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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not cut my daughter's hair

54 replies

Uhohmummy · 12/02/2017 14:27

Dd is 4 and has shoulder length hair. She has never liked having her hair washed or brushed and even though I try to tie it back out of her face any style last minutes before she's pulled it out and her hair is all over the place. Recently she's been asking to have it cut short "like daddy" or "like a boy". I wouldn't mind her having short hair if she likes it but I'm worried she'll get it cut then not like it and it's not so easy to go back.
Does anyone have any experience of this?

OP posts:
midcenturymodern · 12/02/2017 14:28

She doesn't like it how it is now so if she doesn't like it when it's cut then she's no worse off.

HarrietVane99 · 12/02/2017 14:31

If it's cut short, it will grow again, won't it? So she can choose whether to have it cut again, or keep it short.

I think it's up to her, once she's able to express a preference.

ShelteredLifeMe · 12/02/2017 14:33

We had this over christmas. Dd(3) had never had her hair cut. I loved it long but she hated having it brushed and washed. It ended up a battle or tats a week old!
She wanted hair like her db and dad so we tried to have it chopped in to a pixie cut but hd wouldn't... apparently too thin Confused which makes no sense as boys have short hair! So she had a bob.
She loves it, its so so easy to manage now. She still wants it shorter

insancerre · 12/02/2017 14:33

There is nothing worse than long straggly hair on young girls
I hear it all the time at work (nursery) " they wouldn't let me brush their hair"
That's why they look like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards then

ShelteredLifeMe · 12/02/2017 14:34

She has so little choice in her life, give her this one. It'll grow back soon enough

ShelteredLifeMe · 12/02/2017 14:34

My dd looked like that every day insane

omnishamblesssssssssssssss · 12/02/2017 14:35

Just get a nice pixie cut. Explain beforehand that if she wants to grow it longer again it will take a year or two.

BastardGoDarkly · 12/02/2017 14:35

Cut it! Will make everyone's lives easier!

Wish DD wanted hers cut, it's a PITA.

skincarejunkie · 12/02/2017 14:39

I wanted that too, when I was 6 and I NEVER got to have long hair again until I was in my late teens because my mum kept it "neat". Biggest regret and swore I would never cut mg DD hair. I ended up with DSx2 so hasn't been an issue! I missed out on spiral perms, bendy rollers, scrunchies, Fergie bows... And I looked like Chris Evans' and Schofe's love child in photos. Please give her a cooling off period before you cut it...

skincarejunkie · 12/02/2017 14:41

And pre-straighteners. Will her hair bob nicely without heated help? Mine won't and that was a big issue if growing it out!

LemonBreeland · 12/02/2017 14:43

Let her have it cut. It won't take forever to grow back

wonderingagain21 · 12/02/2017 14:44

My daughter had a gorgeous super short bob & side parting from 3 until about 8. She looked lovely & still very girly. You could always go to a pixie cut after if it isn't short enough.

Ameliablue · 12/02/2017 14:46

If she doesn't like getting it brushed and won't keep it tied back then getting it cut short seems like a good idea. It will grow back if she doesn't like it and she might be more inclined to take care of it.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 12/02/2017 14:48

I would do as Sheltered did, cut it to a bob at first and see if she is happy with that then decide about cutting it shorter/ letting it grow again.

AlmaMartyr · 12/02/2017 14:50

I let my DD have it bobbed at a similar age because it was a nightmare to look after. She's 8 now and has it very long, but understands that it needs a certain amount of care and is happy to let me do that.

velourvoyageur · 12/02/2017 14:51

If she's asking for it, I think she should be allowed.
If she doesn't like it, she'll be able to deal with that. If she cries a bit the week after, it's not the end of the world. It'll be good for her to know how to shrug things off and adjust when things don't go quite right. She doesn't need to be shielded from all disappointment, and this way she'll have more experience weighing up decisions. It's not an error of judgement which will have consequences for anyone else.

EweAreHere · 12/02/2017 15:05

Can she try out new hairstyles virtually online to see what she'd look like?

SilenceOfThePrams · 12/02/2017 15:07

Oh cut it! Life's too short. Short hair will be so much easier to wash and brush and deal with day to day. And if she hates it, she can grow it out again. It's not forever.

Chottie · 12/02/2017 15:14

Have it cut. Please don't force her to have to put up with the washing / brushing / extra care that long hair needs.

FloorHugger · 12/02/2017 15:15

Cut it. Hair grows so even if it looks bad it does not matter.

(Edited to add - hair grows, unless you are my DFather).

plutohasfeelingstoo · 12/02/2017 15:17

We've just been through this. Dd had really long /curly (tatty) hair. She decided one day she wanted it cut and now had a chin length bob, it looks fab. She loves it. So much less work too.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 12/02/2017 15:19

I had a mum like skincare's. Looked back at some old photos the other day, when I was 5 I had a pair of long plaits, then at 6 she decided it would be easier if I had it short, and cut it herself. Cue the next 10 years of everyone thinking I was a boy. When I got old enough to make my own hair decisions I grew it.

She's still on at me about it now. Apparently long hair has an age limit.

Just realised I haven't really answered the original question - I think if she wants it short, cut it, but let her grow it back again - and please take her to a professional!

To not cut my daughter's hair
DorcasthePuffin · 12/02/2017 15:21

Are you worried she won't like it, or are you worried others will react negatively/tease her for 'looking like a boy'?

If the former, I wouldn't worry - it WILL grow, and little girls can get away with any number of colourful hairgrips and scrunchies that would look hideous on an adult.

If it's the latter, I'd like to tell you not to be ridiculous but it does seem that long hair is de rigeur for little girls these days, and my own daughter's short hair and non-pink clothes did attract a lot of annoying comments when she was small. But a short bob is an excellent compromise.

Don't force her to have long hair. It's so impractical for a little girl.

unlucky83 · 12/02/2017 15:32

If she doesn't like having her brush/washed/fiddled with - how does she feel about going to the hairdressers?
If she goes really short she will have to go more often than when longer...
I would go for a short bob ...less hassle than really long or (taking into account having it cut) really short...

FloorHugger · 12/02/2017 15:32

Endo you were gorgeous!

My heart just went 'squee' !

(You look like my Ds though, it has to be said!)

I agree- listen to your daughter.