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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Valentine cards for your children?

189 replies

queenoftheknight · 09/02/2017 18:08

I saw these for the first time today, and my first thought was that it was a bit weird, in quite a yuk kind of way.

Added to which, if I got my children valentine cards, they would die of terminal embarrassment.

Is this very, VERY weird, or AIBU?

OP posts:
ArcheryAnnie · 10/02/2017 15:58

I'm with all the "weird and creepy" answers here.

I mean, I hate eros-love valentines, too. But stretching it to other types of love - no.

MouseLove · 10/02/2017 16:21

My mum has sent me a valentines card marked with a ? for as long as I can remember. I'm married and 33. It's not a romantic thing. It's a reminder that I'm loved. I can never see that as a bad thing. I have a wonderful relationship with my parents.

Vanillaradio · 10/02/2017 16:47

My dps used to send me one when I was a child. My best friend (female and straight) has sent me one too. I don't see anything weird about, it just means love, doesn't have to be romantic or sexual love.

yorkshapudding · 10/02/2017 16:51

I can't get worked up about this. If someone wants to buy their child a card and a little treat on valentine's day it's not hurting anyone is it? Equally, those who don't do this aren't depriving their children of anything.

Posters describing it as "weird", "creepy" and "disturbing" are reading way too much into something very trivial in my opinion.

LoreleiGilmorethesecond · 10/02/2017 17:03

When I was a child my Nan always sent us a Thornton's lolly and a card each from ? We always posted one to her too.
She has always been single, and I still send her one now. So does my mum.

My daughter always gets one from one boy or another (she's 10)

I don't send my kids cards, but I think I will start. It's nice just to let them know they are loved and pop in a little aspirational quote. I do this with my daughter, I collect postcards that have nice things on them and pop a little note on the back and she washi tapes them to her wall.

School are holding a Valentine's disco, and why not? Raises money for the school, kids get to run off some excess energy with their mates, and get to wear their very underused "posh" clothes.

Valentine's is about Love and celebrating your loved one/ones. Doesn't have to be about who you sleep with.

Amy345 · 10/02/2017 18:01

Bizarre idea, sounds like another way for shops to encourage us to part with our money!

ljfarminer · 10/02/2017 19:37

I loved the valentines cards that my kids made at nursery last year i.e. "I love you mummy and daddy". I might make something similar to give them! I wouldn't buy a card but I see nothing wrong with it being a day of expressing your love for all the family!!

cgne · 10/02/2017 20:19

clearly it's not a need (hence '') but children are influenced to think it is when their peers get gifts, cards on an arbitrary day for an arbitrary reason

FarAwayHills · 10/02/2017 20:21

My DDs always get very excited about Valentines - something to do with hearts, chocolates and cute teddy bears probably. DH gets them a card and a chocolate heart or something just so they feel involved. It's just another celebration and a bit of fun we need something to cheer us up on these grey cold days.

swinkle · 10/02/2017 20:23

I've always thought Valentine's Day was just a bit of fun, but specifically related to romantic/sexual love and attraction. It was never anything else for me growing up, never received anything from my parents and never wanted to! It seemed like something to look forward to happening when I grew up and had a boyfriend.

I know someone with a DS and she's never done anything Valentine'sy for him before, but she's doing it with him this year specifically because she's now single after her husband left her a few years ago and she's sad about not having a partner for it. I get that she's trying to celebrate other kinds of love and I do try to find it sweet but I struggle not to be creeped out by it, tbh. I've been miserable at being alone at this time of year loads of times, but it would feel just a bit wrong to me to celebrate with a child (or any other type of relationship for that matter!) instead, kind of like I was clutching at straws!

Having said that, I didn't grow up in a particularly loving household. Maybe it would have been nice to have it celebrated as an all round love thing as a kid! And it is just a load of cash-grabbing nonsense. But... I've only ever seen it as marketed as being a specifically romantic/sexy load of cash- grabbing nonsense...nah, it's weird af, sorry!! Grin

AlisonJuggler · 10/02/2017 20:30

I've always bought my kids a Valentines card each. I decided when they were little to make Valentines day just about 'love' in general, so they grew up seeing it as a positive thing, not a day for feeling sad or left out. I often find it difficult to find suitable cards that aren't about romance or sex, so I'm pleased to hear that card shops are selling designs suitable for giving to your kids.

TowerRavenSeven · 10/02/2017 20:34

Not weird at all. I'm a greeting card lady and we sell loads of them for kids, grandparents, mothers/fathers, friends hell even dogs and cats!! Here in the States it's more of a holiday for all rather than just lovers.

Sweetest day ( more in the Midwest) is more about lovers.

I got one for both my husband and my ds, plus little tokens and I'm making chocolate covered strawberries for them both.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 10/02/2017 22:03

I can't believe there are schools that think it is a worthwhile use of their time to mess about making Valentines cards.
OK if the kids choose to make one in their choosing time, or whatever, but not teachers actually doing it as a whole class activity.

mammmamia · 10/02/2017 23:11

More a nursery activity really. My DS made a card in after school club and the other things in his golden time. He's in year 2. His twin sister hasn't done any of those things!

AbernathysFringe · 11/02/2017 02:21

''St. Valentine is the Patron Saint of affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travellers, and young people. He is represented in pictures with birds and roses and his feast day is celebrated on February 14'' from the Catholic.org website.
Don't forget the bee keepers. Send them cards. We need them.

herecomesthsun · 11/02/2017 08:58

I have bought a lot of nice food for Valentine's day and the kids will def help us eat it, especially any chocolate Smile

Lottieloves · 11/02/2017 09:11

Dd is 8 and ds 6. I will get them a card and a little present. We tell each other everyday, that we love them..... but my dd loves all the excitement of it. I will put the card under her bedroom door Monday night. She won't question how it got there.

thethoughtfox · 11/02/2017 09:31

I am getting dd a red rose because a mummy chicken gives the little chick one in her favourite book and all his little duck friends tell him him his mummy must really love him to give him that.

Notso · 11/02/2017 10:05

I think it's a bit odd but then I find it strange when couples make a fuss for Valentines Day.
I remember feeling unloved as a teen, my boyfriend had finished with me and I was huffing to my Mum that my best friend got valentines cards from her Mum and her Dad. My Mum then got me some chocolates and I felt even worse because she only got them because I asked her and they were from my Mum.

SpringerS · 11/02/2017 10:18

I usually ignore Valentines day but reading this thread has changed my mind. I'm going to make DS a special breakfast of waffles, strawberries and cream with hot chocolate. And I'm going to give him one of the small toys in the attic that I bought on clearance after Christmas. Why not make a bit of a celebration of it. Christmas was forever ago to a 4yo and Easter is further off still. So it will be nice to make a bit of a fuss on a cold, boring Tuesday.

We used to make Valentines cards for our parents in school 30 years ago, so that's nothing new. And I remember as an older child/teen watching some episode of an American family comedy where the kids got Valentines day gifts from their dad. I don't remember much other than the teen daughter getting a blue sweater she really wanted. I watched it feeling disdain that it was a 'weird American thing' to get presents from your parents on a day for couples and if I'm honest, envy that I didn't get a present in mid-February.

Ohyesiam · 11/02/2017 11:12

It's just another bit of commercialisation, but as my associations with valentines are romance and fancying it seems odd.

BroomstickOfLove · 11/02/2017 11:29

My dad keeps bees, so I'll have to send him a card.

SpringerS · 11/02/2017 13:43

I googled 'episode blue sweater Valentines day' and discovered it was an early episode of Full House. I knew it was one of the Bob Saget raises daughters with help from male relatives after wife dies comedies.

fullhouse.wikia.com/wiki/Little_Shop_of_Sweaters

CaraAspen · 11/02/2017 13:54

It's yet another American thing and it's stupid.

SpringerS · 11/02/2017 14:01

my associations with valentines are romance and fancying

That's the thing though. It's a 'holiday' almost designed to make a lot of people feel left out and miserable. It's pretty much horrible. (I know other 'holidays' like Mothers Day etc can have a similar effect but more than any, Valentines can make people feel like a loser for being ineligible to celebrate.) So maybe it's not a bad idea to change the association from just romantic love but to one that includes family love and friend love too.