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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About stepping back from voluntary work

22 replies

Chocolatebeforeeasterplease · 10/02/2017 18:14

Recently I decided to volunteer for an organisation: went through training and so on.

The problem is I have now realised I'm just not very good. And I don't think I ever will be.

The problem is if I say this they will probably offer further training. But I don't think I'll ever be able to be what they want.

What would you do

OP posts:
Original poster
Chocolatebeforeeasterplease · 10/02/2017 19:41

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
TheSpottedZebra · 10/02/2017 19:45

Do you still like or support te organisation?
Are there any other roles that you could do there?

TheSpottedZebra · 10/02/2017 19:45

Is it the Samaritans?

Original poster
Chocolatebeforeeasterplease · 10/02/2017 19:46

I don't think so. I feel awful about it but I am not very good. And I could inadvertently do more harm than good.

OP posts:
JammyDodger1 · 10/02/2017 19:46

think why you volunteered in the first place, you say you're no good at it, how do you know that?

Juveniledelinquent · 10/02/2017 19:49

It sounds like you're not enjoying it and it's not for you. It's voluntary, so just walk away from it.

Blastandtroph · 10/02/2017 19:52

Is it a confidence thing OP? Might be worth checking out with others in the organisation whether these feelings are normal first.

Original poster
Chocolatebeforeeasterplease · 10/02/2017 19:53

It's partly confidence, but I can't see that changing, really. I know it sounds a bit stupid but I just had a lightbulb moment and realised how rubbish I was!

OP posts:
Wigeon · 10/02/2017 19:55

I would try to get some feedback about how I was doing before just assuming I was rubbish. You might not be as bad as you think. I would talk to one of the employees or supervisors to see what they think about how you are doing.

PavlovianLunge · 10/02/2017 19:56

I sympathise, OP, I started a voluntary role about 15 months ago, and, for a number of reasons, just haven't settled into it at all. I'm officially on sabbatical, but realistically, I'm not going to go back.

If you really don't think it's working, perhaps talk to someone there, but don't be afraid to leave and think about other opportunities.

absolutelynotfabulous · 10/02/2017 19:56

What makes you think you're not very good?

Blastandtroph · 10/02/2017 19:57

Maybe give yourself a time limit and if things don't improve, well you know it's not for you. Good on you for trying it out though. I'd definitely check it out with others in the meantime. You may be surprised.

Flisstizzy · 10/02/2017 19:58

As the PP said, don't assume you are rubbish, ask for honest feedback on your performance.
Everyone has doubts over their performance, unless they are blessed with a huge amount of self confidence!

Original poster
Chocolatebeforeeasterplease · 10/02/2017 19:58

I have had feedback and it's always a bit shit Blush

Pav, it's hard isn't it, as you do want to do good but at the same time ...

OP posts:
Autumntactics · 10/02/2017 20:08

If you're not very good they might be pleased if you leave! Meant in a nice sort of way. I work with a lot of organisations that involve volunteers that don't necessarily turn people down but acknowledge that volunteers self select based on whether or not it is the role for them when they know a bit more about it. If you're not happy and you don't think there's anything that could make it better just tell them the truth.

AlmaMartyr · 10/02/2017 20:08

I've had this and gave it up. I actually don't think I was that rubbish, just unsupported and badly managed. I also found it incredibly stressful and began to realise it was this thing that I absolutely dreaded. I stepped down at Christmas (I gave them 4 months notice) and am so happy.

PavlovianLunge · 10/02/2017 20:12

OP, I've had maybe seven voluntary roles, some, I felt I was of use, some I didn't. With some, like the Samaritans, you can only do your best, and hope that it's enough, where others might have more of a result, for want of a better word.

If you feel that this is something you want to persevere with, then I think you should, but don't feel bad if walking away seems to be the right thing for you.

PavlovianLunge · 10/02/2017 20:14

As Alma says, structure is also important; the two roles I have enjoyed the least were the ones where the structure was, I felt, deeply flawed, and with little/no appetite for change. We might be giving our time freely, that doesn't mean it has no value.

measles64 · 10/02/2017 20:18

Find another charity don`t get down about one, they are all different. The big ones seem so blooming HR based these days it is offputting. Find yourself a nice local one.

annandale · 10/02/2017 20:18

It has taken me a long time to realise that it is a good thing to volunteer doing something you actually enjoy. Yes, check with others, but start thinking about what you would really have fun doing.

deepbreath · 10/02/2017 20:42

YANBU. I volunteered for one charity initially, and when another found out, they asked me to help them too.

Over a year has passed, and I am very happy with my first role and have been given more responsibility, which is taking up more of my time. The second is not going so well. The committee there has several issues. I get a headache every time I have to be there, and my health is suffering in other ways too. I was completely inexperienced in my role, which they knew - but I have had no support/training, yet they are asking more of me. I plan to resign in the next couple of weeks, but feel bad because I have never had to do this.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 10/02/2017 20:52

I think that when you volunteer for something, it should be something that you discover you really enjoy. I've walked away from three different volunteering choices.

I also think that it's easy for volunteers to be taken advantage of. I know some people have hugely enjoyed their voluntary work and have gone on to gain paid employment, but I'm not convinced they're in the majority.

Good luck with finding something that suits you.

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