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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Valentine's Day please knock some sense into me!!!

98 replies

winterscoming911 · 14/02/2017 20:07

I'm quite aware that AIBU but I really need people to help me put this in perspective.

We have one DD who is 4. Bit of background so people get the whole picture... My DH was brought up in a household where him and his siblings watched his dad be verbally and sometimes physically abusive to his mum and also to him and his siblings on a regular basis. One of the main things that he has taken from this is making sure our daughter knows how a man should treat her especially as we've seen the effect it has had on his sisters. He also strives to always make DD feel important.

Today it's obviously Valentine's Day. DH ordered me a beautiful bunch of flowers and he ordered DD a medium sized teddy bear that came with a very small box of chocs. Lovely. Except that they mixed up the order and sent DD the same bunch of flowers as me but also with a small bear with the chocs. I guess I just feel abit unimportant that my DD basically got a better present than I did although I know that wasn't the original plan.
Growing up I knew my dad adored me but I also knew that my mum and me had different relationships with him, they were the team and I guess this is just heightening my own stupid insecurities. I'm being pathetic aren't it?!?!

OP posts:
bunnylove99 · 14/02/2017 20:18

OP I don't think you are thinking straight! Don't be jealous of your DD, just be glad you have a considerate husband who got you both gifts. You are sounding a bit spoilt to be honest. There will be plenty of posters on here today who got nothing for Valentines at all.

LegArmpits · 14/02/2017 20:20

This is genuinely the most insane thing I've ever read 😂😂😂

DoctorBeat · 14/02/2017 20:22

I didn't even get a fucking test from my "d"p today. Poor bloke. (Your dp that is)

DoctorBeat · 14/02/2017 20:22

*text

DontTouchTheMoustache · 14/02/2017 20:23

If this is not a wind up (which I assume it is because nobody is that pathetic) then you are genuinely the most self centred person I've come across in a long time. Very difficult to write a post that justifies what a piece of work you are without breaching guidelines.

formerbabe · 14/02/2017 20:24

Blimey, you sound like hard work

OhhBetty · 14/02/2017 20:24

Pahahaha I love this!!

tiredofhavingtothinkofnewnames · 14/02/2017 20:25

half term

BonnieF · 14/02/2017 20:25

It's your daughter who is 4, not you.

Grow up.

WilburIsSomePig · 14/02/2017 20:26

I'm assuming this isn't real OP? At least I hope not ...

tiredofhavingtothinkofnewnames · 14/02/2017 20:26

you do know what knock some sense in refers to?

Meffy · 14/02/2017 20:27

Yep YABVVVVVVVVVU and pathetic!

You're insecurities are through the roof! How could you be jealous of a 4 year old!!

To other posters ..... I buy my kids a card and maybe a chocolate lolly pop or this year balloons on sticks. I sign cards with a ? And now my 9 year old whispers ..."thanks mum ... I know you love me!" As not to spoil it for the younger two!
My valentines card have resulted in my DS not having the mickey taken out of him at school for not getting a card so I guess all the mums do it!!!
I learnt the hard way!

bimbobaggins · 14/02/2017 20:28

Yes you are pathetic but at least you recognise it yourself

Iflyaway · 14/02/2017 20:31

Oh, please grow up!

roarityroar · 14/02/2017 20:32

You are not pathetic. Google transference - and if you can afford it then go on something called the Hoffman process to help deal with the scars left from your childhood.

We all are afffected by and act disproportionately sometimes because it triggers how we were made to feel as children. It doesn't make you pathetic but once you can recognise you you are better equipped to tackle it and stop the pattern of behaviour it triggers.

ilovesooty · 14/02/2017 20:36

Where does the OP refer to scars from her childhood?

Dawndonnaagain · 14/02/2017 20:37

I am 58. I have never had a valentines present or card. Never.
Grow up.

cardibach · 14/02/2017 20:37

OP, I don't get this: Growing up I knew my dad adored me but I also knew that my mum and me had different relationships with him, they were the team. Isn't this normal and natural? Why do you think this would leave scars roarityroar?

Kittylongpopping · 14/02/2017 20:38

Give over!

Perhaps Freud would have a perspective

ArriettyClock1 · 14/02/2017 20:38

FFS Hmm

arethereanyleftatall · 14/02/2017 20:39

This is a bit weird. You have recognised its unreasonable to think this (damn right it is), but you're thinking it anyway. Yes, it's really really strange to be jealous of your dd.

Before my pub was born, my dh and I spent a lot of time lying in each other's arms, me in the 'circle' if you will. Before she was born I couldn't imagine sharing the circle with anyone. Since she was born, nothing makes me happier than when she's safe and happy in the circle of her fathers arms. I'm trying to say I can't imagine being jealous of my own dd, I want the world for her.

MojitoMollie · 14/02/2017 20:39
Biscuit
ThoraGruntwhistle · 14/02/2017 20:39

Wait, what?
Confused
This is a new degree of barking. A florist cocked up an order. Nobody has tried to make you feel bad or ignored you.
Is this a joke I don't get?

Slimmingsnake · 14/02/2017 20:40

Weird indeed

WeddingsAreStressful · 14/02/2017 20:40

You're weird. Very weird. Stop sexualizing the relationship between your 4 year d and your husband. I can't believe what I'm reading....

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