Is it unreasonable to think everyone is wrong

[iwasstarving]

If everyone said the same thing about something but you disagreed, would you reconsider or think they were wrong?

To answer your original question...

It depends on who everyone is. If it was a group of people who were friends/family of someone who was trying to control me, no it probably isn't a good idea to listen to them. They'll only have some info from the unkind person and that will have been spun to make you look bad.

If it was a friend or family member of mine who was trustworthy and proven to be kind then I would trust them, but only if I knew for sure they were telling me in their best interests.

If it was someone totally neutral to me and saying it for no reasons of control but to help me out then I probably would listen.

But, after all that, it is up to you what you do about it.

hate this is a different thread though. I get why people say rtft but that doesn't apply here.

You are right, everyone else is wrong. Btw you can have an eating disorder at any weight.

OP IS NOT THE EATING DISORDER POSTER.

maud well if people were reading the full thread they'd see the other thread linked.

If you are asking 'can the entire of mumsnet be wrong about the fact your husband is an abusive and controlling wanker', then I'm so sorry but the answer is no. And you already know that, I think. Please don't be ok with it - it's not right.

What's the issue? Are they saying you must be depressed about something and you aren't? That you've got a broken leg when you haven't? That your eyes are brown when they are actually blue?

You've been so vague people are guessing! Don't get arsey!

OP I've just read your other thread you're in a very unhealthy relationship, you really need this wanker out of your life, he's no good plus your DC will grow up witnessing your relationship and thinking this is normal.

It's not possible that everyone is wrong about your waste of space husband. If that's what you're asking.

I don't know what you're all talking about.

Well that feeling is mutual

If everyone said the same thing about something but you disagreed, would you reconsider or think they were wrong?
Op in this case, yes you need to rethink your relationship. Your husband is not a good man, he has undermined you, playing with your mind, and you are too frightened of him to go to the doctor
Please go and see your GP, see you are an amazing women who does not need this man in her life. You don't sound as if you have much support in RL, but you do have very good advice on your other thread. Be strong and break free from this man before he breaks you. It will be hard, but you can do it .

I'd ask myself three things:

Do I trust these people saying these things?
If I think I may sort of agree then on what parts
Am I too close to the issue to see the truth of it or are the people saying these things in the dark to certain truths?

I've read your other thread. If what you are asking is whether or not the advice you've received on that thread is correct, I'd say yes, yes it is. But it's very hard to see that when this advice has come from virtual strangers. But I think that you can feel that the advice rings true for you. And only you can decide whether or not you want to continue in your marriage or not.

Everyone has the right to personal autonomy. To be able to go to a doctor, to have a job, to make decisions that are right for them. You don't have that where you are now. A loving partner encourages us to be the 'best' us we can be. They want us to feel fulfilled and will do what they can to facilitate that for us. If they will not do that, then they don't want us to be happy, do they?

You are welcome, OP

I would echo what AcrossthePond says

And I link this for you (it's posted at the top of the Relationships topic) www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/698029-Right-listen-up-everybody

Ah right, I have seen your other thread OP, didn't make the connection to this one. Well, I earlier gave my rundown of how I would judge whether to listen to everyone who was saying the same thing. At the time, I presumed that 'everyone' was the people around you, people you knew. (Argh, never presume!) I didn't realise you were talking about everyone responding to your other thread.

So, let me amend my answer in the light of this new information.

I would consider:

Who is 'everyone'? Well, they are a wide variety of people, none of whom you know personally and who do not know you or your husband personally.

Since you do not know them, you are unable to ascertain whether they talk rubbish or are the wisest of the wise. There are however a large number of them, giving their individual opinions. It is possible to see a general consensus of opinion within the wide variety.

Do they have an agenda for what they are saying and could they derive any benefit from you reconsidering? Whilst some people on MN are pains in the arse who like to make others feel bad and post nasty comments to achieve that; that's pretty much the nearest to an agenda you'll get here. Nobody commenting on your thread could possibly benefit from you considering you might be wrong.

It's therefore fairly safe to assume that you are receiving a variety of opinions from a variety of people, mostly based on their life-experiences and offered honestly, with a smattering of bitterness/judginess from the arses. Most people on your thread will not be arses. The consensus opinion if extremely likely to be correct.

Can I also just offer - sometimes, and this applies to all of us - we cannot see the wood for the trees. We can become overwhelmed with all the tiny details of our life, exhausted by keeping all the plates spinning, and in those circumstances we often fail to see the big picture. We are right in the middle of it so of course we cannot see the edges. But the people responding to you here on MN - we are not in the middle of your life. We are at a distance, unaware of the details except the ones that you wrote down. We do not know the personalities, we have no emotional attachment to you or your husband, we are impartial regarding you two. And at this distance, we are better able to see the woods, rather than the individual trees.

Best wishes, iwasstarving. I think you have a lot to think about, and I wish you well.