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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My kids want a dog, but in reality are scared of them

21 replies

SarDan123 · 16/02/2017 16:01

Hi there. I have a 4 and 8 year old who keep asking me for a dog. My son is obessed with dogs in in real life is scared of hem. They have no reason to be, but have just not really been around them and have got a fear of them, any advise please?

OP posts:

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 16/02/2017 16:05

Just say no

Tell them when they are grown ups they can do what they like but you are not having one now. That's what I tell my children who are similar ages.

Beelands · 16/02/2017 16:06

Do you want a dog?

Wolfiefan · 16/02/2017 16:06

You can't get one whilst they are scared. What experience do you have with dogs? What can you do to teach them how to behave around dogs and not be scared?

WalkingCarpet · 16/02/2017 16:09

DD used to be terrified of dogs until we got a puppy and within a few days she had it in bed with her.

pigsDOfly · 16/02/2017 16:10

Doesn't matter how obsessed your DS is with dogs no one should get a dog because a child repeatedly asks for one and if he's fearful of them then you certainly shouldn't get one.

Not really sure what you're asking tbh.

Do you know anyone with a friendly dog that he could get to know. There are a great many dogs around, might be a good idea to try to help him overcome his fear.

Spam88 · 16/02/2017 16:10

They'll quickly get over their fear if you do get one.

Viewofhedges · 16/02/2017 16:10

Get in touch with your local rescue centre and find out when they are having a Fun Dog Show. Go along. There will be lots of well socialised dogs. Gradually introduce your kids to dogs, perhaps progressing to volunteering (as a family) to dog walk.

That way hopefully you can get your kids get used to dogs, and help out the rescue centre, without you doing anything so daft as getting an actual dog. (I mean that kindly)

The rescue centre might also have an 'adopt a dog' scheme which means you can help out a dog which is 'yours' without you having to bring one home.

brasty · 16/02/2017 16:10

I would take them to a rescue, tell them you are looking for a dog that is very very good with kids and not frightening, then see how they get on being introduced to dogs that are gentle and non yappy.

KindergartenKop · 16/02/2017 16:12

Dogs are a real pain in the arse. Don't get one just because your kids are badgering you for it.

Idefix · 16/02/2017 16:12

Do you want a dog? Can you commit the time needed for a dog?

There is no way I would get a dog because my dc wanted one.
We got our first dog 6 yrs ago about 6 months after my ds who was 12 at the time had been involved in an incidence of unprovoked aggression from a badly socialised/abused German shepherd. Ds became very fearful and we did not want for him to be permanently affected in this way.

Getting a dog is a huge commitment, I love mine but they are far more time consuming than my dc

Schwifty · 16/02/2017 16:13

Try volunteering at a shelter?

TheABC · 16/02/2017 16:16

A good compromise may be to volunteer walking for the dog's trust or a similar charity. Your son gets the chance to meet friendly dogs, the charity gets another exercise volunteer.

Don't get a dog unless the whole family really wants one and you are prepared for the expense and time required.

BarbarianMum · 16/02/2017 16:44

Do you want a dog? If you Do, then I'm sure you could find a puppy that would overcome their fears.

harderandharder2breathe · 16/02/2017 16:49

Don't get a dog unless you (and dp if there is one) want a dog. And I say this as the child who begged for a dog for years and never got one

Wolfiefan · 16/02/2017 16:51

Don't get a puppy. They bite! Well they explore the world using their mouths. It hurts!
Dogs cost money, can't be left long, need grooming and feeding and training and walking. if you want that then fine but NEVER get an animal just because a child wants one.

Serin · 18/02/2017 23:08

What about trying the website walkmydoggy
You can borrow someone elses dog on there and walk it regularly.
See how you get on.

empirerecordsrocked · 18/02/2017 23:09

You're going to be looking after it. Do you want a dog? If not don't even go there.

Lynnm63 · 19/02/2017 02:24

Ds2 was fairly scared of dogs for no reason. We bought a puppy just over a year ago. He adores her now. She went through a phase of chewing tissues/kitchen roll if she could find any. I came in to find ds2 opening the puppies mouth saying 'you know you can't eat that, it'll make you sick' whilst removing it. I was . This was approx 3 weeks after we got her.
I can't promise it'll cure your dc's fear of dogs but it totally did mine.
Obviously we wanted a dog.

TheDowagerCuntess · 19/02/2017 02:39

If you ALL genuinely want a dog, then get a dog.

DD was petrified of them before we got ours, it didn't take long for puppy cuddles to eliminate that.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 19/02/2017 02:40

Ask them if they're going to be willing to pick up the dogs poo every time it goes to the toilet (at least once a day) or get up in the middle of the night to let it out for a wee. Go out in the pouring rain when it's freezing cold and dark and miserable to walk it, and wash it when it inevitably rolls in shit/mud/god knows what else. Will they be willing to not get pocket money (if this is something you give) as the costs of having a dog are quite large, including insurance?
Dog ownership isn't just about the playtime and the cuddles, it's easy to feed and water a dog and to play with it and cuddle up on the bed/sofa etc, but that's only half the responsibility.
Quite honestly a LOT of kids who want dogs, expect their parents to do the "icky" stuff like clean poo and just want the fun easy side, very few will do poo pick up, even in their own back gardens.
IF you do let them get a dog, make it clear before hand what you expect from them with regard to cleaning up after it, walks etc, and enforce it. If they don't act responsibly, the dog goes back. (Yes i know it's not fair on the dog but it's not fair to OP to get stuck with the responsibility either)

Bahh · 19/02/2017 03:27

I was terrified of dogs when I was a kid, I was bitten on the face by one when I was about 6 and chased through the streets by one particularly badly handled free running Rottweiler when I was 8.

Then my parents bought a dog.

He is one of the loves of my life, sparked a passion for animals I didn't have before.

So I would say if you want one, do it. Especially if it's only a pup, they're tiny little balls of fun and could really help your kids grow in confidence and teach them all sorts of lovely things about patience, compassion, responsibility etc. It took me a couple of weeks to stop jumping whenever he stood up or made a noise but yeah, probably the best thing my parents ever did for me.

On the other hand if you really don't want a dog tell them in age-appropriate language to sod off :D

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