Have to try and buy stbex out of the mortgage. Application has been referred although I got a decision in principal last year (when I wasn't ready) without it being referred and nothing has changed.
Stbex has nothing. I earn quite well (about £45K and we're in quite a cheap part of the country) but it seems I am never going to be comfortable. I have about £5k I credit cards, mainly built up during the marriage due to useless ex, but all in my name. /They are om 0% deals, but I hate the feeling of anxiety they bring when the deals come to an end - if I can't transfer to another deal they will soon start spiralling. I have another loan of about £3K I had to take when I had to replace my car. it has about 3 years left on it.
I am hoping to pay ex about £11K if the bank allow it and then he wants another £10k when the youngest is of age, so that will always be hanging over me. I am ok at the moment, and have a reasonable amount left in my current account each month (couple of K) but it's not 'real' because the divorce isn't settled, I have all those debts and no savings (do have those trust funds for the dc, each with about £5K in). If ever I think about the dc going to uni I feel sick. What on earth do people do?
I stupidly booked a holiday for this year last summer and still owe about £1200 on it. All these things just hang over me all the time and I feel I will never be straight. I have money in the bank and just want to take the dc somewhere relatively expensive just to get out of the house and have a nice time, but then decide I shouldn't, then just sit around feeling anxious and round and round it goes. I wish I could talk to someone about it but people around me have heard it all before and I can't keep on about it.
Meanwhile stbex swans around with endless debts to his name and, assuming I can still get it, will soon piss away a further £10k of my (I know it's strictly ours, but still stings).
AIBU or will it ever get better?