To expect more feedback from preschool

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

DS (2.5) has just started sessions at a nursery/preschool. He is finding the initial separation from me difficult (hysterical at drop off, has to be physically dragged off me).

From what I can tell he's settling OK after the initial hysterics but I'm not getting any feedback from staff other than breezy "oh yes he's fine" style responses when I pick him up.

DS was previously with a childminder who gave me detailed run-downs of his day and I'm not sure what to expect from a nursery/pre-school.

AIBU to expect more than "he's fine"?

Interested in responses to this as my DS will be starting when he's 3 and he will be the same when I leave him! I will want a bit more detail after the first few sessions...

I was a cm and it's a very intimate relationship with a few parents.

Precschool is far busier and I expect as soon as you go he is just fine.

Wait for parents review for more details. They can't be giving lots of info to everyone daily as probably too busy.

If you really worried grab his care worker and ask specifics.

I was a cm and it's a very intimate relationship with a few parents.

Precschool is far busier and I expect as soon as you go he is just fine.

Wait for parents review for more details. They can't be giving lots of info to everyone daily as probably too busy.

If you really worried grab his care worker and ask specifics.

Bit different as my son is at pre-school in the private nursery he has attended since the age of 1. However, at pick up a member of staff always comes over to give us a brief run through of the day, what they have done/enjoyed/struggled with, and also what they have eaten and how much. If I were you I would want to know a bit more!

We don't get much feedback from pre-school on a day-to-day basis as there is usually a queue of parents waiting to pick up so I think (understandably) they just want to return each child as quickly as possible. They do however sometimes give a quick update such as "X loved playing with the play-doh today".

They also have a 'red book' for each child in which they write down things the child has been doing with photographs which is really nice. This book is kept in each child's individual drawer and updated every few weeks so is good to flick through and see what DD has been up to.

In addition, they aim to schedule a catch-up once a term to chat through each child's progress. This means they can chat with you at a quieter time and give you one-to-one attention. Perhaps you could ask if your pre-school does something similar and if not, whether you could schedule a meeting to have a chat.

Hmm, in the early settling in stage I'd expect a bit more feedback really. Just a "he was upset for a few minutes then got interested in playing with XYZ" or something like that. At our preschool, a quick "how was she today?" would always elicit a bit of detail, or even just hovering looking conversational really! We did also have a contact book where they'd jot down a sentence or so about what she'd been up to maybe once or twice a week, do you have anything like that? Obviously they can't do a detailed run-down every day like a CM might.

On the whole that's a YANBU though.

I collect my 2 yo nephew from nursery 3 days a week and get a written report on what he's eaten / when he's napped / nappy changes and activities that day bullet pointed. The KW also has a chat with me about how he's been that day.

My ds will also be going to that nursery when I go back to work after maternity leave.

I wouldn't be happy with a nursery that had to physically drag a toddler in and then received no report at the end of the day.

Surely at the age the key worker only has 5 children in their care so not hard to jot down a report and have a chat with the parent / guardian.

I don't really get any feedback from my children's nursery which is fine by me, what do I need to know? I'm sure if your son wasn't fine they'd say.

Sorry, I do get a small note with a few bits written on, they did messy play etc. But that's it.

Is it school nusery/preschool or private?

My DS went to a private nusery and we got a full run down of what he'd been up to / eaten at pick up. When he started school, it's just pick up and that's it.

I guess when you are paying a private nursery for a service you get more....erm... service. Schools are a totally different beast so you can't expect the same level of attention. It's a shock to the system but I get why.

Just re-read and seen he is 2.5 so I am guessing it's a private nursery?? I would expect a half decent run down of what got up to but probably not chapter and verse. My nursery does parents evenings twice a year where they show you their work and discuss progress in more detail.

Looks like a bit of a mixed bag then in terms of what other people get in terms of feedback.

Obviously it's completely different to our childminder where we used to have a 10min natter most days as well as book detailing every bowel movement!

It's more of a preschool style environment than a nursery but they take children from 2yrs and up. So all the parents pick up at the same time at end of the session and there is no time for protracted handovers as there about 20 kids they need to see out. But at the same time how hard would it be to be a bit more specific with a couple of sentences feedback for the only child that is wailing and screaming at the start of the session?

I will try quizzing them harder on specifics!

There will be a big difference in what is offered by a 'standard' preschool or nursery (ie offering 3/4 hour sessions only, with DC then collected by parents or caters) and what is offered to a child in the preschool bit of a private day nursery (which is essentially daycare and will offer wraparound care from 7.30 to 6 or whatever for working parents.

With the former, you'd get a quick catch up of any specific issues if there have been any on a daily basis, and a 'parent consultation' type meeting maybe once a term. Plus you'd expect your child's keyworker to touch base with you about any concerns during the settling in process, but it would be an informal chat, not a written essay.

With the latter, it's basically daycare (even if in the preschool bit of it) and therefore you'd get a formal written report more like a childminder's ie what they've done and eaten and how often they've pooed etc etc.

So it depends which one your DC is at, but if preschool rather than daycare it is probably pretty standard tbh.

dietcoke yes it is more of the former than latter - they have set 3-4 hour sessions during term time, not a full daycare facility.

I used to get a little home contact book with a little paragraph in it every few days (and every day at first). Just letting me know what he particularly enjoyed playing with or anything in particular they were working with him on.

My ds is at pre school that sounds very similar to yours op- short sessions with most dc either doing morning or afternoon at first and then a few older ones doing full days (9.15-2.45). I get no real feedback on a day to day basis (ds is just turned 3 and goes one full day and one half day a week)other than a casual 'he's been fine' at pick up. We do however have an on line tracking system where all of the levels he's at are detailed and there are little video clips of things he's done with comments. I also get half-termly progress reports- or at least I have until now because he's been a bit speech delayed, they're switching then to termly now he's started talking. I don't really expect anything written after each session, if a key worker has 5 dc then spending 5 minutes writing a little report on each would take 25 minutes out of a 2.5 hour session and I'd rather they were with the kids.

That sounds similar to ours Miaow, just little 20 second clips with a one line comment every few sessions, usually when he's done something new or particularly noteworthy. I should say I also get 'feedback' from ds- there's often a masterpiece of some description to show what craft he's done or a bag of very dirty clothes to show he's played out!

a private nursery has to give feedback etc. and is marked by the care commission on things like feedback to parents and recording what they have eaten etc. whereas a preschool nursery isn't marked. preschool nurseries don't tend to give you any information at pickup.

Thanks all this has reassured me that my experience is pretty normal.

I did manage to get a few more words out of his teacher/keyworker today who confirmed he is not crying long after I leave and is joining in and doing well .