:56

Computer=generated font, colours, unruly grass, damaged wall - we CAN'T let this be settled amicably!

there HAS to be a way to escalate hostilities!

Think, damn you - THINK!!!!!!!

CatAstronaut · 18/02/2017 22:58

Very impressive computer diagram, OP!

YABU to think that the council wouldn't side with you when they see that diagram!

PageStillNotFound404 · 18/02/2017 22:58

I'm not even that bothered by parking threads but this one is immense purely because of That Diagram.

FucketyFuckFuckers · 18/02/2017 22:59

TBH it's so ridiculous I can't imagine any drama.

Neighbour: "I don't like people parking near my house"
Council: "then move"

  • case closed -

Bit gutted really...

OP posts:
lapetitesiren · 18/02/2017 22:59

Put some penguin bollards across his driveway. That might escalate things. And add them to the diagram.
I love a good parking thread. Cheers me up.

leghoul · 18/02/2017 23:03

Did you use an ipad/pencil combo OP? misses parking issue entirely sorry

HappyFlappy · 18/02/2017 23:05

^Neighbour: "I don't like people parking near my house"
Council: "then move"^

- case closed -

NNNNNOOOOOOoooooooooo!

This must not happen!

Perhaps you or one of your neighbours could deliberately park in a way that was perfectly legal but would p*ss off your complaining neighbour? With a bit of luck he will start pushing angry notes through your letterbox and we can take it further.

Hobbes8 · 18/02/2017 23:06

Why does complainant park his car at a jaunty angle? We had a pointless bit of wall taken away so we could more easily park two cars on our drive, despite there being loads of on street parking. Our neighbour opposite is always keeping tabs on whose visitors are parking where in the street. It's baffling to me as an ex Londoner. There's loads of space!

NatalieRushman · 18/02/2017 23:13

A+ diagram. We can only wish for a nice argument or two, seeing as the outcome is extremely likely to be the council laughing at wanker neighbour.

TheProblemOfSusan · 18/02/2017 23:15

YOU NEED SOME PENGUIN BOLLARDS

fans self sorry, it was that diagram, it's so beautiful I came over all funny.

kittybiscuits · 18/02/2017 23:19

Top class diagram StarHalo

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 18/02/2017 23:19

This thread deserves to be in ckassics based solely on your diagram op. It's brilliant.

He's being a knob & was trying to garner the support of more neighbours. Nothing will be done. Well they might send someone out if he moans enough but only to shut him up.

TheFlyingFauxPas · 18/02/2017 23:19

What are we calling that font?

BoomBoomsCousin · 18/02/2017 23:19

Diagram is lovely. What font did you use?

JayZed · 18/02/2017 23:27

Can you not brick his windows??? and draw another diagram of you doing it

HappyFlappy · 18/02/2017 23:31

I'm saddened that the diagram ratings have gone from A++++ to a mere A+.

Come on, you later reviewers! How often do you get computer fonts, collapsed walls, overgrown grass (with a suspicion of dandelions, methinks), colour-coded objects, direction arrows, indications of incline AND a car at a distinctly "jaunty" angle (Well-observed, Hobbes. Very well observed indeed.)

This is a cornucopia of delights which it would be shameful to waste.

OP - would you consider smearing dog-poo on his door handles and slipping an abusive text underneath his windscreen wipers? Just for us?

Pleeeeeaaaase!?

You can have Gin

HappyFlappy · 18/02/2017 23:31

That's the spirit, JayZed!

I'm glad one person is on my side!

HappyFlappy · 18/02/2017 23:33

OP - why to contact the council and complain about his car being parked at a jaunty angle? Say it offends your aesthetic sensibilities.

It is just as valid a complaint as his and will cheer up the drudges in the traffic department no end.

HappyFlappy · 18/02/2017 23:34

*why not - not why to