Parent and child parking! 12 and 9 year old?!

[AnySecondNow]

Just had a row with a woman in Tesco car park. I waited 15 minutes for parking - have to carry a fairly solid 6 month old to the shop (post cesarean - still not 100%!)

Anyway, this family were parked in child and parent bay with a 12 year old and a 9 year old. Both very capable of walking and opening doors! I commented that she was rude to park there, she said she was entitled to. Then her husband complained about me to the management!!!

Wtf!? Ainu??! Parent and child surely means young child that needs assistance??!

It always maddens me when people use the word "entitled" on these threads. It's total nonsense. A parent with a child is indeed entitled to park in a parent and child space. The supermarket, and therefore the owners of the land, are entitled to designate spaces for specific groups as they see fit. At my local Asda today I noted that the sign said up to age 12 (this being the legal maximum age that a child could be still in a car seat so I guess that makes sense).
I disagree with the heroes and martyrs who want women with their young children to have things as tough as possible. These spaces have helped me out numerous times when battling a car seat,
shopping bags etc.

it drives me to distraction when people without children use these spaces. They are absolutely not entitled to do so as the signs very clearly state. In the OP, this woman was probably not breaking any rules.

Also presumably there is a reason you have needed 3 c sections?
Don't the consultants advise no more children after the 2nd one because the healing after 3rd is more complicated.

Flower No. Anyone is entitled to park there. They aren't a legal requirement. Like BB spaces are.

If you randomly wait around for fifteen minutes to accost a total stranger with her kids like the OP did. Of course you're going to have a sense of entitlement about you.

Not rtft but how did you know the children were 12 & 9? Did they tell you??

She never actually said TryAnotherUsername. Not even on the other thread she's started up

I'm guessing she ranted at them for being too old to use them so the mum pointed out their ages and that's how she knows.
Personally anyone who waited around for fifteen minutes to accost me over a bloody parking space would have been told to piss off but maybe that's just me

The mum told the OP the children's ages. Presumably to point out that she was within the limits outlined on the signs - children under 12.

But I'm sorry you've had such horrible complications after your cs OP. Sounds horrible.

My mum used to park in them with my elderly gran. There was no age suggestion on the signs and yes they were parent and child.

My gran didn't have a blue badge but my mum liked that they were close to the store for distance and doors wide open to get her in and out

Not breaking any rules!

I'm just guessing the kids looked older than they actually were.

My DD stands at 5ft 1 at the age of 10. She doesn't look childlike at all. But she is still 10. It was probably a similar scenario here. The 9&12 year old didn't look 9&12.

My BIL is over 6ft tall. By the time my nephew was 12 his voice had broke and he was already towering over my sister heightwise too.

I don't really understand why the OP posted this (or the second thread ) when it's already happened and she's already so sure she was in the right and has no intention of changing her view, regardless of responses.

What was the point - to seek a lot of online validation and backslapping? That would be pointless even if it had already occurred.

Huh? No-one advised me about a third section not being safe. Just as well, as couldn't have got Ds out any other way for various reasons.

I had 3 sections. Think they used to say 2 only years ago wheb they used vertical incisions (my eldest is nearly 18 & he was transverse)

Away

But 'entitled' isn't a legal term here; I think what flowers meant was that the spaces are designed and designated for parents, hence some lazy bloke in a van who's just decided he fancies parking there despite being alone is not entitled to the space in the same way. It's not a legal matter, just a politeness issue. I sort of get the feeling that you'd be on the van driver's side if a parent struggling with a car seat begrudged him the space though... which is weird. Not everything's about the law; sometimes it's just about being considerate.

Here, it's parents with prams parking. That's how it should be. A 12yo is more than capable of walking from elsewhere in the car park to the shops. No stroller, no special parking.

I think the risks go up slightly with each one. There was a lady in the news last year who came round without her legs following a complication - but she'd had 6 elective c-sections previously. I think the risks of a third have to be far lower than the risks of not having it IYSWIM, but at the same time people should be (and are, I hope!) advised of the risks when having consecutive electives.

so what about a 14 year old in a car. Parent
Doesn't drive and occasionally go with family members. They use the Parent spaces. Although if confronted you would be told to go fuck yourselfs and mind your own bloody business.
What you wouldn't know is her age. Nor would you be told she has asd. And you sure as hell wouldn't be told they are parking as close to the store as possible if a quick exit is needed. And they really wouldn't tell you that because car rides to supermarkets aren't regular events there is no blue badge because it has fuck all to do with you.

If Tesco has a rule for up to 12, then yes, she's entitled, but personally I would never park with my big ones on a P&T spot. I park in them as long as I need to unbuckle seatbelts and help a child out of the car. As soon as they are able to do it themselves, I just park in a normal spot. So basically I completely agree with you being annoyed, but unfortunately this person was in the right. Tesco should change their rules though. Up to 6 AND allow heavily pregnang women to park there too.

Maybe we should make people with hidden disabilities or additional needs wear a badge, so that people like the OP can see they are worthy of the precious spaces? You know, like a yellow star or something

It's not a ploy, it's a way if trying to prioritise parking spaces near the shop for people that need them most. Your arguement smacks of someone dismissing the need for the designated space so that you can use them yourself. I hope that isn't the case.

It is a ploy and one that creates a sense of helplessness amongst certain groups of parents.

Shops wants families in as they generally spend more money. P and C spaces make them feel special so they feel wanted and go to the shop and spend lots of pennies.

No parent needs a special space. They may like them but that is very different.

I've never had a CS so don't know much about them but when I was in hospital having my 1st baby, the lady beside me was having her 5th CS (17 years ago)!
She also had a hysterectomy at the same time. She did say the Dr. hadn't been too impressed with her getting pregnant for the 5th time...
I remember thinking she's mad having 5 children guess who now has 5 children?

OP, get a grip! You have a 6 month old baby.. however do other mums manage after a CS and with other children with them?
Try online grocery shopping, all your groceries carried into your kitchen for you.. stress free!

I don't know why people feel so determined that it is no one else's business when someone is abusing designated spaces. It certainly is other people's business, that is how community works. I have watched people look into my van to see if there is a blue badge there when I am parked in be spaces and I am more than happy for that to happen. People that use a suite language to someone trying to look out for the more vulnerable members of society are really scummy.

*Abusive language (not suite)

Disabled spaces and p and c spaces are completely different things though.

Nonsense, they are genuinely helpful spaces. You may suspect alterior motives but it doesn't change how useful p&c spaces are when you have young children in car seats.

I was just making a point about being questioned regarding your 'entitlement' to use designated spaces. I have also had three very young children and a need for p&c spaces in the past, I would not mind people checking that I wasn't abusing those spaces either.