Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep my kids away from chicken pox party?

245 replies

Badgerboop · 09/02/2017 11:06

More of a WWYD?

One of my friends is having a kids party tomorrow and both of my children have been invited. I've just found out via Facebook that the birthday girl has got chicken pox in the contagious stage. The mother is not going to postpone the party and it's still going ahead.

Neither of my kids have had it. I wouldn't mind the eldest one catching it as I think she would cope with it but I really don't want my youngest to catch it as she's just getting over a cold, ear and chest infection which has knocked her for 6 and neither of us have had any sleep for the past 5 days!

Shall I just decline the invite or just take them? She's the type of woman who will get funny with me if I decline. I thought about just taking the eldest but if she catches it she will obv pass onto th youngest

OP posts:
AgedRelative · 09/02/2017 21:52

Sorry for not having RTFT but if chicken pox is going round your DC may be exposed. If they are get them on antihistamines asap.

FireInTheHead · 09/02/2017 22:04

How bloody irresponsible and even worse if she hasn't informed all the guests, I'd be furious if anyone did that to me.

The eve of his 4th birthday ds1 broke out in chickenpox, we had a party booked at a local play centre, birthday boy had to stay home with me, no way he could have gone, he was running a raging temperature and covered from head to foot - eyelids genitals, anus, in his mouth and between his toes. He was horribly sick with it and took weeks to be half way normal. Even if he'd had the mildest of mild cases though no way would I have exposed his party guests to infection like that. Ex-DH and Nana did the honours as hosts and apparently everyone had a brilliant time.

Katieb78 · 09/02/2017 23:19

When my eldest (age 2) got chicken pox it was really inconvenient.we were due to go on our summer holiday so it was most invenient and almost stopped us from flying to Spain so touch and go whether we could go.a year later on. Christmas Day my brother phoned me to say my nephew had chicken pox so asked Should they come for the day. My response was of course. My youngest boy, age 5 months old at the time, got chicken pox as a result. It was great for us as we knew at the time that we didn't have anything on that it would affect y and also my boy was 5 months old and he knew nothing about having chicken pox. He had no idea he was ill. I am all for the pox parties as to me they are a benefit

PurpleDaisies · 09/02/2017 23:22

It was great for us as we knew at the time that we didn't have anything on that it would affect y and also my boy was 5 months old and he knew nothing about having chicken pox. He had no idea he was ill. I am all for the pox parties as to me they are a benefit

You were incredibly lucky your five month old didn't end up in hospital with pneumonia or meningitis. Havd you not read the thread and seen how sick children can be with chicken pox? What a horrible gamble to take with your child's health.

Only1scoop · 09/02/2017 23:27

Wow either ignorant or just Solid as a rock

user1484394242 · 09/02/2017 23:29

What Purple said ^

I was just writing that. I can not believe how irresponsible some parents are

Monkeysmum03 · 09/02/2017 23:31

I can't honestly believe that it's a question! ! My daughter was soooo ill when she had chicken pox, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I certainly wouldn't be taking my child anywhere knowing they could get it. Oh and contagious periods aren't an exact science. My youngest came out in his first spot three days after the day the doctors had said if he hadn't spotted he hadn't caught it.

Twopeapods · 09/02/2017 23:37

I personally wouldn't go.
It can be a horrible thing for kids to suffer.
My DD1 got it very badly, totally covered, high temp and some got infected. I was so distraught that I managed to get DD2 quickly vaccinated at the travel clinic. She had already been exposed, and did end up with it, but only had a handful of very small spots, not ill at all, and had not a mark on her after about 5 days. While DD1 who had it for 3 weeks was still covered in scabs and fighting infection. I will always regret not getting her vaccinated.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 09/02/2017 23:53

You can also get antivirals once you are infected, but I suspect they don't prescribe willingly for children.

JugglingMuggle · 10/02/2017 07:45

My daughter was fine (age 2) but my son, also aged 2 got very sick indeed. He had pox in his eyes and they got so infected his eyes were swollen shut. He was on antibiotics and could have lost his sight. I would never knowingly expose my children to CP. I would not take them to the party if the choice was mine.

tiggytape · 10/02/2017 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bruffin · 10/02/2017 08:23

it was great for us as we knew at the time that we didn't have anything on that it would affect y and also my boy was 5 months old and he knew nothing about having chicken pox. He had no idea he was ill. I am all for the pox parties as to me they are a benefit

Also 5 months is not a good age to get it as they are more likely to get it again and more likely to get shingles as a child.

splendide · 10/02/2017 08:31

If you'd rather vaccinate, then do that, but 20 deaths a year per country is not someting I'd consider high risk.

I vaccinated because I wanted to avoid an unpleasant illness even without accounting for an unlikely worst case scenario.

Housemum · 10/02/2017 09:46

I chose to get DD3 vaccinated privately (wish I could remember whether it was single or double dose now reading this thread) because I didn't know before that it existed. DD2 was miserable with chickenpox - spots everywhere including her vulva and round her eyes so she could barely open them, that was the only reason I went for the vaccine. Now I work as a receptionist on a children's ward I would definitely get the jab - I never realised how bad it could be. We probably see a couple of cases a month in the average sized town area that we are - and those are obviously only the ones who need to come to hospital for IV antibiotics etc, there are presumably many more with infected chickenpox being managed by the GP.

bubblemcgubble · 10/02/2017 09:50

it was great for us as we knew at the time that we didn't have anything on that it would affect y and also my boy was 5 months old and he knew nothing about having chicken pox. He had no idea he was ill. I am all for the pox parties as to me they are a benefit

bruffin is right. Children who have CP before 12 months may not build up enough immunity to CP therefore may get it again.

if you'd rather vaccinate, then do that, but 20 deaths a year per country is not someting I'd consider high risk

As a pp said - it's not just about deaths it's also about other complications. How about lifelong disabilities? How about children who are immuno-compromised? I think you'll find that's also high risk.

I have made friends with other parents whose children have had a stroke due solely to chickenpox. 50 to 80% of children are left with a lifelong disability or deficit due to a stroke. The stroke was caused due to CP. Google stroke and chickenpox and you will find lots of clinical articles all attesting to a connection.

I can't believe there are still people posting that they are happy for their children to have CP when you are reading it can cause life changing disabilities.

Bettyspants · 10/02/2017 09:52

Just catching up and very relieved to see the vast majority of mum's netters in here have the same views. As for those few saying it's a good idea I suggest you read the full thread and perhaps have a little education on recognising validity in research. How fucking disgusting that some even think this is a good idea. As for the comments regarding being pleased her 5 month old had it bloody idiotic. Clearly no idea at that age it's unlikely to even get immunity

Willyoujustbequiet · 10/02/2017 09:53

If you deliberately expose your child to CP you are a shit parent and bloody ignorant.

Some people shouldnt be allowed to have kids.

bruffin · 10/02/2017 10:22

Bubblemcgubble
ds friend had a stroke caused by CP when he was 6. He was paralyzed down one side of his body and although he got full use back, he lost months of school and was left with some LD.

bubblemcgubble · 10/02/2017 10:34

bruffin so sorry to hear that. I think once you know someone or it happens to you it doesn't feel rare anymore. Some people's opinions on here have been dreadful.

When it happened to my son he completely lost his left side. It slowly came back (the first time he moved his left arm again was to reach for his teddy in hospital).

I still remember seeing the MRI showing my son's brain damage and being completely floored when they confirmed it was most likely due to chickenpox he'd had earlier that year. The illness I was convinced was run of the mill, a mild childhood illness he just needed to get out of the way.

splendide · 10/02/2017 10:44

If you deliberately expose your child to CP you are a shit parent and bloody ignorant.

I don't think you can say this unless you also think failing to vaccinate makes you a shit parent.

sparechange · 10/02/2017 11:08

I can't believe there are still people posting that they are happy for their children to have CP when you are reading it can cause life changing disabilities.

Completely agree. I can't reconcile this with the guaranteed mass hysteria on the threads about leaving a child alone in the house or car for 5 mins in case something spontaneously combusts, or they get abducted by aliens

Bettyspants · 10/02/2017 11:11

These incredibly sad comments reflect what I've seen in practice, that severe complications from cp are becoming more common.

murmuration · 10/02/2017 11:36

betty - that's very curious. Any idea why complications might be getting more common? (is CP evolving??)

paddypants13 · 10/02/2017 11:37

Some terrible stories on here, people forget how serious childhood illnesses can be.

I wouldn't expose my children to any illness on purpose. Dd got cp from nursery and wasn't really ill. Ds got cp and it was horrendous. He ended up being blue lighted to hosp in the middle of the night because of a chest infection, which was a complication of cp. Awful.

user1484394242 · 10/02/2017 11:47

Just to add, my DD was 3 when she had CP both times so not under 12m - there was a bit of time in between but not much, maybe a few weeks. GP said it's possible she caught it off herself because she hadn't been anywhere in between (childminders kids had CP too so I couldn't send DD once she was better and I had no one to look after her. I'd taken extra time off work so either she picked it up from someone around town or the GP was right)