Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to still brush my 8 year olds teeth?

144 replies

Clementiny · 15/02/2017 22:58

If I leave him to it, he counts standing in his pants with the toothbrush in his mouth as having brushed his teeth. He knows how to do it properly, he just can't be bothered. Besides if he has a friend for a sleepover, I brush them for him. He is laid back and happy for me to do it. I feel better knowing they're brushed properly as he had to having a filling last year after a stint of him brushing them.

We stayed at MILs yesterday and she horrified to see me brushing them for him. She said he, and even my 4 year old, should be brushing their teeth themselves. I agree they should but they don't do it properly and don't mind me doing it so I don't see the problem. Aibu to still be brushing them?

OP posts:
blackcherries · 17/02/2017 21:28

You get one set of teeth - you have to make sure they are done properly!

Wah I am a total freak? I'm on my second set of teeth...!

Highmaintenancefemalestuff · 17/02/2017 21:32

Our dentist advised us to it for da until around 8 years. When I used to look after dn I had an app (can't remember what it was called) used to play a song for 2 mins and she earned points to do different things. She thought it was great.

MsGemJay · 17/02/2017 21:41

You're being a kind and good mum for making sure his teeth are clean. However, he is by far old enough (unless not able to do so) to do them himself.
Unless there's a reason that he needs help (medical/physical) then really by 8yo you could just watch and check he's doing it right. Sorry xx

Yogimummy123 · 17/02/2017 21:51

I had fillings in my baby teeth & I was brushing my own teeth before then.. I'm def brushing my kids til they're sick of it! & disclosing tablets - will buy some!

Sammytastix · 17/02/2017 21:53

We have been to dentist this morning. I brush my 7 yr old dds teeth and she said she has no decay and to carry on until at least age 8 so will follow her advice.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 17/02/2017 21:58

Huh! I have never heard you should brush their teeth until 8. My dentist has NEVER said that once. We haven't brushed since they were toddlers. It's a constant battle though so am going to start finishing off for them as they are now 6 and 9.

clairep2012 · 17/02/2017 21:59

My sister is an orthodontist at a well-known London centre. The advice is that you should brush their teeth for them until they have the dexterity to be doing joined up handwriting. Though that'd also mean someone still brushing my husband's teeth for him too Grin

HarryPottersMagicWand · 17/02/2017 21:59

Oh and mine have never had decay/problems so not convinced lack of decay is down to a parent brushing.

RainbowDashian · 17/02/2017 22:14

I brush my 6 yr olds after he has as he doesn't give a shit clean them properly. I don't brush my 4 yr olds because he's really good at brushing them himself, he brushes them thoroughly then checks them in the mirror and if he isn't satisfied they are clean he brushes them again and often asks me to check them.

Yanbu op, every child is different.

WankersHacksandThieves · 17/02/2017 22:22

The advice is that you should brush their teeth for them until they have the dexterity to be doing joined up handwriting. Though that'd also mean someone still brushing my husband's teeth for him too

Yup that would be DS2 - he's 15 and has to type in school as his handwriting is illegible never mind joined up.

MartinaMartini · 17/02/2017 22:34

I do a 'quality control' check on my 5 and 7 year olds that I don't plan on stopping any time soon Grin

multivac · 17/02/2017 22:39

My sister is an orthodontist at a well-known London centre

Love this. "Well-known". Rightyho.

TeethDrama · 17/02/2017 22:44

I do all my kids teeth, 3 dcs eldest is 9. I will continue for as long as possible because a lot of kids just don't realise (or care!) that teeth have 5 sides.

I get my eldest to do theirs sometimes then I do it for them after. I frequently explain about tooth decay etc.

Also have made a simple way of doing it that they will follow when they do it themselves, it's always the same way I brush so it's not haphazard, it's sn easy to follow process!

For those interested, it's start at the back if the bottom row on the right side. Do all around the outside of the teeth to the left side. Repeat for the inner teeth. Then do the top row, right to left, outside then inside teeth. Finish off with a quick tongue brush. So many kids just brush the front (a bit) the sides (haphazardly) and that's it. They never reach the top inner right tooth at the back, for example. So if you give them a fail safe way of doing it, it's easier to carry on with that themselves.

BigGrannyPants · 17/02/2017 22:45

My six year old brushes his own teeth and when he's done I 'finish it off'

It means I can see what he's doing and teach him how to do it right and he gets plenty of practice.

maddiemookins16mum · 17/02/2017 23:01

The same mums brushing their kids teeths, washing their arses at 11, complaining when their 14 year olds and 18 year olds treat them like shit. Moan about them at Uni. You all make a bed for your own back but whinge on MN.

MurphyDog5 · 17/02/2017 23:13

Given that when my brother & I were kids, our idea of brushing our teeth was running our toothbrushes under the tap then sucking all the toothpaste off Yanbu to do this. I honestly don't think I actually brushed my teeth properly until I started high school! Yes your dcs should be able to do it themselves but if you know that no amount of nagging is going to get them to do it properly & they're happy to let you, then crack on. I too, plan on brushing dd's teeth until I'm fully satisfied she can & will do a decent job.

Julia001 · 17/02/2017 23:20

We cleaned our sons teeth until he was about 9 and then supervised him cleaning them with an electric toothbrush, then we used disclosing tablets so that we knew he was cleaning them properly, I KNOW it sounds really anal an OTT, but he is 13 with no cavities. Our dentist advised us in all this, he has learned to clean his teeth by rote and hopefully, will continue these habits forever, I am coming from a place where I had to spend about £20k on my teeth to repair the damage done by crap dentistry when we were kids and smoking (gave up 8 years ago now - still very proud of myself)

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/02/2017 23:22

What a load of old shit that post is, maddie. There's a massive difference between caretaking children's teeth and doing all that other stuff.
My kids do chores, because they need to learn. They clean their teeth because they need to learn how - but I still finish them off because it matters more that their teeth are clean.

TeethDrama · 17/02/2017 23:24

Maddie - it's taking care of something irreplaceable and precious, a child's teeth, because even at 8 they cannot have any clue how long their teeth have to last and how costly, painful and expensive restorative teeth treatment can be. It's completely different from "wiping their arses", that does not have costly, painful and expensive repercussions for the rest of their lives.

Most people want the best for their kids health and that includes dental care. My dcs are very independent in so many other ways, I don't need it proving again at the expenses if their future teeth health.

SnobblyBobbly · 17/02/2017 23:25

My 6 & 10 year olds brush their own most of the time and then show me when they're done. I probably brush/re-brush once or twice a week if they haven't done a good enough job of it.

Tell your MIL to mind her own.

I don't want them to have bad teeth and fillings - pretty sure they'll thank me for that one day, so I'll do it for as long as it's needed. And if that was every day, I'd do that too.

LowDudgeon · 17/02/2017 23:30

I brushed my kids' teeth right through primary school pretty much. They have no fillings now and are very appreciative! All 4 needed orthodontics & I supervised their brushing while they had fixed braces.

My own teeth are very poor - lots of fillings, crowns, extractions & a partial denture - I was adamant that they wouldn't go the same way!

AbernathysFringe · 17/02/2017 23:57

Sandwich short of picnic exp thought he'd give the toothbrush to our 20 month old to encourage her to do her own the other day, instead of him doing them. I said, honey, we'll still be doing them when she's 8! Let her have a go but do them as well!
So no, yanbu.

Daydream007 · 18/02/2017 00:07

At least you know they get brushed properly when you do them! I wish my kids would let me do theirs for them. My 7 year old knows how to brush them properly but most nights can't be bothered and just puts the toothbrush in her mouth and sucks on it before quickly brushing half heartedly.

NeverNic · 18/02/2017 00:36

My 5yo brushes his teeth under my supervision. I point out / remind him to do certain bits and intervene if he's missing bits. Normally I end up giving a quick once over with the brush but if he's being silly or he's tired I just do it. My toddler is only just coming out of the stage of having to be put in a headlock to get a toothbrush close to his mouth. He now insists his big brother brushes them for him (then I'm allowed to have a turn). It works well as between the two of us the youngest gets his teeth done without a paddy. It also helps the 5yo work out what needs doing and the right technique, which helps him do a better job on his own.

I will continue to supervise teeth brushing right up until I feel it's not needed, but I do think they need a chance to learn how to do it, and so need the opportunity to practice.

BreconBeBuggered · 18/02/2017 00:49

Christ, I would brush my 14-year-old's teeth if he let me, the careless clumsy lummox. Certainly did when he was 8. He can cook and wipe his own arse though.