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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to still brush my 8 year olds teeth?

144 replies

Clementiny · 15/02/2017 22:58

If I leave him to it, he counts standing in his pants with the toothbrush in his mouth as having brushed his teeth. He knows how to do it properly, he just can't be bothered. Besides if he has a friend for a sleepover, I brush them for him. He is laid back and happy for me to do it. I feel better knowing they're brushed properly as he had to having a filling last year after a stint of him brushing them.

We stayed at MILs yesterday and she horrified to see me brushing them for him. She said he, and even my 4 year old, should be brushing their teeth themselves. I agree they should but they don't do it properly and don't mind me doing it so I don't see the problem. Aibu to still be brushing them?

OP posts:
Janet80 · 17/02/2017 13:08

My daughter is 8, she brushes them herself but I do brush them twice a week just in case. Son is 5, I brush his as I'd rather do it than him keep missing a spot and end up with a filling. Brushing children's teeth is very important and not one of those things like tying shoelaces or doing up their own coat where certain types of people will say "they are old enough" with waggy fingers.
As the dentists advise...,at least 8 years old!

OpenMindedSceptic · 17/02/2017 13:09

YANBU. I still do it for my 7 year old and plan to carry on for a while.
I wish someone would have supervised my toothbrushing when I was a kid!

maddiemookins16mum · 17/02/2017 13:16

I supervised until ten, brushing an 8 year olds teeth seems ridiculous (and very MN).

ageingrunner · 17/02/2017 13:19

I do my 8 yr old's teeth. If I don't it takes him about 30 seconds and it mainly consists of him standing and looking in the mirror while keeping the toothbrush still in his mouth 😳

Abrahamkin · 17/02/2017 13:33

I'm in Denmark. The advice here is to brush children's teeth till they are around 11. Before that they say that the children do not have the motor skills to clean their teeth properly themselves. So at 8 the dentists here would be horrified if you are not doing them!

BusterGonad · 17/02/2017 16:46

IsItMeOr same here! My son is very uncoordinated!

Beeziekn33ze · 17/02/2017 17:05

When he was very small one DGS needed both parents for tooth brushing, one held him while the other gently but firmly brushed. He often went blue during the cleaning and occasionally at other times. He and subsequent siblings have an excellent dentist who said no child should brush their own teeth under 10.

theothercatpurred · 17/02/2017 17:24

YANBU. I decided when DS was about 6 that he was old enough. He's 8 and his teeth are now yellow. I've gone back to brushing them, I should never have stopped.

Wriggler79 · 17/02/2017 18:47

YANBU. My 11 and 8yr olds stand with the brush in their mouth while meandering around the bathroom, looking/handling things and NOT brushing. My 9.5 yr old brushes her teeth beautifully without any prompting. I often brush the 8 yr old's teeth and usually threaten to do the 11 yr old's (but don't have to). It drives me mad 😂

HelloFreedom · 17/02/2017 18:59

I was way too lax/negligent with my oldest DC. She hated having her teeth brushed. Screaming, kicking etc. By 4-5 years old it had become a daily standoff. I let her 'brush' her own teeth far too often.

Cue dentist appointment age 5 and she needs a filling. A real kick up the arse that was.

That was the last time I made that mistake. She's now 7 and it is still difficult but I still brush her teeth myself every day.

Also so the same with her younger siblings. So you are def NBU.

Sara107 · 17/02/2017 20:05

I took my 7 year old to the dentist on Tuesday and she told me to supervise the brushing closely and do it myself about 4 or 5 times a week until the child is at least 10. She said it is quite hard for them to get at the new adult molars at the back, and those are the teeth that suffer the most decay and filling as a consequence.

MegBusset · 17/02/2017 20:11

I stopped brushing DS2's around 6yo (did supervise though). Now at nearly 8 he needs a filling in a back molar :( He always brushed twice a day and doesn't have tons of sugar, but the dentist said it's mainly because of the shape of his teeth (deeply grooved so food easily gets stuck). Needless to say I have started brushing them for him again!

Deux · 17/02/2017 20:42

Meg, ask your dentist about getting the molars sealed.

PetyrBaelish · 17/02/2017 20:43

Fine to insist on him doing it properly, but more appropriate to helicopter over him while he does it than do it for him. He might start doing it properly himself soon if you are consistent with it.

WeAllHaveWings · 17/02/2017 20:47

Ds has an electric toothbrush with a sensitive brush head which makes it easier. He struggles with a manual toothbrush.

Spotsondots · 17/02/2017 20:57

I recently read some advice about brushing children's teeth that said children don't really have the control to effectively brush their own teeth until they can consistently tie their own shoe laces. I thought it was quite a helpful milestone comparison.

neonrainbow · 17/02/2017 21:01

There's a difference between supervising and doing it for him. Do you still wipe his arse too?

throughgrittedteeth · 17/02/2017 21:07

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I have said I will brush my DS's teeth until all of his adult teeth are in 😂
I've had hell with my teeth and my parents just didn't care and left me to it. I'm not having that for him. I doubt I will go as far as 'all his adult teeth' but until I'm satisfied he can do t properly. I don't care what anyone else says, the memories of toothache are enough to send me into a rant..

My DS is 5 btw so I'm probably still ok, but I expect I'll be doing it for a while yet.

imacmum · 17/02/2017 21:10

I did my sons teeth till he was 11, he's 22 now and hasn't had one filling. I did my daughters till she was 7, she wouldn't let me do them after that, she's now 18 and has three fillings. Go figure!

LovelyBath77 · 17/02/2017 21:12

My lovely dentist advised me to supervise and help with DS (8) tooth brushing as it makes a difference. he also advised using an electric toothbrush. HTH

ageingrunner · 17/02/2017 21:15

Arses don't start to rot away if you don't wipe them properly neonrainbow
I'm aiming to give my child the benefit of not having to spend too much time at the dentist, hopefully.

squizita · 17/02/2017 21:17

Just came here for all the MN "YABU they should be doing it from 3" bullshitters ignoring all the DENTISTS saying till 8+.

By the end of page 1 my expectations had been confirmed.

Thankfully the usual "obviously made up job" had not appeared yet.

WankersHacksandThieves · 17/02/2017 21:17

I can't remember when I stopped doing my sons but it was after age 8 and before they went to High School. They are 16 and 15 now and have had no decay. Dentist gives them a mark out of 10 for brushing and points out bits they need to give extra attention - they usually get and 8 or a 9 out of 10.

Their teeth are their own responsibility now. DH and I never had encouragement for regular tooth brushing - I can't remember having a toothbrush! I don't have many fillings but did have a fair few extractions as a child. DH is lucky if he has any teeth that are neither filled nor missing. It's important.

squizita · 17/02/2017 21:19

Neon people who actually know what they are talking about have already stated you're talking confrontational possibly deliberately so crap. RTWT. Or just wind your neck in.

heyday · 17/02/2017 21:20

I can see that it may look as if you are babying them but simply ignore anyone around who criticises you brushing their teeth. Sure, they should be steered towards being independent but there are very few children (or adults for that matter) who know how to brush their teeth correctly. The result of not brushing correctly is rotten teeth and fillings which are definitely to be avoided at all costs.
Tell MiL quite politely that you are following clear guidance from your dentist.