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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse ds (age 12) an 18 xbox game?

38 replies

AnnaK · 11/02/2017 16:52

'All' his friends have it and he can't join in their online game parties and he feels left out. Surely the games are given an 18 rating for a reason? Also, dd is 10. I want her to see this even less. So, AIBU? Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege in case you are interested. Many thanks!

OP posts:
FallenSky · 11/02/2017 16:58

General consensus here on common sense media is it's fine for 12+.

But YANBU to say no. He's your child and it's up to you to decide what he plays.

lovelyupnorth · 11/02/2017 17:00

Seems reasonable.

lovelyupnorth · 11/02/2017 17:00

To not let him play they have age ratings for a reason.

ChaseAvenal · 11/02/2017 17:01

Try the common sense media guides to give you a better idea (am I allowed to link it here?)
Fwiw I think it's a terribly made, glitchy game and have avoided it myself, otherwise I could give you a better opinion.

Newtssuitcase · 11/02/2017 17:05

yanbu

ChaseAvenal · 11/02/2017 17:08

Oh but I forgot to say, obviously YANBU to say no. Once you have more information you may think it's OK, or it might still be a no, and YWNBU either way, it's your decision as a parent.

snowone · 11/02/2017 17:09

YANBU - the age rating is there for a reason!!

scaryteacher · 11/02/2017 17:11

My rules as ds got older was two years and no more above his age. He didn't get 18 games until he was 16, but I got sick of kids in my classroom referencing CoD and GTA when they were only 11.

You only get one childhood; why expose them to all the nasties out there until they can handle it?

Also, 'everyone else does it' is a red rag to me. I don't care what every one else does. Furthermore, ds was not allowed to do multiplayer online until he was 16 and could handle it. You just don't know who is playing.

annandale · 11/02/2017 17:14

Interesting - I read the common sense media link and came out with the view that it would be a cold day in hell before my 13 year old played it! There may be a consensus that it's ok for a mature 11 year old but 'if they are OK with violence and inappropriate themes'. Er, no thanks.

Just don't be swayed by him feeling left out. I know that we are all incredibly susceptible to that argument, I certainly am, but it is a lot better for a child to have to say 'no, my stupid mum won't let me play it, I'll have to do something else' than to be effectively forced into playing it whether he really is up for it or not. There's no stigma in having parents who won't let you do stuff. He may even find that he has a good friend who will [gasp] stop playing this game to do something else with him.

MaisyPops · 11/02/2017 17:15

I can see 16+ having an 18 game but not younger. No.

Personally i find it ridiculous that people are quite happy to allow 13 year olds to play violent 18+ video games but then act all shock and horror about their child having to sit through sex ed because 'theyre just children'.

cherrypez · 11/02/2017 17:16

I've got the EXACT same issue. Been here before last year with COD and stuck to my guns, but wavering on this one as he's in Year 7...if it weren't for the 'party' thing it would be a big fat no, no question, but I love the social interaction of the parties so I'm torn. Don't want him being left out.

ChaseAvenal · 11/02/2017 17:18

Also, 'everyone else does it' is a red rag to me. Agreed, I used to work in a game shop and hearing kids say things along those lines to their parents used to drive me crazy!

cherrypez · 11/02/2017 17:18

When I say exact, by the way, I mean it's the same game I'm being begged for too, so I'm watching this thread with interest.

Sleepinghooty · 11/02/2017 17:22

I took my 10 year old ds into Game as he wanted to spend his Christmas money on an Xbox game. The assistant tried to tell me that some 18 games are in fact suitable. I swiftly told him that all 18s were unsuitable for a 10 year old. It made me really cross, as it's not fair to constantly give conflicting messages to dc. I have reluctantly allowed 12 games but if everyone is allowing games 2 years older, surely it would be better just to give accurate ratings!

Floggingmolly · 11/02/2017 17:27

You're not bu. Stand firm.

ShatnersBassoon · 11/02/2017 17:27

YANBU. The official age rating system may be a bit of a blunt tool, but without checking out these games yourself (and how/why would you?), you have to go with the experts' opinion. I don't give much thought to other parents' opinions and decisions when making my own, so I don't give much credit to what 'independent reviewers' online are saying is OK for their 12 yr olds.

ReapAndSow · 11/02/2017 17:33

I can see 16+ having an 18 game but not younger. No.

I roughly did this with my DC. I also had another first person shooters AT ALL before about 16 ands complete life time ban I grand theft auto even though DC are now all adults.

It's not so much about the blood or violence it's more about the style of game play and the intensity. Games for adults are designed to be be played by adults! There is often a level of concentration and skill that younger children don't have. Younger players often find them frustrating and 'too much' (even if you can control who they are actually playing with). If they are allowed to play alongside adult players then that's that even worse.

There are loads of great age appropriate game and it's not necessary for your DS to play games made for adults.

ReapAndSow · 11/02/2017 17:33

Sorry typos
...I also banned first person shooter.....

TryAnotherUsername · 11/02/2017 17:37

I'd refuse my 12 year old (and have said no to COD) so he knows better to ask me now, he just goes to his dad's at weekends and plays whatever he wants.

My 7 year old nephew plays 18 games, parents don't seem to care...

ChaseAvenal · 11/02/2017 17:40

I took my 10 year old ds into Game as he wanted to spend his Christmas money on an Xbox game. The assistant tried to tell me that some 18 games are in fact suitable.
Shock That's where I worked and comments like that would've led to a very serious discussion. We said the opposite: it is the parents decision but would always advise against it... which is my personal opinion anyway.

frenchfancy · 11/02/2017 17:44

YANBU

I won't allow 18+ games in the house even though DD1 is 17. Her Sis is only 10 so I don't want them available to her.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 11/02/2017 17:45

I still feel guilty about buying my son GTA 5 when he was 21!

If you're at all doubtful about the content of ant game/ film etc. especially without the opportunity to see it fie yourself, then its best to go with the advisory ratings. Maybe review this when he's a sensible mature 16 year old for an 18, but if in doubt why risk it?

Original poster
AnnaK · 11/02/2017 18:16

Thank you so much for your responses. My concern, apart from the content of the game, of course, is setting a precident. If I say yes to this 18 game, I can't say no to any other...

OP posts:
trinketsofgold · 11/02/2017 18:22

Tell him to pop along to game and buy it himself........oh snap!

annandale · 11/02/2017 20:06

Actually no, you can always say no. Don't give the power to the rating alone, even if it's a really helpful starting point. The decision is yours.