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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to still brush my 8 year olds teeth?

144 replies

Clementiny · 15/02/2017 22:58

If I leave him to it, he counts standing in his pants with the toothbrush in his mouth as having brushed his teeth. He knows how to do it properly, he just can't be bothered. Besides if he has a friend for a sleepover, I brush them for him. He is laid back and happy for me to do it. I feel better knowing they're brushed properly as he had to having a filling last year after a stint of him brushing them.

We stayed at MILs yesterday and she horrified to see me brushing them for him. She said he, and even my 4 year old, should be brushing their teeth themselves. I agree they should but they don't do it properly and don't mind me doing it so I don't see the problem. Aibu to still be brushing them?

OP posts:

Mrsmorton · 16/02/2017 21:28

Another dentist saying YANBU. Once you've spent 10 years of seeing children in pain every other Sunday, you'll wonder why not everyone supervises for as long as possible. Why wouldn't you?

Can get disclosing tablets from boots.

Believeitornot · 16/02/2017 21:29

I brush my dcs teeth. They're 7&5. I thought the advice was to brush them until about 8, then supervise a bit longer.

nokidshere · 16/02/2017 21:37

My two loved the red disclosing tablets, they used to let it dribble out of their mouths and pretend it was blood

I supervised until they were about 10

steff13 · 16/02/2017 21:39

I brush my six year old every other night after her bath. She's pretty good, though, on her own. If she wasn't, I'd do them. Would an electric toothbrush help? It requires less effort, maybe he'd take to it.

LittleLionMansMummy · 16/02/2017 21:40

Teeth brushing is a constant battle in our house with ds (6). He doesn't do it properly but we want to foster independence. We've resolved to get him to do it in the morning and we do it in the evening. I can't see this changing any time soon.

skinoncustard · 16/02/2017 21:42

I cleaned my DD's teeth till they were in their early teens, I was determined to get them to 16 and not have a mouthful of fillings like me. I'm not saying they didn't moan on occasion but they are now 36 & 32 and neither of them has any fillings.
I don't think children can clean their teeth properly , sloshing toothpaste about is not cleaning.

cushioncovers · 16/02/2017 21:44

Yanbu

Livinabarnn · 16/02/2017 21:47

You can get double disclosing tablets that show the new plaque in red and old plague in blue. They were recommended to us by our hygienist. Electric toothbrushes are best too.

pinkish · 16/02/2017 21:49

I think that's great. I'd do the same but I can't bear to.

So many rows about tooth brushing in this house.

gamerchick · 16/02/2017 21:54

I still do my 10 yr olds. But then I still have to spoon feed him mashed up weaning food as well still he can wipe his own backside so that's something.

I really want to do the disclosing tablets out of morbid curiosity.

Sunnysidegold · 16/02/2017 21:55

My dentist told me ten, yanbu

TurquoiseDress · 17/02/2017 11:43

YANBU

It sounds like he is not doing them properly. My dentist advised to brush my 2 year old's teeth until they are at least 6 or 7 years old, and older if it's not being done properly.

It's all very well saying that 4 year olds should be able to manage it, but to actually get the teeth brushed properly is very important in terms of dental health.

You could let them brush and then give it a once over- although in reality, there is not always the time to do this when you are rushing to get out the door!

BusterGonad · 17/02/2017 11:56

I brush my 8 year olds teeth and I'll happily brush them until he is capable of doing a decent job! It's a small thing to do in order for him to have good teeth.

DaemonPantalaemon · 17/02/2017 11:58

My son is now 37. I brushed this teeth until he was 35. Then he got married, and now his wife brushes them for him. I still have to check every day though, to make sure that it has been done. They never stop being your babies, so brush away!

IsItMeOr · 17/02/2017 12:06

I was feeling lazy for not persevering to get my 7yo DS to brush his own teeth. This is making me feel much better. He has dyspraxic tendencies, so not sure when he will actually be capable of doing a good job himself.

Love51 · 17/02/2017 12:06

I remember hearing advice to do it til 12. That made me giggle imagining this conversation up and down the country 'dd, im coming to brush your teeth' 'hang on a minute dad, I've not finished changing my tampon'.
But if you can get away with it with an 8 year old, remember to teach rather than do it for them. Because there will be an 'end date' pending!

Deux · 17/02/2017 12:26

DS is a teenager now and I closely supervised his until he was 11 and I'd point out bits he missed especially on his right side and go over them if necessary. DD is 8 and she does hers and I supervise and go over any bits she's missed.

We use an electric brush with blue tooth connectivity and they use the app.

Use disclosing tablets once a week and sometime Dentyl PH rinse as it stains plaque when they spit out.

And we are in the process of having fissure sealants on molars and maybe DS's premolars.

You just have to be really tough and stand there and watch them/do them. Threaten loss of privileges. No sugary foods if you can't clean your teeth properly. Tell them they don't want a mouthful of rotten teeth. I've also told them that good teeth will mean they earn more money when they're adults. Explain how decay happens. It's always been non negotiable in our house. Filled teeth are permanently weakened.

I realise some may think this is OTT but I have tonnes of fillings and had very expensive restoration work as an adult. My parents did not adequately supervise my tooth brushing. They were one generation away from the one that got dentures for a 21st birthday present.

DCs have no fillings.

Katiepoes · 17/02/2017 12:45

Timely thread! My almost-seven year old had her biannual checkup yesterday, we've been told to start supervising more closely, and doing them again at night after she has done them - dentist says as long as it My daughter;s adult molars are starting to show so they sealed them, her baby teeth at the back have weak enamel so they are being extra careful. So we will go through the battle every night - has to beat getting fillings or worse. She already uses a sonic brush but we need to keep an eye on the angle, and that she uses it in all areas, not just the front or the left side.

Those of you sneering - how lovely you have such great kids that can manage this already, but I will not apologise for taking extra care. My kid can't do it correctly, so we will until she has learned.

Katiepoes · 17/02/2017 12:46

Agh...as long as it takes! Not sure what happened there.

beebeecee · 17/02/2017 12:50

Daemon that was a joke post really, right?

Sunshinegirls · 17/02/2017 12:53

I brush my 8 and 6 year olds and make them do it too. They need to learn how to do it themselves so I supervise but I still get in there myself to be sure too. How is your DP's teeth? Did she do a good job of keeping his healthy when he was young? My spouse doesn't have great teeth, his mum never brushed his for him, she expected him to do everything himself as soon as possible. Result, shite teeth. Don't listen to your MIL. Your kid, your rules.

booox · 17/02/2017 12:57

I'm sure a recent campaign around more 'middle class' parents finding decay going up amongst their children, said keep brushing until at least 8 as they don't always do it properly.

I wouldn't worry if your both happy but start to introduce supervised brushing so that if he does go away without you he can do it himself.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 17/02/2017 13:03

I have two 8 year olds - one does a good job, the other one I have to either do it for him or keep an eagle eye out. I don't know how he manages to look like he's doing his teeth but when I check there is a visible scum on them

If you are unreasonable, then so am I. But I'd rather he keeps all his own teeth than letting him get on with it just because he 'should' be doing them himself.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/02/2017 13:06

I was still brushing my DS1's teeth up until he was about 8, in fact the dentist recommended it. I still do it occasionally now as well (he's just 9) but mostly let him get on with it himself.

DS2 is 4 - he wants to do it by himself but not yet.

Might be different in Australia but the dentists I've seen here do recommend you still brush their teeth with (or for) them up til at least 7 or 8, to help make sure it's done properly. As I have poor teeth myself, I'm happy to do this to save them from as much treatment as possible.

Jellybean83 · 17/02/2017 13:07

I don't think you are, I still do 7 year old DS' teeth. He would just stand wiggling the brush around his mouth if I didn't. I'm not too fussed about being unreasonable on this one to be honest, I'd rather my DS has properly brushed teeth and I'll continue to do it until I think he does a good enough job.

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