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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this petition is not ok

245 replies

NotInMyBackYard1 · 09/02/2017 20:03

Just that really - a man convicted of possessing indecent images of children has returned from prison and gone back to live at his parent's house. The locals have got hold of this information and have now set up a petition to get him 'rehomed' somewhere with no children. Outer Hebrides?
My view is he's done his time, he wants a fresh start, as long as he keeps himself to himself then just let him be? This petition doesn't sit well with me at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotInMyBackYard1 · 09/02/2017 21:19

Sorry Black perhaps a bad example. Maybe I should have said Mars. The petition wants him 'rehomed away from children' Not sure where they envision him going that could fulfil this requirement.

OP posts:
SharkBastard · 09/02/2017 21:20

Many are victims themselves of child abuse. It's not as simple as "they're evil".

Yes, of course people have the right to petition and feel threatened, but it's not helpful. I don't begrudge people feeling the emotions they feel to such an emotive issue.

SemiNormal · 09/02/2017 21:21

Why do you care so much about this peadophiles feelings ?! - FFS it's not about paedophiles feelings it's about keeping children, ALL children, safe! Petitioning and hyperventilating about it all won't do that!

Chelazla · 09/02/2017 21:21

Shark and user maybe he could come and live next door to you.....

Sweets101 · 09/02/2017 21:22

We need to be properly treating them. Not the sop they get in an underfunded criminal justice system. We need to have ways in which people who believe they have these urges can access help. We need to be pouring money into research and treatment. We actually need to have a sensible approach and grown up discussions.
Fine, but they need to seek help before they commit the offence. Once they've been party to the sexual abuse of a child they may have to accept that society doesn't like them very much and see them as a threat, as they have already proved them self to be one.

RedAndYellowStripe · 09/02/2017 21:22

The other side is that this will have a massive effect on his own family too, people who haven't committed any crime at all.

I find it interesting that some posters are saying that studies/research has sown that stigmatising a paedophile (esp one that hasn't attacked any child yet) is counterproductive whilst others say that it will prevent a child being attacked....
So which one is it??

And yes everyone will agree that these people need on going heavy support but ... there isn't any. Everyone will agree that these feelings will stay forever but .... no support on how to deal with themis ever given (before or after offending).
Which makes me think. If you want to start a petition, start one that is demanding proper care for those people so they will never attack a child again.
Unless of course you are thinking that it's no use and no amount of help or therapy will stop them from offending. In which case, what should be proposed? To send them on an island with no children? Put them into jail by default for the rest of their lives?

Sweets101 · 09/02/2017 21:23

Many are victims themselves of child abuse
Some might well be, some certainly claim to be. It doesn't in any way negate the harm they chose to pass on.

MadMags · 09/02/2017 21:24

People should grow up about it? Grow up?? Really?

This thread is about a child sexual abuser, not a paedophile.

And, Shark, as I've said, insinuating and even outright stating that people who object to him are somehow responsible for his heinous crimes is a vile thing to say, particularly when there are plenty of posters on MN with rl experience of this.

You work with them? So what? It doesn't give you the right to make such statements, when you have no idea who's reading and what they've endured.

MadMags · 09/02/2017 21:24

People should grow up about it? Grow up?? Really?

This thread is about a child sexual abuser, not a paedophile.

And, Shark, as I've said, insinuating and even outright stating that people who object to him are somehow responsible for his heinous crimes is a vile thing to say, particularly when there are plenty of posters on MN with rl experience of this.

You work with them? So what? It doesn't give you the right to make such statements, when you have no idea who's reading and what they've endured.

RedAndYellowStripe · 09/02/2017 21:25

Sweet do you think there is any help available for them?
Do you think that they would be happy to go and ask for help if they also know they will be vilified for their thoughts, even if they haven't done anything AND they've actually asked for help?

On paper I agree with you.
In reality, nothing is in place to allow that to happen.

SittinginaSleazySnackBar · 09/02/2017 21:25

I wouldn't want a peadophile living next door though. I know my neighbour could be a peadophile but obviously I don't know.
If I discovered someone who had the potential to do awful things to my children was moving near me I would want everything done to prevent that. I mean what sort of parent would welcome a peadophile with open arms ?!
But unfortunately I don't have any solution to the problem.
You can't blame people for having such extreme reactions when it involves their children.

user1478860582 · 09/02/2017 21:25

Sweets

In the bit you highlighted I say people need to have ways of accessing help. There is no way of getting it at the moment.

AnotherUsedName13 · 09/02/2017 21:26

With any luck he will disappear and cease to breathe

Well, that's actually a fairly major issue with sex offenders. They are released into the community, hugely stigmatised, harassed, sometimes attacked, and so they vanish.

At which point no one is keeping an eye on them any more. It's pretty counter-productive.

SharkBastard · 09/02/2017 21:26

No but we can try and widen our knowledge of why people offend or develop desires. Surely this is what we need to do, we need to recognise behaviours, identify traits and look to rehabilitate? Calls to kill them all will not eradicate paedophiles

SharkBastard · 09/02/2017 21:27

And do you know my story Mads? No. I won't take offence of your attitude to me cause I know jack shit about you too

SittinginaSleazySnackBar · 09/02/2017 21:28

Semi the OP was talking about his feelings so don't FFS me please.

SemiNormal · 09/02/2017 21:28

Fine, but they need to seek help before they commit the offence. - I agree but there is such little help out there for non-offending paedophiles, it's usually only AFTER they have offended that treatment is more readily available. From what I understand if a non offending paedophile seeks help on the NHS then the NHS staff member must report this, not as a matter of law but as part of their employment contract (as I understand it anyway), even if no offence has been committed. So their only other option is for private treatment/therapy, many therapists refuse to treat them, many don't know how and others will also report. This is why stigma can be counter-productive, because the fear of being reported and subsequently investigated when they have not committed an offence but purely for seeking treatment could result in them being shunned from communities, from their families, from their jobs etc
Germany is leading the way, in my experience, when it comes to tackling the issue with Project Dunkelfeld and their adverts shown on mainstream TV ().

Sweets101 · 09/02/2017 21:29

No I do think more help is needed. I do, however, think someone this very day who had those urges could seek help if they wanted to.
There is a very real problem with re-offending, how much of that is due to lack of support and how much is due to, the pathology (?), I don't think is actually known yet is it?
I really don't think the answer is to unstigmatise the behaviour though, certainly once someone has offended.

Mcchickenbb41 · 09/02/2017 21:30

Regarding paedophiles or young child pornogrophy, there is no such thing as, " he has done his time, " it's not like burglary, paedophiles will never reform and will always reoffend
This with bells on.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 09/02/2017 21:31

He won't be roaming around free, ever!

I'm really sorry but that's just not so, is it? My late neighbour's son did 2 years for sexual abuse of children, and on release offended again, skipping to Spain before he could be arrested

In Spain he worked at an all inclusive holiday hotel - yes, the kind of place children go with their families - then later moved to Vietnam, and after that Thailand. He's now back in the UK with the Thai bride he openly bragged about "buying" and works at yet another family holiday facility

Doubtless the authorities will tell us he, too, is being carefully monitored ... and doubtless some might even believe them Hmm

Sweets101 · 09/02/2017 21:32

Well of course they would have to report it, if they act upon their urges other people are at significant risk of harm. However, if you really wanted to prevent yourself from causing that harm you would accept and acknowledge that the need to report it to ensure others safety was there.

Chelazla · 09/02/2017 21:32

All this is a pile of shit. All the people banging on about helping them, rehabilitating, they have to live somewhere... I am 100% confident in the fact that if it was your child they had so much as a picture of, you'd want them swinging from the gallows.

user1478860582 · 09/02/2017 21:33

Sweets

Ok. Where? Where do they get the help today?

Something has to change because the current system sure as hell isnt working.

SemiNormal · 09/02/2017 21:34

I really don't think the answer is to unstigmatise the behaviour though, certainly once someone has offended. - Sorry I didn't mean unstigmatise the behaviour, I appreciate it may have come across that way. What I meant was stigmatisation of people who may or may not have committed an offence, it leaves no room for rehabilitation, which is surely what the best outcome would be? We can hate the crime, we can even hate the person for committing the crime, but that doesn't mean we need to shun them and bay for their blood - I genuinely don't believe that helps at all and it's not about protecting them or forgiving them but it's about doing all that is humanly possible to prevent them from offending/reoffending.

Sweets101 · 09/02/2017 21:37

user I don't know, it’s not a side I have anything to do with. But if you were a paedophile who didn't want to offend a good first port of call would be your GPS I imagine, unless you were more bothered about protecting yourself of course.
I have to say as well, or the (limited) number of peadophiles I have come across they were manipulative and predatory in the extreme.
I do agree though, it is an under resourced area. But looking at recent history, is it really any wonder?