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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU- Concerts

24 replies

user1486495351 · 15/02/2017 22:26

My 15 year old son is planning on going to a concert in May with five friends- which I'm totally fine with.
But my 8 year old son and 9 year old step son are also wanting to go. My 15 year old said that "as long as they don't talk to me, I don't care if they come" and said he would make sure they wouldn't get lost (he only agreed because I'm paying for him!)The concert starts at 8 and the they say they'll be back by around 11-12.
I can't go with them as my oldest would "die of embarrassment"...
My husband doesn't have a problem with it at all and says that he went out a lot at their age and my SS's mother doesn't care at all.

Also- My son's friends he's going with are 15-19 so technically there'll be an adult with them. But I'm slightly worried they'll be drinking (which I understand at my older son's age) and then won't be able to look after the younger two.

AIBU to not let them go as my husband and son say I am...

What do you think?

OP posts:

QueenMortificado · 15/02/2017 22:28

I think your older son would have a pretty shit time babysitting his younger siblings.

What concert is it? Is it seated or standing? What if the younger ones needed the loo - would be expect them to go by themselves?

GeillisTheWitch · 15/02/2017 22:28

My 15 year old said that "as long as they don't talk to me, I don't care if they come" and said he would make sure they wouldn't get lost (he only agreed because I'm paying for him

He doesn't sound mature or responsible enough to be in charge of an 8 and 9 year old.

Leggit · 15/02/2017 22:29

No I would let the teens enjoy themselves.

TheGirlOnTheLanding · 15/02/2017 22:30

It's unlikely the venue will let the younger two in without an adult as its a licensed venue. Local venues here vary, but some are over-14s only. You would need to check their policies, and that might give you the get out you're looking for. I certainly wouldn't let my preteen DC go to a gig without being confident an adult or a sensible teenager was supervising - they can be fairly intimidating places the first few times you go, especially if not seated.

ladymariner · 15/02/2017 22:31

No way should your eldest have to have the younger two with him....what a downer that would be for him, and I can't see his mates being too delighted either! It's his night out, let him enjoy it.

greenfolder · 15/02/2017 22:32

No i definitely wouldnt. Cant you take the younger ones separately?
Its not fair on the older one
The youngest is only 8 and will be tired hungry and moany.

IMurderedStampyLongnose · 15/02/2017 22:32

You so cannot let the 15yo look after an 8 and 9 year old in this circumstance,it's ridiculous.let older boy go and enjoy himself and if the younger two really have to go you should bring them and stay well away from your older ds.

TheClaws · 15/02/2017 22:33

YABU. He's already said he doesn't want them talking to him, so I really don't think he'll be all that focused on looking after them - and they will need looking after at a night concert at that age. Let your older son go on his own and offer the younger two a different opportunity.

BreconBeBuggered · 15/02/2017 22:33

Most places I've been to only allow under-14s to be seated and accompanied by an adult anyway. Check the small print and you could well get out of being the bad guy in this situation.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 15/02/2017 22:34

Def too much responsibility for a teen. My ds 15 babysits his siblings but only in the house. .

liz70 · 15/02/2017 22:34

Are you sure they'll be allowed in? Some venues only allow 14 and up for certain concerts. Is it a band?

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 15/02/2017 22:35

Definitely not. Venue may not allow it anyway. I'd bring the younger ones separately, sitting / standing well away from the older one and his mates.

DeterminedToChange · 15/02/2017 22:36

No, they're far too young to be at a concert basically on their own. No way, sorry!

ScarlettFreestone · 15/02/2017 22:36

Not in a million years.

RNBrie · 15/02/2017 22:38

Can't he go with his friends and you take the 8 and 9 year old and you agree to keep well away so he's not embarrassed?

I'd not leave a potentially tipsy 15 year old in charge of an 8 and 9 year old.

oneohfivethreeeight · 15/02/2017 22:40

No way.

BackforGood · 15/02/2017 22:48

No way. It's not fair on the 15 yr old.
It's not really appropriate for the younger ones either.
Plus, most tickets say on them no unaccompanied U14s - you can't volunteer your ds's 19 yr old friend to be a 'responsible adult' for your 2 dc.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 15/02/2017 22:55

You cant send an 8 and 9 year old with a 15 year old to a concert!

They are crowded and people will be drinking, that's way too much responsibility to put on a 15 year olds shoulders, especially one who doesn't really want them to go and is trying to have a night out with his mates!

notquiteruralbliss · 15/02/2017 22:57

I would go with the younger ones. If it is a venue with a (seated) upstairs and a downstairs, take them upstairs. At 8 and 9 they are a bit small to see much if they are downstairs and there is no way your 15yo will be able to look after them and enjoy himself.

pinkyredrose · 15/02/2017 22:57

Won't they be too young to go unattended? Which they will be if 15yr old doesn't want to talk to them.

lastqueenofscotland · 15/02/2017 22:59

Most concerts don't allow under 14s without an over 18 anyway.

I'd let your 15yo go and enjoy himself... It's part of the perks of being that age! They'll get their time.

MargotLovedTom1 · 15/02/2017 23:03

No way would I allow this. An 8 and 9 year old being brought home at nearly midnight by older kids who might well be pissed. Why can't you just buy tickets for seats away from your eldest and look after the two young ones yourself?

BreconBeBuggered · 15/02/2017 23:09

I once took my 10-year-old to see a band he really liked, but even sitting with his mum he needed to be taken outside when the support band were on because he found them too loud. The support band is nearly always too loud imo and I was happy to do it, but I'm not sure a 15-year-old with his mates would be quite as attentive to a younger child's needs. I wouldn't have been at that age.

tinyterrors · 15/02/2017 23:15

Sending an 8 and 9 year old to a concert with a 15 year old is insane. No way would I do that, especially with him saying he doesn't care as long as they don't talk to him. He doesn't sound in any way mature enough to look after them. Do you honestly think he'd be willing to miss parts of the concert to take them to the toilet?

My dc's are 8 and 9 and there's no way on earth I'd trust my 15 year old dsd to look after them at a concert, especially not if the eldest had planned to go with a few mates so the younger two would be effectively gate crashing his night out.

If your eldest and his mates are in the standing area its no place for young child, it's tough enough staying on your feet as an adult at times, a child would get knocked about.

Tell your younger ds and dss that they're too young to go without you or your dh. Your dh doesn't get to tell your 15 he's in charge of two children in this circumstance. Either they don't go or you/dh take them and get seats well away from the eldest.

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