To be miffed about a guilt trip from Ds Beavers Group

[cheekybean]

DS attends a Beavers group. Recently the leader has left and no permanent replacement has been found. The group has now said parents are to take it over or it will close.

When I dropped ds off tonight, i was approached by four staff each lecturing me on how my child will miss out due to parents being selfish and treating it like childcare. I ended up feeling like the closure was entirely my fault!! I picked up my newborn baby, my 4yr old dd and said cheerio to ds1. They approached and lectured every parent, leaving us all pissed off. The reason i let my ds go to beavers was to boost his confidence and me being there would defeat the object.

I know that these groups are run by volunteers but surelyit is not a case of a parent simply taking over. There must be planning, crb checks, badge activities, trip planning, risk assessements etc etc. I ran a playgroup so i know its not just an hour of your time.

Am i being unreasonable to be annoyed? I have contacted another group tonight to see if ds can go there until he starts cubs next year

Brilliant update! Good for you, OP!!

Woops just saw your update - well done! Feel free to PM me for ideas if needed - I have a Beaver and Cub of my own :)

They aren't staff they are volunteers, if you can not help then day so but they are doing their best to keep the unit open for your child. Don't be so bloody ungrateful

Tbh I get where they are coming from. Scouts/cubs etc totally depend on volunteers. My DC gets amazing (and very cheap) oppurtunities because of our fantastic scout unit. Since DH died I admit I do very little however I have in the past been group secretary, occssional parent helper and was also a parent governor. I work full time in a very demanding job and honestly I usually hated the idea after a day at work. However over a year this worked out as a few hours a month. The apathy of parents and total assumption that for £3 a week all this just magically happens is astounding. We are so lucky we have amazing leaders who have been doing it for years and will happily work almost full time planning sessions, maintaining the hut, organising camp etc. Very few parents will help although this would be every other month on a rota. When the current leaders go so does our very dynamic and popular scout unit.

Oops didn't read the whole thread. Good for you op!

Bullying? Really?
My sons Beavers is equally desperate and needs a parents rota to survive. About 4 have agreed to be leaders on rotation and everyone else has to help on the parents rota.
I have 4 kids and will have to get a babysitter when it's my turn but I wouldn't expect him to go to Beavers without me taking a turn to help in some way.
Couldn't you take the baby with you and get a babysitter for the pre-schooler? If your son goes to Beavers it seems a reasonable request to ask that yo help. The 'staff' that you mentioned will most likely be overworked parents like yourself.

The staff you spoke to were volunteers giving up their free time to carry on trying to contribute positively to the next generation. I do Guides but it is not just an hour a week, we plan do DNS checks, admin and that doesn't include the activities themselves. We are on a shoestring budget as we often have to pay for venue hire too. Often circumstances outside our control men that a leader had to retire and due to lack of uptake for volunteers parents have to rotate. Unfortunately they way you were asked was probably wrong but we love working with the children/ young people and maybe our sheer desperation comes across this way. We have to meet certain ratio's of adults to children and without this the uninformed organisation can't exist. I'm see sorry you felt that way.

I'm sorry you feel like you were bullied, but I suspect you were asked directly by someone who loves Scouting and doesn't want the unit to close as a last ditch attempt.

I'm a Brownie and Guide guider, and often bring my toddler to meetings, events etc as we don't have childcare but I'd hate the girls to miss out. That's not to say it's what you should do, more that people are familiar with having to Guidw/ scout flexibly. Last week at Brownies the other leader was on a course so I had a parent plus her two other children.

With both my units I have a parents rota, because we would shut without them. I know a local Beaver/ Cub unit where if you aren't on the rota, your child can't have a place. I work on the basis that if everyone mucks in, each parent only needs to come once/ twice a year

There's lots of other ways you could offer to help that might take some responsibility from other volunteers, but not require you to be there weekly: accounts, shopping, support at events etc

In Guiding alone there are 50,000 girls on waiting lists over the UK yet in our local area we're closing units because of a lack of volunteers. Yes recruitment checks are rigorous, but I can't imagine a parent who'd want their children Safeguarded to want it any other way? That said, I can DBS someone in 40 minutes and am getting checks back in 3-4 days.

As I say, I'm sorry you felt like you were being bullied and I understand that you're not in a position to help weekly right now - but unless people do make/ find time then beavers won't be there to help any children with their confidence

Just saw your update! Hurrah! Well if you do need help with activities don't be afraid to ask - I know there's a huge amount of crossover locally.

Right, back off to cutting out newspaper fish for an evening of water games tonight

Good advice above about getting people to do other jobs. I would not want to volunteer on the night, I just can't cope with large groups of kids and definitely not for camps, but I would be happy enough to do something behind the scenes to help eg accounts., emails to parents, that sort of thing. DH and I did help out the odd evening but probably not as much as we could have done.

People may not have time or the inclination to help every week but I defy anyone to say they can't make time for a couple of hours a month for background tasks. Unless of course they volunteer elsewhere eg with the Guides :)

Good for you, OP.

At dd's Brownies, which was mega-oversubscribed, the leader said that anyone whose parent committed to volunteer regularly could go to the top of the list!

I m in Ireland and covering the one programme assume the same is the case in the UK? Well done. ..i get as much if not more out our section than the kids do.

Behaviour etc will be covered in training. ..esp child protection course.
You'd be surprised how good the kids are..esp the beevers who want to make adults happy.
I find the cubs are more challenging. .only because they're older and we re encouraging "youth led leadership"...I want my cubs to be well rounded compent kids who aren't afraid of a challenge and can problem solve...watching them develop over 3 years it an almost teenager who can plan a trip...knows first aid and has compassion and team spirit is just amazing....we focus on feelings and emotions and when we review our activities it's with emotions in mind so they're in tune with feelings...V important in their journey through life. ..
I always thought scouting was knots and tents but it's so so much more rounded than that. ..I see the value and our ventures are just outstanding young adults.

I think an issue here is that parents (myself included at one point) aren't aware of the amount of work that goes into these units. Hours of volunteering, planning and training. We see it as a 'club' we pay for but the leaders aren't paid in the same way that the ballet teacher or football coach are so I think you owe it to your child to at least help once or twice as an occasional helper which is what I am. If there are 22 children in a pack and each parent was to volunteer an eve or two then pressure would be off. Of nobody steps up, there's no group. It sounds like tactics could be improved but it sounds like they're desperate.