to send DS1 (17) up to his room...

[rightsofwomen]

if he's just sitting in the lounge watching you tube on his phone with his earphones on?

Phone use is relaxed at home, we can often both be 1/2 watching telly and 1/2 on our phones in the evening, but at least there can easily be conversation.

With his earphones on he's isolating himself.

All I was planning on doing was the tesco shop, but it's really got my goat as it seems to have crossed a line. And the loud laughing is really annoying me.

AIBU?

We have quite a small living space. He's never done it before, usually hiding away in his room studying

What happens if you want to speak to them when they can't hear you? You wave to them? I kind of expect to be able to speak to people in the living areas of the house, but maybe that is not the modern way.

yaNbu
in fact-are you me?

my son does-sits with headphones on sniggering like beavis and butthead and it drives me insane

we always shout 'go upstairs!'
and he either does or stops with the laughing!

I'd be happy to have my 17yo sitting in the same room as us, he could be clog dancing for all I care (OK, that's a lie )

He slopes off to his precious XBox ...

I sympathise. My ds(17) and I are sat in the living room, both on our laptops and half watching telly, but also communicating (a little). When dsd, also 17 is home, she often does the same, but on occasion does the head-phone, loud-laughing thing. It's annoying but hasn't annoyed me to the point of sending her away yet. Having said that I see much less of her than ds, and if he were to do it a lot I'd have to say something!
Definitely not hypocritical. Headphones make all the difference.

I'm curious to know the demographic of people who have replied. Do you have or have had late teens?

Sounds like our house, ds3 is always plugged into his ear phones and laptop.

Go easy on him.

Yes ds3 is 17.

Sounds like me and DGS aged 9
The loud laughing is irritating so I ask him to go up to his room for a while. At his age (9) he gets told that he has till the prog ends then he puts iPad away.

It would annoy me too. It's like he doesn't care that you are there. Rude. And sending him to another room is your way of saying "What you are doing is keeping me out. So why don't you do it for real -- get your butt outta my sight." Hahah..

I have an 16, 18 and 50 yr olds who do this and I don't understand why it would annoy you. Would you have been annoyed if he had just had the sound playing? Or are you on your laptop whilst watching tv?

Genuinely don't get it, when I want to speak to my dear family I signal an they pop out/off an ear phone and off we go with our socialising

Yup DD1 is 16yo. Mad rude sometimes. Although is a good girl for sure and I adore her.

A hand wave and a raised eyebrow usually reminds said individual to keep the laughter to a snigger in a shared space. I think it is lovely that he wants to be with you rather than his bedroom.

Yep i have a 17 year old ds.....and a 9 year old one.

DD is only 12. It is the constant sniggering whilst watching YouTube that drives me insane.

That and the constant fiddling which makes noises he can't hear through his headphones but are rage inducing to me.

ds is nearly 7, i love listening to him giggle whilst watching youtube! but im aware that will change. right now his little giggle is a beautiful noise

What happens if you want to speak to them when they can't hear you? You wave to them? I kind of expect to be able to speak to people in the living areas of the house, but maybe that is not the modern way.

Do you expect him to provide you with entertainment? You're sitting on your laptop! Do you always sit not doing what you want to do incase someone might want to talk to you about something banal that can totally wait?

He's not doing anyone any harm, you are doing your own thing too.

He's nearly an adult, he can do what he likes.

in another way it could be said he was being considerate, you are on your laptop and he's using the headphones to not disturb you, (perhaps forgetting about the laughing) i wouldn't class it as intentionally zoning you out ignoring you

I have a 17 yo and older ones.

"You should be grateful he wants to spend time with you"

What a load of old CRAP! What have we come to where we have to be grateful for any second of time our adolescent offspring deign to spend with us? Not on my watch - we are all grateful for EACH OTHER

Not on my watch - we are all grateful for EACH OTHER

It's saturday night. Cant they have some down time or do they have to sit being grateful for you all the time?

If you can't be yourself in your own home where can you?

Agree with ShowMePotatoe.

FreeNikki -- he can have down time in his own room. When you sit in a common area, you must be open for the possibility of some "banal" chat with the other occupants. I love "banal" chats! Everything important I learned about DD16's personal life started with "banal" chats :)

If the OP wants to use her laptop and be similarly unsocial she can remove herself from the lounge and sit in her bedroom.

Then you see how ridiculous it is.....

Nikki -- reread OP's post. She made specific mention of her laptop use and her son's use of earphones.

Update - he came down again for a chat while I was still doing the online shop, ate some cucumber and balsamic vinegar (as you do) then went up to bed.

All's good in the rightsof household!

Night night x

I have teens who do exactly this - it really doesn't bother me. Laughing doesn't disturb me much, it doesn't tend to be constant so it's not a problem. I like it when they want to be around. They are pretty good at taking themselves off if they are being loud.