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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Valentine cards for your children?

189 replies

queenoftheknight · 09/02/2017 18:08

I saw these for the first time today, and my first thought was that it was a bit weird, in quite a yuk kind of way.

Added to which, if I got my children valentine cards, they would die of terminal embarrassment.

Is this very, VERY weird, or AIBU?

OP posts:
mycatwantstokillme1 · 10/02/2017 13:10

My dad used to get me one every year from our cat & i do the same now for my son [smiles] and I don't care what people think. I've still got the cards fro my childhood mog & love looking at them every now and then and I'm sure my son will too when he's older!

Xmasbaby11 · 10/02/2017 13:11

My dad did this when I was little. And my best friend and i exchanged cards in high school. My dc are 3 and 5 and at nursery they made me and dh valentines. I do feel like my children are the love of my life in a way! I've never given them anything. May do some fun baking or draw hearts or something. I prefer the general interpretation of it being about love than something just romantic.

IsadoraQuagmire · 10/02/2017 13:11

I'd forgotten that Witchend I probably haven't read Katy since I was about 11 (though I read all 3 of the books so many times before then, you'd think I'd remember the details! Incidentally, is your user name a reference to Malcolm Saville?

Blackhouse · 10/02/2017 13:13

nosyupnorth your grandad sound absolutely adorable! Smile my son aged 13 would think I'd lost the plot if I bought him a vday card.Confused when he was in P1 another parent bought a huge extravagant card for her daughter gave it to him... I thought that was really odd!

TinselTwins · 10/02/2017 13:14

It's creepy. My mum used to do this but she's not normal, it wasn't my fault she was lonely and had nobody else to mention the day to. I always hated it.

BroomstickOfLove · 10/02/2017 13:15

I'm finding it weird that other people are finding it weird.

Do the people who find it disturbing do lots of romance based activities on Valentine's day?

It's always been about all sorts of love in our household, with everyone joining in in a big sappy day of mutual adoration.

TinselTwins · 10/02/2017 13:17

My mum would always send me a secret valentine from when i was quite young and i knew it was her and i found it odd even then. Especially when she carried on after i started getting real ones! (early teens)

Yeah mine switched to the secret ones once I became a tween - and then would make a display of asking me "so did you get any cards" on front of people and making me say "yes, one"
It was fucking horrible!
Please discourage this if you have grandparents doing it for your kids, it's all about the giver, it's horrible for the kid, they know it's not from a real admirer which is a bit more depressing than getting none at all!

Fingalswave · 10/02/2017 13:19

I don't know why everyone is being so prescriptive about this! A secret sender card doesn't have to be a shy expression of romantic love. A child can receive a card signed anonymously and know full well who it's from and appreciate the joke! It's a bit like them pretending to believe in Fr Christmas when they know full well he's not real!

And this doesn't have to be about commercialism, you can make your own cards or biscuits or whatever!

It's simply a bit of fun; really don't understand the fuss!

TinselTwins · 10/02/2017 13:22

A child can receive a card signed anonymously and know full well who it's from and appreciate the joke!

when you are the kid getting these cards, the joke is ON you not WITH you!

It feels like getting a "just incase you don't get any real cards" card.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 10/02/2017 13:24

My mam and dad used to get us a chocolate heart from Thorntons every year. I've got DD a packet of chocolate hugs from Hotel Chocolat.

Fingalswave · 10/02/2017 13:30

I'm sorry you didn't feel the same way Tinsel but children can experience things in different ways. I absolutely loved getting cards signed anonymously or supposedly from my current idols because I appreciated the trouble that people had gone to, and knew it was done in a spirit of love and fun etc. I also found it quite exciting rushing to see what was in the letterbox! I guess it all depends on the intentions behind it. I never felt they were doing it "in case you didn't get any real cards". We all laughed about it together. Sorry that you had a bad experience, but not everyone's experience is the same!

mrschiefy · 10/02/2017 13:33

It's an American thing .... kids give Valentines cards like we give Christmas cards ... and according to school assembly this morning St Valentine was about loving each other and being kind to each other .... not romance

Abetes · 10/02/2017 13:34

Sorry I'm another one who thinks it is just weird and creepy.

Funnyonion17 · 10/02/2017 13:42

What's wrong with a bit of fun? I love valentine's, pancake day, good Friday, Easter etc. In our house these days are a bit of fun together, maybe a treat and a few decorations. Making memories I guess.

There is no romance involved, it's more like Easter with heart shaped chocolate etc. Kids remember the small efforts, I don't think it's creepy.

TinselTwins · 10/02/2017 13:57

funnyonion, pancakes and heart shaped cookies are fun

valentines cards to your kids is different IMO, it's a bit more "loaded" than making fun heartshaped food

BroomstickOfLove · 10/02/2017 14:06

In what way is it loaded? The Valentine's cards I received as a child were never intended to deceive. We got them from long before we had any interest in boyfriends or girlfriends, so they felt very much like Easter eggs, or Christmas stockings.

BlueStockingUK · 10/02/2017 14:07

I haven't seen any card yet addressed to children from parents, but I most certainly send my children one, without one iota of giving a tossie doodle what other 'better parents' than myself think😍

TinselTwins · 10/02/2017 14:07

well making cookies = celebrating valentines day

valentines cards are what you give to your valentine - they have a different meaning.

zukiecat · 10/02/2017 14:15

Not a new thing for me, or American!

I'm 50 and I used to get one for my dad up until I was 8 or 9

Never did it with my own, but XH was a waste of space and I wouldn't have wasted any money on him

The ones I used to send to my dad were innocent little things, just saying "Love You Daddy"

WineAndTiramisu · 10/02/2017 14:17

I always got a card from my great uncle, signed anonymously, but I knew it was him. I've got fond memories of that now he's passed away, never thought it was odd at all!

TickettyBoo · 10/02/2017 14:47

I've done this whilst she's little but as she gets older I can't imagine doing so.

Funnyonion17 · 10/02/2017 14:49

Yea but you can get cards aimed for children and other relatives you love. Nothing about them is romantic, just declarations of affection. To me it's a bit like getting your Nana a Mother's day card.

I don't really think parents who send their kids anonymous cards are weirdos either. It's no more odd then us pretending a big fat man creeps into their room Xmas Eve, or a fairy that pays them for teeth that have fell out.

We have many strange ways of fun really to create magic for kids, some we are just more accustomed to!

jopickles · 10/02/2017 14:55

I always get my daughter a little cute card and a present for valentines and she loves it she even asked the other day if I had remembered this year. it's like a lot of things people ask about on here, if you want to do it then do it, if you don't then don't but don't judge other people on what they choose

cgne · 10/02/2017 14:59

just another 'need' invented by a company to prise money out of us 🙄

Funnyonion17 · 10/02/2017 15:11

It's not a 'need' though. It doesn't have to cost much either. Heart shaped toast for breakfast and maybe a 50p valentine's bun. That's what mine got as toddlers. Now I make it more of an occasion, it's fun!

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