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Original poster

Year 11s and revision wars

110 replies

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 11/02/2017 16:19

Aaargh!! I am so fed up of the pitched battles daily to get DS1 to revise for his GCSEs. He has his second set of mocks after half term and just has no natural desire to revise. Sometimes he lollops about upstairs pretending to work; sometimes he outright refuses. If I offer to help, either I end up being his personalised teacher/slave, or he tells me he doesn't want my help. He is now shut in his room and we are all (DH. me and DS1) in a huff. I am an English teacher, DH a maths teacher ; I am sure most kids would love that level of expertise available on tap... or maybe not. Any advice/sympathy gladly received...I know this is hardly a unique situation across the land!!

OP posts:
dataandspot · 11/02/2017 18:43

I like beans

I used to be a teacher too! I really understand your pain!

If it helps my child stunned us all with their results. I hope this is your outcome too.

dataandspot · 11/02/2017 18:46

I like beans

I know you don't believe in paying for results but is there a treat/ reward you could put after the exams or just emphasise how much free time there will be after the exams. This really helped my child!

Original poster
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 11/02/2017 18:47

Thanks data - it is what it is but I don't want him to wish he had listened to his dear old mum and not his silly fibbing friends!!

Or to leave it all to the last minute which I abhor. God, at my school, we even have sessions that we officially entitle 'Last Minute Revision sessions'. The kids come to them in their droves... and sincerely believe this will get them through.

Used to be a teacher, eh? ? You doing something less stressful now?
I swear there is not much more stressful than being an English teacher teaching the new GCSE with a year 11 child doing the new GCSEs...!

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 11/02/2017 18:49

I second butterfly's comment about osteopaths btw.

OP posts:
Gatehouse77 · 11/02/2017 18:53

Have to say I backed off completely as I got fed up with the cyclical conversations. I offered help and left it to them to ask. Same with DH.

We did also talk about how they're stepping stones to the next stage. If they didn't achieve it first time round that's okay, we'll deal with the consequences. And they had to accept them too. And take responsibility for them - it wasn't going to be the fault of the teachers or us but theirs if they didn't put the work in.

Original poster
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 11/02/2017 18:54

I will think of a treat! God knows what he will do with his time after the exams! Hadn't even thought of that....

OP posts:
Roomster101 · 11/02/2017 18:54

Roomster , I agree and it's not their last set.

If you agree that they are overdoing the mocks, then why try to make him revise? It seems a bit counterproductive as they may be tired and bored of revision by the time they get to the actual GCSEs and ultimately not do as well. It must seem relentless.

Roomster101 · 11/02/2017 18:57

I also don't agree with giving rewards for passing exams. I just talk about how it will be over with soon and then they will have a very long summer holiday.

Original poster
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 11/02/2017 18:57

Thanks Gatehouse. He just isn't very emotionally mature at the moment (July baby!) but he does sometimes say he likes revising with me. Today is not one of those days. baby steps I suppose. Sometimes I am imprisoned in his room with flashcards and French speaking tests!
He needs adrenalin to work. I could probably bribe him with Diet Dr Pepper. It's the shoulder shrugging and lack of impetus but , yes, maybe I should chill a little.

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 11/02/2017 19:00

Roomster I want him to revise because it's a principle I suppose. Also, the real things are 14 weeks away , so actually I see this as a longer term revision need. I am actually annoyed they are interrupting his revision for mocks! It is making him revise very specific topics and discard the stuff he actually really needs to focus on. I may not have explained that very well...

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 11/02/2017 19:02

He is bored already though, yes. He gets 2 days off this week when he goes to grandma's though!

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junebirthdaygirl · 11/02/2017 19:04

I had this with DS at that age. Different exam as in lreland. Teacher too. He would suddenly appear before me with two days to go and expect me to beat the whole course into him in two nights. Full engagement but too late. He did okayish. Went on to 18, grew up did his Leaving cert year, studying hard, got his course and is flying at university. No amount of persuasion made up for simple maturity. One thing l did was say it's in your hands. I'm sure you know what you're doing. If l had known how he would have matured l would have wasted little effort. It will be fine.

NotYoda · 11/02/2017 19:05

I have decided the only thing I can do is remove laptop and create the space for him to work. I can't make him use that space. Let's see how it goes.

Had similar coversations to Gatehouse then left him to it.

I was also like you, OP, but it had its downsides. I am trying to have faith that his way of doing things is valid.

I am actually glad I don't know much about what it is exactly that he should be doing. I don't think it would make me any better at persuading him to do it.

eddiemairswife · 11/02/2017 19:08

I knew with my eldest that the more he was pushed to revise the more he would dig his heels in and refuse, so left him to it. This was some time ago; when his results came out he had achieved the whole range of grades from O level A for English Language (no revision required!) to CSE 2 (Latin). The other three just got on with it when their turn came. I don't think dire warnings about job prospects in the future are helpful at all. Many people gain qualifications later in life when they are more motivated to study.

Original poster
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 11/02/2017 19:08

Thanks both - I feel better a bit now!

the trouble with the laptop is the school puts all it sodding revision stuff online. But it is better when I supervise him with actual study guides on the whole. You are right though, he will do exactly what you say and suddenly approach me and ask for help. Which I will happily give him :)

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Original poster
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 11/02/2017 19:11

Aha! eddie English language is the one thing I can (usually) get him to willingly revise. He is good at it. He likes revising things he is good at. But we did fall out today about English language as I wanted him to work on the one thing he doesn't get. I think this is actually the issue. Lack of confidence. Where I always would have worked hardest at my weakest things, he is the opposite. For example, he has basically hidden his copy of 'Great Expectations' ! (God knows what his English teacher was thinking there...)

OP posts:
Roomster101 · 11/02/2017 19:12

14 weeks seems like a long time to me and for many children far too early to start revising. I don't think I did that even for my degree. Whilst it is not a good idea to leave everything to the last minute I don't think the ones who spend months revising are necessarily the ones who get the best results. For many, it will be counterproductive.

Flyingprettycretonnecurtains · 11/02/2017 19:14

Went through year 11 last year. Hell hell hell. Am a teacher (English and a SENCO) so I know what it is like. Will he let me help with English...noooooo.

School science was crap so hired a tutor for Chemistry and Phys. Last Easter, I took him away on 'holiday', essentially a mobile home, where we did non stop Biology revision plus some nicer things too. He passed science. We both knew he'd not get a c in History. He passed some but failed maths and English. Consequently he couldn't do the courses he wanted at college but has taken level 2 plus retakes. He is very good at Maths and failed due to a medical condition that the twit didn't tell me about until far too late to apply for special consideration. Anyway, he passed the retake.

I did far more work than him last year. Made notes, cards, mind maps. If you aren't a teacher, it's really hard to understand the panic because it's all you do at work. In actuality, this 'intermediate' year has been really good. We are all a lot more relaxed. He's happy and loves college. If it all goes tits up (he is crap at exams ) then there are apprenticeships. I really recommend the Btec route and hopefully he will get a job or higher level apprenticeship. He has some skills in a sport that is earning him money. I have to butt out and if he cocks up then that's his problem but It's bloody hard especially where I work where pupils sob if they don't get straight
A grades.

Original poster
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 11/02/2017 19:21

I haven't hired any tutors. I think DS1 probably isn't aware how many hours a week his friends spend with tutors. certainly most of the kids I teach have two or three, poor sods! Our kids sob about the straight As too!
My lad wouldn't suit a BTec but I know many do and that they are undervalued.

FWIW Roomster I think it depends on what we mean by revision re the 14 weeks. Consolidation and practice I don't thin is ever too early. In my experience the ones who do that, and who involve parents and teachers as a support network to best. But DS1 wouldn't have to be doing 'intense' revision if it weren't for exams next week. I'll step a bit off the accelerator for a while after that. may even plan a treat after them. he is hard to treat as he doesn't spend money and doesn't really like films or have expensive hobbies. McDonalds here we come.

OP posts:
winewolfhowls · 11/02/2017 19:23

Could you bribe him with driving lessons, or the opportunity to have a drive on private land somewhere if you know anyone with some ( if he's not near to 17). Lads particularly seem to be super keen to learn to drive.

Original poster
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 11/02/2017 19:26

Good idea but not sure it would work. He isn't 17 until the end of year 12!
I quite like the going away at Easter idea.. just me, DS1 and me flashcards flying!

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Roomster101 · 11/02/2017 19:43

ILikeBeansWithKetchup I agree that consolidation and practice are a good idea. I just don't think revising for exams at this stage is beneficial and if DD's school were having another set of mock exams I would certainly not be hassling her to revise as I think it would be totally counterproductive. I want her to be fairly relaxed at the moment so that she is able to focus and revise effectively nearer the time. I'm really surprised that children at your school have two or three tutors. We live in a grammar school are and I don't know anyone who does that!

Original poster
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 11/02/2017 19:51

Really?? Gosh! Did they use them at 10 and 11 to get in and then ditch them maybe?
DH teaches in a private school and even some of them have tutors.
I teach a year 11 class on the old C/D borderline. 30-40% of them have tutors, so they would be below Grammar School ability.

OP posts:
Roomster101 · 11/02/2017 19:59

Really?? Gosh! Did they use them at 10 and 11 to get in and then ditch them maybe?

Yes, I think that most have a tutor at age 10 or 11 for the 11 plus (my dds did an hour a week) but not after that. In fact, I think it's quite hard to find a tutor for older children because they seem to prefer 11 plus tuition (a lot easier than GCSE tuition, I think).

AlecTrevelyan006 · 11/02/2017 20:05

The problem with revision is that even if you quite like the subject and are quite good at it, then it's still boring. And if you don't like the subject and/or aren't very good at it, then it's really boring - as well being stressful and de-motivating.

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