"I hope they all become little old ladies. Because the alternative is worse."
There are worse things than death, I can absolutely assure you of that.
Imagine being bedbound 24/7, totally dependant on care staff for your every need. You're in chronic and disabling pain, but you can't express yourself adequately due to confusion or dementia. You've perhaps had a stroke and can't communicate even if you're not demented though. Staff come in and try to keep you clean and fed, but they don't have the time to see to the little things and even more important stuff is overlooked on a regular basis because they're so busy, or perhaps just don't notice. You're stuck in front of a tv with some dreadful programme blaring out, or perhaps the staff have put the radio on to give them something to listen to - it's loud and is playing some screechy Beyoncé number.
You're cold, but you can't tell anybody. You hate juice, but you can't tell anyone, so take to spitting it out to avoid swallowing it. You're thirsty, but not given an alternative drink because the staff think you're not thirsty.
They get you ready for a shower or bath and you have to be hoisted into a shower chair. It's cold and the staff don't realise or care that your limbs hurt when they're moved or when you're cold. You're naked and vulnerable as the staff chat amongst themselves about their recent night out or the short staffing problems they currently have in the home.
Mealtime consists of food you either can't eat (chewy meat, salad or crisps) or that tastes of not much and is just gooey in texture. The staff have to add thickener to your drinks so that it's safer to swallow and doesn't trickle into your windpipe and cause you to cough and splutter.
Somebody tries to get you to take medicines four times a day, but you feel nauseous and can't tell anyone, so you try to spit them out. The nurse thinks you're being awkward and has them prescribed in liquid form so they can be easier to get down.
You need the loo, but the staff are too busy to take you, so you end up sitting on a wet incontinence pad. You develop a uti, but can't tell anyone that you need the loo every five minutes and it stings. The uti takes a hold and you feel sick, you smell strange, your back hurts and you get a temperature.
Your relatives visit infrequently and you have no one to advocate for you. You're frightened, lonely, bored, in discomfort and pain, stuck in front of tv. You get diarrhoea or constipation. Your skin becomes sore or itchy and there's nothing you can do about it.
This is your reality day after day, month after month, sometimes for several years.
This is the reality for thousands and thousands of elderly people throughout the uk right now. This is what we have to look forward to. Sure, most older people can express themselves and make some choices, but many can't, and their ability to control their own environment decreases the older and sicker they become.