Neighbour Wars, AIBU?

[TwoTribesGoToWar]

I have name changed for this, for obvious reasons.

Background info:
We live down a dead-end track, at the end of which are two semi-detached houses (one of which is ours) and a recently converted barn. The track maintenance falls between all three families and it tends to get quite pot-hole-y in the winter. Historically, some farmers used to own a big metal shed on the track and the old man of the family who owned it used to potter up every morning and liked to fill in the pot holes a tiny bit at a time and we'd give them some money to pay for the planings that would be delivered periodically (the black tarry scrapings from when they tarmac roads). This worked really well and the track never got too bad. The maintenance of the track fell four ways at that point - us, our attached neighbours, the farmers who owned the metal barn/shed and the property developer who owned the brick barn at the time.

Some new people bought the old brick barn and converted it, then decided they also wanted to buy the metal bar/shed to use for storage. This caused a bit of consternation as they then told us that the track maintenance would now be split three ways instead of four (still with me?). As far as we were concerned, the barn owners should now be responsible for 2/4 of the track maintenance and we stay with 1/4 as previously - we shouldn't have our share increased because they've bought extra property, should we?

Anyway. Now the old man doesn't come anymore obviously, so DH, and very occasionally our attached neighbour, will go out and fill in some of the pot holes, using stone that we all pay for (doesn't need much as often the stone is all still around the edges of the actual holes). The barn owners - who have been here for about three years now - have NEVER helped with this. Their solution is to buy a shit load of stone, hire a bloke for a day and to just smother the entire track, which doesn't actually solve the underlying pot hole problem so they come back again quickly.

This time, that option came up again and DH said he'd rather we all went out there for a couple of hours and filled in the holes with the existing stone. Barn man wasn't happy with this and said he'd speak to the other neighbour and then yesterday there appeared a massive pile of stone and a bloke this morning filling in the holes. He's demanded £130 off us for this. DH has refused and the neighbour has had a massive row with him, telling him that DH wouldn't know a hard day's work if it hit him in the face etc etc etc (DH works incredibly hard but barn man is a plumber so does a manual job). He also threatened DH if we didn't pay - I'll get that money off you, don't you worry mate, you see if I don't.

AIBU? Should we pay for the unnecessary stone and the labour? DH has been out there for 2 hours and has actually done more of the track than the bloke who was hired to do it. I'm absolutely fuming.

Sorry for the rant, but the background info was pertinent!

It's just so horrible. We moved here for some peace and tranquility and he's just ruining it.

I sympathise completely. We didn't come here for peace and tranquillity. We just expected it, but some people have other ideas.

MillieMoodle's free advice sounds really sensible. My solicitor was similar to her. He thought it was best and cheapest for us to try to reach our own agreement with our neighbour so we could go forward in an amicable fashion. He explained that he didn't have to live with our neighbour; we did. In the end that wasn't possible but he still gave good advice. There are good solicitors out there who are not interested in stealing your money. The last thing you need in this situation are people stoking your anger whether they are legally qualified or not.

As Millie says, it might be wise to get a specialist in property law to look at the deeds so you know where you stand and can make a better argument by yourself and not necessarily by having a solicitor firing off expensive letters all the time.

Just wait to see what your neighbour's next move is. It does sound like a situation that needs to be sorted. Good luck.

It's a narrow farm track to nowhere except our houses and a field (ours). Even the bin men won't come down it to collect our rubbish so there's absolutely no way the council would adopt it.
The plan is to concrete it eventually (two strips rather than completely covered) but this again is something that barn man is pushing to go ahead ASAP - I suspect so it puts the value of his house up so he can sell it at a later date (sooner rather than later I hope!). It would benefit all of us to have concrete - would make dropping the kids off at the school bus in the morning a whole lot less muddy in the winter! - but it isn't going to be cheap and was something the two families in the semis have talked about for the future but now we're being pressurised into doing it much sooner by barn man.
Our two sets of neighbours are quite pally with each other We get the impression that both sides look down on us as being the 'poor relations' so to speak although I have no idea why as we're all from similar backgrounds and have similar incomes. Maybe I'm just being paranoid though!

We have two very good friends who are both solicitors so we do have them to speak to if necessary but they've been away this weekend, rather unhepfully!

It's a standard thing to happen over a weekend OP. My solicitor told me that a favourite trick is to drop a bombshell on the mat on Friday so that when you get home from work you stew on it all weekend.

I took very good informal advice from a solicitor friend. But there might come a point for you and your solicitor friends where you have to appoint someone to act for you formally.

Prattish as your neighbour is, try to talk to him. Talking is not capitulating. This sounds like a long process. Presumably the lane isn't going to deteriorate rapidly but it's probably better to get that kind of work done in good weather rather than bad. So this summer or maybe next spring.