To allow a 6yo to go away for a weekend away with a friend

[4foxsake]

My DD2 (6yo)has a friend she had known since she was about 6 months old. They went to nursery/daycare together until they were 4 years old and, although they don't go to the same school they still meet up together during the school holidays at a playscheme run by their old nursery (me & the other DM coordinate dates so they get to go on the same days). We also occasionally meet up with them for weekend playdates etc. DD2 & her friend are very similar in personality & are the best of friends even though they may not see each other sometimes for several months.

Anyway, the friend's DM had asked me if DD2 would like to go for a long weekend away with them (approx 2 hours away). I know DM quite well & she is lovely but also going on the trip would be the DMs ex husband and the DMs mum who I don't really know at all (apart from a couple of few minutes conversations at birthday parties etc).

I'm all for letting her go but DH is more uncomfortable with the idea, mainly I think with the fact that the ExH will be there but also because, if anything were to go wrong, she would be 2 hours away.

Anyway, now I'm doubting my willingness to let her go. WIBU to let her go or do you think DH is right and she should stay? WWYD?

6 is quite young to go away like this. I would probably say yes if it weren't for the XH. He would make me say no. Not because he is a man but because there must be a reason why he is an ex.

And that's a nope from me too I'm afraid. Just that bit too young, bit too far, and bit too exh.

does she stay away from you anywhere else? has she slept over at her friends house? Ifyes i would consider it, but it is a little too young.

She has slept over this friend's house before and regularly sleeps over her GPs (although I appreciate it's totally different staying with family). FWIW DD2 is a pretty self assured character and I think she'd cope with being away from us just fine. She was gutted she had to come home from her friend's house when she slept over - I think she would have moved in with them if she could .

No I wouldn't. My 6 year old would be able to cope for a day, but a long weekend, no way.

What is the issue with the ex-h?

I think only you can know the answer, really. If you're having to ask on here then you know the answer.

"I would probably say yes if it weren't for the XH. He would make me say no. Not because he is a man but because there must be a reason why he is an ex."

Not necessarily because he did anything wrong. Maybe they were just incompatible as a couple but stayed friends?

Anyway, I wouldn't feel entirely comfortable with this at 6 years old unless it was with our own family, grandparents etc, so depends how well you know the people she would be with.

I wouldn't have a problem with this.

I also object to the 'must be an ex for a reason comment'. I often do trips with my XH and our DD and he's an ex solely for the reason that we were no longer compatible - doesn't make him a deranged, axe wielding criminal and I'd have no doubts about letting any subsequent children spend time with him!

Cross post meeerkat!!

If your ex doesn't feel comfortable with it then I think you have to respect that. If it were the other way round you would hate for him to decide your daughter should stay somewhere that you were not comfortable with.

I would not let my 6 year old go away for the weekend even without the exh issue. I think it's too young - maybe at around 8 or 9 I might consider it ok but I would def have to know both parents well first.