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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send DS1 (17) up to his room...

62 replies

rightsofwomen · 18/02/2017 21:07

if he's just sitting in the lounge watching you tube on his phone with his earphones on?

Phone use is relaxed at home, we can often both be 1/2 watching telly and 1/2 on our phones in the evening, but at least there can easily be conversation.

With his earphones on he's isolating himself.

All I was planning on doing was the tesco shop, but it's really got my goat as it seems to have crossed a line. And the loud laughing is really annoying me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
BrownEyedLady · 18/02/2017 21:07

Nah! Do it nicely though.

SaintsFever · 18/02/2017 21:10

I was going to say yabu until you said about the laughing. That would really annoy me and I'd have to ask the other person if they'd be better in another room.

terrythetrex · 18/02/2017 21:11

What's really the problem. You're on your phone seems a bit hypocritical to send if off for doing the same. Although I would say about keeping noise down

Trifleorbust · 18/02/2017 21:14

Laughing would annoy me. Why would you send him to his room just because he wasn't talking to you, though?

Original poster
rightsofwomen · 18/02/2017 21:16

I'm not on my phone, I'm on my lap top and can still hear what's going on around me.

I can't pinpoint why it's annoyed me, that's why I'm asking.

OP posts:
TheCakes · 18/02/2017 21:19

Headphones = I'm ignoring you and want you to ignore me too.

Up you go, kiddo...

NoCapes · 18/02/2017 21:19

YABU

Doobydoo · 18/02/2017 21:20

He is in the same room though......I would be honoured! Grin

TheCakes · 18/02/2017 21:20

I might BU though.

Trifleorbust · 18/02/2017 21:20

If he was ten, I would say YANBU, but he is virtually an adult.

BifsWif · 18/02/2017 21:22

He's an adult. YABU.

EmeraldScorn · 18/02/2017 21:22

I don't think it's fair to banish him to his room for using his headphones, it's not a criminal offence and if it's annoying you why don't you go into another room or put some music on while you do the online shop!?

Original poster
rightsofwomen · 18/02/2017 21:25

Yes I can go to another room, but feels like I've been forced out of my own lounge by me teenage son.
I haven't of course.

I realise it's not a criminal offence...nor is not washing up, but that annoys me too. That's a strange bench mark.

He's not an adult, he's 17 and very much dependent on me.

OP posts:
BakeOffBiscuits · 18/02/2017 21:26

So youre on your laptop but don't like him being on his phone? Seems rather hypocritical, even if he has earphones in. I think it's mean to send him up to his room like a naughty child.
He's 17- you should be grateful he wants to spend time with you.

Original poster
rightsofwomen · 18/02/2017 21:29

We have a great relationship.

OP posts:
SecondsLeft · 18/02/2017 21:30

Well surely as the adult its ok for you to expect certain social skills - for example, dd is welcome to use duolingo to learn German, but needs to go to another room if she wants to speak into the microphone, otherwise its annoying, even if we are all on our devices, likewise laughing out loud can be annoying. So yes, I would ask him to keep it down or go upstairs.

BakeOffBiscuits · 18/02/2017 21:30

Good, let's hope that continues Grin

gleam · 18/02/2017 21:31

Possibly he's trying to be polite and not irritate you with his Youtube vids while you're on your laptop?

Original poster
rightsofwomen · 18/02/2017 21:31

There was no sending to room!
It was a request to go to his room if he didn't want to be sociable.

OP posts:
seriouslyenoughalready · 18/02/2017 21:32

YABU. Even though he's on his phone he's choosing to be sitting with you. So he's not isolating himself. For whatever reason, he is choosing to have company around him, whether engaging with you or not.
I think it's nice.
If you ask him to go to his room he might take that as you don't really want his presence around and then he will just take to his room, which I think would be sad.
YWNBU to ask him politely if he could laugh quietly though

gamerchick · 18/02/2017 21:32

I'd be honoured he was sharing the same space as me. I barely see mine much aside from a teenage shape flash past the door.

Go and watch over his shoulder, that should shift him.

Original poster
rightsofwomen · 18/02/2017 21:35

Oh I'm going to have to whatsapp him back downstairs now, aren't I? I feel bad.

He's a good lad.

I don't think I'm being hypocritical being on the laptop though, I can still communicate.

OP posts:
Original poster
rightsofwomen · 18/02/2017 21:37

snapchat even.....Grin

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 18/02/2017 21:37

My kids (20&22) often watch YouTube videos or catch-up TV on their iPads with headphones when they're at home. It wouldn't occur to us to send them to their rooms.

bigbluebus · 18/02/2017 21:40

I'm impressed he was in the room with you in the first place. Don't teenagers usually hide in their pits bedrooms?